Should I take it back?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 79
Should I take it back?
It is 3 weeks today since XABF moved out and I am still hurting & missing him so much. It is difficult to see him/speak to him in a 'non-relationship' scenario so I have made a decision to try the 'No Contact' approach. However, for this to be successful, there must be nothing tying us to eachother but I bought him a van a few months ago so that he could work and start earning cash, like he wanted but this has not happened.
I am the legal owner of the van and the main insurance policy holder. He said he will pay me up as soon as he can then we can change ownership over but this will obviously take time.
He text me today to say his brother (who owns his own business) has given him some work so he will start paying me off. The thing is, his brother has given him work many times over the years and about 5 times during his 7 months sobriety, alone, but they clash & it never lasts long - his brother is an active drinker/user!
So..........my question is: Should I take the vehicle back and sell it to make all or some of my money back? Or just stay out of contact but give him my account details so that he can deposit money into my account as/when he has it?
I am the legal owner of the van and the main insurance policy holder. He said he will pay me up as soon as he can then we can change ownership over but this will obviously take time.
He text me today to say his brother (who owns his own business) has given him some work so he will start paying me off. The thing is, his brother has given him work many times over the years and about 5 times during his 7 months sobriety, alone, but they clash & it never lasts long - his brother is an active drinker/user!
So..........my question is: Should I take the vehicle back and sell it to make all or some of my money back? Or just stay out of contact but give him my account details so that he can deposit money into my account as/when he has it?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Take the vehicle back and close the door on contact with him. It's hurtful for you to maintain contact and hoping he will pay you back for the van will mean continuing contact, maybe for years. And, as you said, the job may end and the payments will stop. End it now, and try to move forward with your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
he has had the van for a few months and has not managed in that time to pay back any money. I agree with the above, sell the van, look after yourself and move on.
You can see that continuing the contact with him is hurting you, listen to that. Time will heal and you will feel better and be glad that you removed yourself from the relationship.
keep strong and keep sober.
CaiHong
You can see that continuing the contact with him is hurting you, listen to that. Time will heal and you will feel better and be glad that you removed yourself from the relationship.
keep strong and keep sober.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: East Coast
Posts: 427
I sold the car to help pay off debt, especially since my xah can't even be found, so there's no way he's going to help with all of our debt. The divorce is already dragged out by him which is more than frustrating. I'm selling other things as well just to chip away at the debt as much as possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 79
I'm sorry for the situation that has brought you here. We all need to support each other so one thing I know is that SR is helping. Even though I'm still in the early stages with my situation, I am so glad I found this site.
Love & Serenity xx
Love & Serenity xx
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