Mindfullness
Mindfullness
From Mindful Recovery by Thomas Bien.
The first truth is that suffering is. When you suffer, when you are unhappy, the most important step is the first one - to recognize that you are sufffering. You can do nothing about your suffering if you do not allow yourself to recognize it. So when you are suffereing, acknowledge it. That is the first step. Breathe in and out, and smile to your suffering, for by smiling you assert your capacity to be mindful.
The second truth is that suffering has a cause. When you look deeply into reality, calming yourself, you can see what is really causing your suffering. Often this is not what you think. It is not the circumstances or people you want to blame. It is yourself. The question is not what others have done to you to get you into a mess. The question is what are you doing that creates your suffereing? How are you living?
The third truth is that there is a way out. This is easy once you have identified the factors that are causing your suffering. Once you know the true cause, it is easy to see what you need to do.
The fourth truth - The Eightfold Path of Right View, Right Thinking, Right Speech, ans so on - is an explication of act, work, and so on, then there are ways that are incorrect, which cause suffering rather than alleviate it.
Whenever you suffer, calm youself, and use the Four Noble Truths as your guide. Recognize your suffering. Inquire into its nature, its causes. Ask yourself what you are doing that creates the suffering, and what you need to do to find well-being. When you have some insight, talk to a trusted friend about it, and see if she can add to it.
Be Kind to Yourselves~
The first truth is that suffering is. When you suffer, when you are unhappy, the most important step is the first one - to recognize that you are sufffering. You can do nothing about your suffering if you do not allow yourself to recognize it. So when you are suffereing, acknowledge it. That is the first step. Breathe in and out, and smile to your suffering, for by smiling you assert your capacity to be mindful.
The second truth is that suffering has a cause. When you look deeply into reality, calming yourself, you can see what is really causing your suffering. Often this is not what you think. It is not the circumstances or people you want to blame. It is yourself. The question is not what others have done to you to get you into a mess. The question is what are you doing that creates your suffereing? How are you living?
The third truth is that there is a way out. This is easy once you have identified the factors that are causing your suffering. Once you know the true cause, it is easy to see what you need to do.
The fourth truth - The Eightfold Path of Right View, Right Thinking, Right Speech, ans so on - is an explication of act, work, and so on, then there are ways that are incorrect, which cause suffering rather than alleviate it.
Whenever you suffer, calm youself, and use the Four Noble Truths as your guide. Recognize your suffering. Inquire into its nature, its causes. Ask yourself what you are doing that creates the suffering, and what you need to do to find well-being. When you have some insight, talk to a trusted friend about it, and see if she can add to it.
Be Kind to Yourselves~
Hi,
Nice post!
I took a mindfulness in recovery course this summer, and attend a meditation group and the ideas are finally gaining some traction.
Lately, when the idea to drink comes in my mind, I just BE with the idea, as an observer, see what it is saying...and calmly say, "It is just a thought." And I KNOW what an irrational, sneaky, unhelpful thought it is.
I would say the thought is destructive, but I think that is giving it too much power. Drinking as an ACTION is destructive, but the thought of drinking? Well, it's just a thought. And my mind throws it up because it is trained to do that. I have all sorts of 'storylines' in my mind.
That's fine for the thought to pop up, I can see it for what it is and gently but firmly redirect my mind to the truth, to a way of being kind to myself, and not tearing myself down.
Nice post!
I took a mindfulness in recovery course this summer, and attend a meditation group and the ideas are finally gaining some traction.
Lately, when the idea to drink comes in my mind, I just BE with the idea, as an observer, see what it is saying...and calmly say, "It is just a thought." And I KNOW what an irrational, sneaky, unhelpful thought it is.
I would say the thought is destructive, but I think that is giving it too much power. Drinking as an ACTION is destructive, but the thought of drinking? Well, it's just a thought. And my mind throws it up because it is trained to do that. I have all sorts of 'storylines' in my mind.
That's fine for the thought to pop up, I can see it for what it is and gently but firmly redirect my mind to the truth, to a way of being kind to myself, and not tearing myself down.
Things to Do When Negative Emotions Strike
From Mindful Recovery by Thomas Bien.
1. Return to your breathing. Embrace and accept the feeling just as it is, holding it and calming it.
2. Look deeply into these feelings. As you begin to feel a little more calm, see what insight comes up for you about being in this circumstance - how it came to be, what the way out is. Allow these insights to arise without forcing.
3. See if you can find an element of distortion or exaggeration in your thoughts. Be present with these in a gentle, loving way, without fighting with them. See if more positive constructive ways of thinking emerge.
4. See the troubling even or circumstance in light of the Fiver Rememberances. Sif if laughter wells up.
5. Practice walking meditation. There is something soothing about the rhythmic motion of walking, thre fresh air, the contact with the outside world. If you are also cultivationg awareness of the present moment and appreciation of the walking and the many wonders around you, doing your best not to just rehearse your worries, half an hour of this practice can be incredibly helpful.
