From Weekend Alcoholic to?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
From Weekend Alcoholic to?
Hi everyone,
I am 29 years old and I consider myself to have an alcohol problem.
As I trawled the internet, interchanging a combination of words in order to pin down my problem, I came across a phrase that I have used when describing myself quite often: 'Weekend Alcoholic'.
My story is different from others' however I am hoping some can relate and offer insight and a glowing light at the end.
My story is not one of a tragic upbringing. I come from a good family and didn't have my first beer until I was 17. I believe I was born to have an addiction because of the feeling intoxication gave me feel the first time it occurred. Unlike normal drinkers, I learned no lesson from my first debilitating hangover. All I could think of was the freedom it created in my mind. I drank steadily from 18 onwards. It began by taking a six pack to a party, then going thirds in a bottle of whiskey, then going halves in a carton of beer, to eventually buying my own carton and own bottle of whiskey.
Every drinking episode I have now sets me back 4 days in my life. All my aspirations are marred by my dependency to keep putting myself through hell in the hope I'll feel like I am in heaven .
I used to start on Friday night and if I got drunk I typically would call it quits for the weekend. When I was 20 I experienced my first binge. I felt it to be an exhilarating experience. I drank for 2 straight days without sleep and the feeling at the time was euphoric. The sickness that proceeded was like nothing else. Since then I have had close to 100 of these 2 day sessions.
I worry a lot now about where it will go and how to stop it. Every time I awake from these sessions I promise myself that it will be the last. Once I feel better again I seem to forget everything I learned and see that high again.
I've been meditating and getting psychotherapy but the fact is I still have it in me to blow out off one drink. I'm worried that soon, I won't be able to bounce back.
I'm beginning to think that as much as I enjoy a wine with my food or a beer with the game I may never be able to learn moderation or stop the demon that forces me to keep going until I can't go any further.
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Cheers for listening,
I am 29 years old and I consider myself to have an alcohol problem.
As I trawled the internet, interchanging a combination of words in order to pin down my problem, I came across a phrase that I have used when describing myself quite often: 'Weekend Alcoholic'.
My story is different from others' however I am hoping some can relate and offer insight and a glowing light at the end.
My story is not one of a tragic upbringing. I come from a good family and didn't have my first beer until I was 17. I believe I was born to have an addiction because of the feeling intoxication gave me feel the first time it occurred. Unlike normal drinkers, I learned no lesson from my first debilitating hangover. All I could think of was the freedom it created in my mind. I drank steadily from 18 onwards. It began by taking a six pack to a party, then going thirds in a bottle of whiskey, then going halves in a carton of beer, to eventually buying my own carton and own bottle of whiskey.
Every drinking episode I have now sets me back 4 days in my life. All my aspirations are marred by my dependency to keep putting myself through hell in the hope I'll feel like I am in heaven .
I used to start on Friday night and if I got drunk I typically would call it quits for the weekend. When I was 20 I experienced my first binge. I felt it to be an exhilarating experience. I drank for 2 straight days without sleep and the feeling at the time was euphoric. The sickness that proceeded was like nothing else. Since then I have had close to 100 of these 2 day sessions.
I worry a lot now about where it will go and how to stop it. Every time I awake from these sessions I promise myself that it will be the last. Once I feel better again I seem to forget everything I learned and see that high again.
I've been meditating and getting psychotherapy but the fact is I still have it in me to blow out off one drink. I'm worried that soon, I won't be able to bounce back.
I'm beginning to think that as much as I enjoy a wine with my food or a beer with the game I may never be able to learn moderation or stop the demon that forces me to keep going until I can't go any further.
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Cheers for listening,
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome to SR 
When I was your age I drank at the weekends only. It soon escalated to every day. It gets worse not better. I don't worry about labels ,alcoholic,weekend alcoholic, everyday alcoholic,problem drinker,excessive drinker.To me ,all that matters is do I have a problem when I drink? Are there consequences I'm not happy with? If so,the only answer is to quit. For me, the only way to stop was to stop drinking completely.
Moderation can't be learned. People who moderate do it naturally,they don't have to think about it. Once you start trying to control your drinking it's already controlling you.
I read a great line on here a few weeks ago. Someone said they didn't quit drinking because they'd lost everything. They quit drinking because they had everything to lose if they carried on drinking.
When I was your age I drank at the weekends only. It soon escalated to every day. It gets worse not better. I don't worry about labels ,alcoholic,weekend alcoholic, everyday alcoholic,problem drinker,excessive drinker.To me ,all that matters is do I have a problem when I drink? Are there consequences I'm not happy with? If so,the only answer is to quit. For me, the only way to stop was to stop drinking completely.
Moderation can't be learned. People who moderate do it naturally,they don't have to think about it. Once you start trying to control your drinking it's already controlling you.
I read a great line on here a few weeks ago. Someone said they didn't quit drinking because they'd lost everything. They quit drinking because they had everything to lose if they carried on drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome autumnofourtime, in my early twenties i used to binge drink at weekends. My inability to stop when i had the first drink should have been a huge warning sign for me. It wasn't though. Fast forward a couple more years and by 25 i was drinking every single day and my life was spiraling out of control. The rate at which my drinking progressed was terrifying. I can't moderate and looking back now i realize that i was never able to. The only thing that i could do was to quit drinking completely. My life is so much better now i'm sober. You will find lots of support here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 71
I can relate autumn. I don't drink every day, but when I do, I binge like no other. And I've tried here and there to moderate my drinking, but once I have a drink, I don't want to stop. I just want a little more, to get that high you are talking about. But, I realize that I can't always moderate, because I will always end up doing the same thing I always do... drink too much, act foolish, make bad (dangerous) decisions, ruin the next day (or two, or more). It's just not worth it even though this whol quitting thing is really scary.
