This has to be day 1!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Tampa FL
Posts: 178
This has to be day 1!
Had 42 days, relapsed 2 weeks ago and severely hung over today from a blackout drunk yesterday. If I don't stop, there is no question that alcohol is going to kill me. There is no in between anymore, either I abstain or I get black out wasted. It is basically every other day....drink one night, recover the next. I was so horrifically hung over Saturday and then did it again last night! My husband came back home after leaving for work because he forgot something and found me in bed instead of at work....I was so ashamed. I can't believe how quickly my alcoholism is progressing. I'm so scared. I have to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I've gone through the same cycle for many years. Alcoholism is progressive and things probably will get worse, as they did for me, if you don't quit now.
Remember how you feel now next time you feel like having a drinking. The guilt, remorse and anxiety. It's not worth it. Just don't take that first drink, and best to you.
Remember how you feel now next time you feel like having a drinking. The guilt, remorse and anxiety. It's not worth it. Just don't take that first drink, and best to you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It can be. I can't even count how many days I woke up and thought it would be the day I quit, but went right back to the beer.
The good news is that this can be your real Day 1. It's 100% in your hands to make the choice. It won't 'be simple, and you will most likely need help - but you absolutely can do this. All it takes is you making a simple decision - I will not drink today.
The good news is that this can be your real Day 1. It's 100% in your hands to make the choice. It won't 'be simple, and you will most likely need help - but you absolutely can do this. All it takes is you making a simple decision - I will not drink today.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
You CAN do this!
You're right, the further in you get the more quickly it progresses. The last 6 months of my drinking were the worst. A defining moment was when I stopped to pick up a 6 pack (believe me, I knew there would be more there waiting for me) before hitting the highway to my brothers. It was a quick jump to his house from there, a total of a 10 to 15 minute drive. I was contemplating opening a beer in the car while on the road before I got to his house. I had never done that before. My body was singing for that beer and I needed it right away once I had it. That really scared me. The NGGGGGGGGGG feeling. Like a hungry animal standing there waiting for it's owner to put it's food dish down. Positively disgusting.
Find your way out, you can do this. It only gets worse.
You're right, the further in you get the more quickly it progresses. The last 6 months of my drinking were the worst. A defining moment was when I stopped to pick up a 6 pack (believe me, I knew there would be more there waiting for me) before hitting the highway to my brothers. It was a quick jump to his house from there, a total of a 10 to 15 minute drive. I was contemplating opening a beer in the car while on the road before I got to his house. I had never done that before. My body was singing for that beer and I needed it right away once I had it. That really scared me. The NGGGGGGGGGG feeling. Like a hungry animal standing there waiting for it's owner to put it's food dish down. Positively disgusting.
Find your way out, you can do this. It only gets worse.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 639
,You can really beat this. I totally got your post, as I feel exactly the same. Day 2 after terrible drunk on Sat, shame and embarrassment, self hatred etc. This has to stick now. We don't have to feel this way anymore. Do whatever it takes, well done on Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
You really need a multifaceted tool kit for recovery. Talking to and helping other people get and stay sober really helps. I read a lot of biographies written by people in recovery (Yellow Tail, Drinking A Love Story), and go to AA. Most people think "Oh I've quit drinking, I'm recovered." Not a true statement. There is a emotional and psychological problem why most of us drink/drank. As you progress in Alcoholism - those buzzes get shorter and misery gets longer - some it takes years, others months. You have to want to quit and not do it for others. The more sober time you get - the easier it is to resist drinking and get through urges. I try to think "I never have to wake up feeling anxiety or hungover again."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Welcome back CD...miss you in Oct. As you know, I have done AA 3 times and stayed sober many years, but relapsed 3 times in between. It is a good program, but these days there are many options....Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, SR, SMART recovery, etc. When I first got sober in 1991, these did not exist (that I know of). We can all do this! No matter what method works for us...but, I agree....there HAS to be a plan....even if it is just logging on here, consistently. Keep posting and responding, all! The incomprehensible demoralization doesn't get any better.....You can do this! All the best.....
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