6. If you engage in distraction, engage in it mindfully (without worrying about the paradox). If you watch a movie, try to be as present to it as you can. Take it in deeply. Perhaps you also want to take some care to pick one that is not too depressing or anger provoking. If you succumb to your love of chocolate, really succumb. Try not to wolf it down in the car, but instead, sit someplace where you can really enjoy the cholcolate, chewing it slowly and mindfully. Enjoy it more deeply than you normally would, rather than less.
7. Call a friend who has some stability in mindfulness practice, and ask to sit beside him or her for a while.
8. Call your therapist if you have one. If you do not, and if you have a tendency to be overwhelmed by negative emotions more than you would like, find one. It's great if you can find one whi is interested in mindfulnes. But if not, don't worry. All therapy worthy of the name seeks to raise awareness in one way or another, and is in this sense a mindfulness practice.
9. If your emotions are triggering a desire to drink or use, remember that the worst part of this is usually over fairly quickly. Engage in some activity that will occupy your active attention for a while. By then you may find that the urge is quite manageable. Or try being with the urge and breathing mindfully, exploring it like any other thought crossing your mind - if this is comfortable for you.
10. Remember that the same thing applies to moods: they also do onot last. Allow yourself to experience a mood without fear that you will be caught there forever, since mood is as impermanent as everything else.
11. Practice active imagination. See if the present mood can be drawn, painted, danced, or written about. Perhaps the mood wants to personify itself in some inner character of you psyche, whom you candraw or engage in a written dialogue. Notice how your mood shifts.
12. Practice no self. "I am just experiencing this particular mood or emotion. It does not have to be clung to, or feared. It can settle itself.
13. Look deeply into this truth: No one in the entire universe is more deserving of loving kindness than I am.
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Be Kind to Yourself.
1. Return to your breathing. Embrace and accept the feeling just as it is, holding it and calming it.
2. Look deeply into these feelings. As you begin to feel a little more calm, see what insight comes up for you about being in this circumstance - how it came to be, what the way out is. Allow these insights to arise without forcing.
3. See if you can find an element of distortion or exaggeration in your thoughts. Be present with these in a gentle, loving way, without fighting with them. See if more positive constructive ways of thinking emerge.
4. See the troubling even or circumstance in light of the Fiver Rememberances. Sif if laughter wells up.
5. Practice walking meditation. There is something soothing about the rhythmic motion of walking, thre fresh air, the contact with the outside world. If you are also cultivationg awareness of the present moment and appreciation of the walking and the many wonders around you, doing your best not to just rehearse your worries, half an hour of this practice can be incredibly helpful.
6. If you engage in distraction, engage in it mindfully (without worrying about the paradox). If you watch a movie, try to be as present to it as you can. Take it in deeply. Perhaps you also want to take some care to pick one that is not too depressing or anger provoking. If you succumb to your love of chocolate, really succumb. Try not to wolf it down in the car, but instead, sit someplace where you can really enjoy the cholcolate, chewing it slowly and mindfully. Enjoy it more deeply than you normally would, rather than less.
7. Call a friend who has some stability in mindfulness practice, and ask to sit beside him or her for a while.
8. Call your therapist if you have one. If you do not, and if you have a tendency to be overwhelmed by negative emotions more than you would like, find one. It's great if you can find one whi is interested in mindfulnes. But if not, don't worry. All therapy worthy of the name seeks to raise awareness in one way or another, and is in this sense a mindfulness practice.
9. If your emotions are triggering a desire to drink or use, remember that the worst part of this is usually over fairly quickly. Engage in some activity that will occupy your active attention for a while. By then you may find that the urge is quite manageable. Or try being with the urge and breathing mindfully, exploring it like any other thought crossing your mind - if this is comfortable for you.
10. Remember that the same thing applies to moods: they also do onot last. Allow yourself to experience a mood without fear that you will be caught there forever, since mood is as impermanent as everything else.
11. Practice active imagination. See if the present mood can be drawn, painted, danced, or written about. Perhaps the mood wants to personify itself in some inner character of you psyche, whom you candraw or engage in a written dialogue. Notice how your mood shifts.
12. Practice no self. "I am just experiencing this particular mood or emotion. It does not have to be clung to, or feared. It can settle itself.
13. Look deeply into this truth: No one in the entire universe is more deserving of loving kindness than I am.
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Be Kind to Yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
FlBeachGuy, I remember reading your first post. I think we joined around the same time. Looks like you have come a long way. I am happy to see that. Hope everyday is getting better for you. It is for me. Thanks for the post and keep up the good work! I'm jealous of your nice sunny weather. It's cold in Tennessee. LOL.
FlBeachGuy, I remember reading your first post. I think we joined around the same time. Looks like you have come a long way. I am happy to see that. Hope everyday is getting better for you. It is for me. Thanks for the post and keep up the good work! I'm jealous of your nice sunny weather. It's cold in Tennessee. LOL.
Don't mean to make you more jealous(hehe) just got back from a walk on the beach for a bit of walking meditation and taking the world in with fresh eyes. And mid 80s for the weekend . Keep warm girlsearching, stay in touch, and be kind to yourself
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