rcutch

So my AH may or may not have hit his 30 days clean. He says he has, but I don't believe him. Regardless, God has handed me a precious gift and oddly, I don't know what to do with it.

As I began to feel like I couldn't handle anymore, we received a call that my Father In Law was hospitalized in FL and not expected to make it. My AH and his 3 brothers headed to FL. It was a crazy week and I found myself trying to manage his addiction from PA. Many things happened that week, and long story short AH stayed in FL while brothers returned. FIL is on a road to recovery, and I have had the much needed break from the AH. He will remain down there until possibly Christmas.

As all of this is occurring, my kids were spending a few nights with my mom and I had 3 nights at home alone. I found out that I have NO idea what to do with myself. I am clearly seeing that I have allowed my AH to consume all of my time...regardless of the meetings, bible studies, etc. I have forgotten who I am and what I like. I don't even know how to begin to rediscover that. I welcome thoughts and suggestions as to ways that you rediscovered your happiness inside you

hopeful4

Isn't it amazing. When I have 10 mins alone I don't even know what to do with myself.

Here are my suggestions:

Celebrate Recovery or Alanon Meeting
long hot baths
workout
TAKE A NAP FOR GOODNESS SAKE
Go to Barnes and Noble and drink a coffee and look at books
Dinner w/ a friend
Tape Xmas movies and come home, lay on the couch and watch them all night long

Those are just the start of what I would do. Thanks for posting...I think I will take some time to myself very soon, pick one of these and just go do it!

Hope you have a peaceful and relaxing time!

overit263

rediscovering your happiness is an amazing thing. I watch all the trashy tv I want! I read when I want, go shopping when I want if I have the money...I drive to a Starbucks and get a coffee and relax. I take drives to places I've never been especially since I'm living in a state I've never lived in. He left, I stayed. I'm a grown up that doesn't get to abandon everything like he did. I love the calmness alone, that's the greatest relief there is.

Txhelp

I have been eating out by myself! This is very new for me and quite nice...bring a book or magazine!

Leana

rcutch
Where in PA do you live? Lancaster County here!

I understand completely. When my daughter first went into rehab I think I walked the dogs 5 times a day. I was so bored I didn't know what else to do with myself.

rcutch

Leana - I am in Cumberland County - not too far away. Oddly I have thought about getting a puppy. I had a 5 year old Bernese Mountain Dog that was my BEST friend. I work from home, so wherever I was - he was. Sadly we had to have him put down at the beginning of the year due to cancer. While I would love the companionship, I recognize it would just be something else for me to focus on instead of me. So I have promised myself the puppy will come in spring.

Twofish

Hi Recutch, When everyone is either at school, a meeting or to a Dr.s appointment...I find my home oddly quiet, like before addiction entered our lives. I walk around, looking at the mounds of laundry, dishes or dog toys laying around. I don't like this feeling of no disaster about to happen, because it always seems to happen . It's been a long time since the quiet and calm have come around me, it's like "when is the bomb gonna drop on me today?" I fear the quiet, the silence, it's been away for so long, I do wish it would stay, comfort me. Hang around my family. The quiet gives me hope. Will my adult ADs find hope and stay sober? Will this peace enter their lives, make them feel positive, confident and not be triggered by something in their lives or my home. I crave and fear it. The quiet, the unknown, the "what's gonna happen next" feeling. Have a peaceful, quiet Tuesday SR! TF

overit263

I adopted a dog during the whole mess. BEST thing I ever did. He has been the best therapy I could have asked for. I get out, talk to people, exercise and when I'm feeling down about things, he's always ready for a hug - he latches on too and I can't get his arms off my neck!

Ann

Although my son was the addicted loved one in my life, when we moved north I took up photography as a hobby. It was something I could do alone and got me outdoors, and I discovered it was something I could do with others as well. I chose themes, one was lighthouses, and asked my neighbour friend if she wanted to go on a shoot with me and have lunch in a quaint town along the way. She loved the opportunity to get outdoors and explore too.

Photographing nature led to some amateur bird watching...see how this works. I read about places I'd like to photograph and went there and did.

Today I have lots of time for me and can fill every minute without having to think to hard about what I want to do.

I am in Florida for the winter and am having a wonderful time taking pictures of the wildlife here. My husband takes his binoculars and loves this too.

It's so much healthier than spending my time living in fear every day.

This gal (roseate spoonbill) makes my heart smile, something the world of addiction never did...not once.

overit263

I love photography too, but my cameras were pawned so it's been a while. Any suggestions on cameras Ann? Sorry for the hijack! I'm from the north and am living in the south now, lots of pics I wish that I had a camera for but that was another casualty of addiction.

Ann

I'm a big Canon fan, easy to use and good pictures. The small ones are not too expensive. The one I use is an SX40, no longer made but there are updated models. I opted to stay with digital. To go bigger than that would mean hauling equipment and using tripods. I like to be spontaneous and shoot what I see.