croydonlad

I'm almost six weeks sober and I'm doing pretty well so far. No desire to drink, no cravings, no trouble around other people who are drinking. I don't miss it at all.

But! The other day I did someone a favour at work and they offered to buy me a bottle of wine to say thanks. I insisted they didn't have to and changed the subject. They really wanted to get me the wine though.

I'm not ready to be open to people at work that I'm not drinking because I have a problem. This is because they've seen me drink before but they haven't seen me drunk so I don't want to invite questions about me not drinking especially when it involves people from my job.

I'm finding it easy to say no to drink around my friends but what about office Christmas parties and similar events over the holidays? What is a good way to say no to alcohol that doesn't invite too many questions from other people? Is there even a good way?

I don't find it difficult to say no to a drink but, as previously mentioned, when a colleague offered to buy me some wine, I found their insistence a little awkward.

apophylite

I am going to tell people at work that it seems to affect me badly nowadays and thats why i have given up completely.

Aiko

Hi Croy,

I have not told my work mates either...
and they do not understand why I keep on say No thanks...
I was the worst one... and now I avoid it... Strange...!

I got to drive!
I am taking antibiotics...!
You are on a diet...
etc.

If they give you a bottle give it as a present to another...
I do not like this one You have it...
Will have to get rid of them ASAP
I get bottles at Christmas...
say you prefer chocolates...

You handle it have a plan!!!

LSC1

My first sober Christmas .. I got soooooo many bottle of wine as gifts .... I re-gifted them as soon as I could ... some didn't even make it home ... I found someone else to give it to ... I had 1 close friend who knew I was stopping and I dropped a couple of bottles off to him .. so they didn't have to go into my house.

Aiko

Sorry just remember the Classic:
I got a Headache!!!
I got away so many times with this one...

Pete55

I know of a member who recently accepted a bottle of wine from work and passed it on to one of their family. You don't HAVE to drink there on the spot.
Although I have had no experiences with work or friends offering me drinks, as I had nothing in the end, no work, no work associates etc and no Xmas or NY parties.

I can only say what I have heard since getting sober from other members of AA that have not lost as much and still had their jobs.

One of my favorite lines I heard when offered a drink is,
"No thanks, not today, I'm driving later on" type of thing.

If I do go now to family events where there is alcohol, since recovering, I simply don't drink, glass of water with slice of lemon and don't stay for long. Eventually no one will notice anyway. I was very well "noticed" when I drank though.
No thanks, not today!

Hevyn

Hi Croydonlad. Good suggestions have already been made - I just want to say I think it's wise of you to be thinking about this now. I was caught off guard so many times when I first quit. This won't happen to you.

Dee74

I just posted a thread on Thanksgiving and Xmas - it is possible to get through this

D

croydonlad

Thanks guys!

I don't mind telling my friends and family why I'm not drinking as they're understanding and accepting but over the Christmas period I'll be mixing with people who I have done to a lesser extent in certain social situations, who don't know me as well and who being open to about my problems will invite unwanted questions and possible professional complications. I don't want my colleagues to know and feel awkward or my bosses to assume I might be a problem for them. Too complicated.

Luckily, I never seem to have had alcohol given to me that often as a gift in the past and I can always pass that on but it's just turning down drinks and making excuses for not drinking when out over the holidays.

As I say, with the way I'm feeling at the moment, I don't think I will be tempted to drink, it's just feeling awkward in that situation when everyone else is in party mode and dealing with people reacting to me not drinking.

Best to be prepared and in the right frame of mind!

Anna

In my opinion, drinking at an Office Christmas Party is a bad choice for anyone. It can never lead to anything good.

Yes, there is a good way. Say 'No, thanks' with the conviction that you do not owe anyone an explanation for what you are drinking or not. And, remember that it's rude for someone to question your 'No, thanks'. Remove the discontent that you feel, and put it where it belongs - on the person who is being rude.