I hope you figure out what will work for you. Like I've told any of my friends who have started AA, rehab, or whatever, getting sober is never a bad idea.
I hope you figure out what will work for you. Like I've told any of my friends who have started AA, rehab, or whatever, getting sober is never a bad idea.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by autumnofourtime 
Hi everyone,
I am 29 years old and I consider myself to have an alcohol problem.
I'm beginning to think that as much as I enjoy a wine with my food or a beer with the game I may never be able to learn moderation or stop the demon that forces me to keep going until I can't go any further.
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Cheers for listening,
I am 29 years old and I consider myself to have an alcohol problem.
I'm beginning to think that as much as I enjoy a wine with my food or a beer with the game I may never be able to learn moderation or stop the demon that forces me to keep going until I can't go any further.
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Cheers for listening,
Fancy it up as much as you want but postponing stopping is a dangerous game as shown by so many posts here showing the difficulties stopping, for a alcoholic there is no meaningful moderation that lasts. I and most who succeed had to get honest about their drinking to stare the journey into sobriety. BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Sounds like you are discovering what a lot of us have found out the hard way. Alcoholism is progressive.
Every drinking episode I have now sets me back 4 days in my life.
All my aspirations are marred by my dependency to keep putting myself through hell in the hope I'll feel like I am in heaven
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Yes.
Needing to clear your calendar for the next week in order to have a drink is a sure sign that alcohol has taken over your life.
Every drinking episode I have now sets me back 4 days in my life.
All my aspirations are marred by my dependency to keep putting myself through hell in the hope I'll feel like I am in heaven
Is this familiar to anyone else?
Yes.
Needing to clear your calendar for the next week in order to have a drink is a sure sign that alcohol has taken over your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere else
Posts: 395
Welcome! If there is anything I have learned about alcoholism is that it never, never gets better! It will continue to get worse until you lose everything you have and then still it may not be done. I tried and tried to make alcohol work again in my life and every time it did not take me down only one notch, but more like 10. It became more and more humiliating and my self control no longer existed in the drink or in my behavior. Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
I agree that the name doesn't matter...it's about what it is doing to your life and your health. I think I started to become an alcoholic at about age 20....but, being young, I bounced back pretty well...As the years went on though, it got harder and harder....I didn't get sober until I was in my late 30's (the first time). I have a lot of years of being sober, followed by years of relapsing. I am now 58...and, trust me, it does not get any easier or any better. You might want to think about stopping. For me, it was all or nothing. I have learned that I am a true alcoholic. I am unable to moderate for any length of time, before I start drinking too much all over again....4 days out of a week seems like a lot of time....just sayin'...something to think about.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome autumn! I'm glad you want to have this discussion. You could be saving yourself so much misery.
I started out the same way. I didn't have any real reason to numb myself, I just liked the feeling of euphoria & serenity that I got when I first discovered alcohol. In the early days it never occurred to me that I should give it up - I figured I just needed to use some willpower and be more careful. I refused to admit I had begun to drink alcoholically. In the end, the weekend drinking had turned into daily drinking - then 'round the clock drinking. I was completely dependent on it - and it was hell to straighten my life out. I won't bore you with details of the chaos and pain it caused. I wish I'd done what you're doing now - questioned my drinking habits and what they were doing to my life. We're happy to have you here with us.
I started out the same way. I didn't have any real reason to numb myself, I just liked the feeling of euphoria & serenity that I got when I first discovered alcohol. In the early days it never occurred to me that I should give it up - I figured I just needed to use some willpower and be more careful. I refused to admit I had begun to drink alcoholically. In the end, the weekend drinking had turned into daily drinking - then 'round the clock drinking. I was completely dependent on it - and it was hell to straighten my life out. I won't bore you with details of the chaos and pain it caused. I wish I'd done what you're doing now - questioned my drinking habits and what they were doing to my life. We're happy to have you here with us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
I don't believe you are born an alcoholic, It does not matter in terms of labels though. I believe you are born with certain genes that when exposed to the right environmental factors will produce addictive qualities. I also believe that is Bill Wilson wrote the Big Book today it would be title Addicts Anonymous too. So I don't think labels matter.
For me alcohol was the start. It allowed an escape. From age 16 till now (39) I only drank for the buzz. It started like you, as an athlete I would drink on the weekends, mostly beer with some shots mixed in. Later shots became more prevalent as it did the trick quicker. Then I moved to mixed drinks rum and coke. Then vodka with some wine mixed in. Later I was drinking every day 3-4L of Vodka per week. Then the booze was not enough of a high so coke and Ritalin after a few martinis - this was great bc I could also drink more than normally possible when mixing.
At the end, my worlds collided and it was not sustainable. I did not loose everything but it was clear I would and I was dead inside. Despite all that was obvious it took a couple months of being sober to finally stop dancing with the idea that I could drink again. This is bc my body adapted to drinking and removal of the drink made my life unmanageable.
I don't wish I had stopped in my 20s or 30s. I have no regrets actually. Did I leave money on the table in lost opportunities, perhaps. But I would not be who I am today without my experiences and I am sure great things are still to come.
We can only stop when we are ready. For me that was Aug 27, 2013. Keep asking questions, I find it the healthiest way to find what you are looking for - I am involved in AA - works for me.
For me alcohol was the start. It allowed an escape. From age 16 till now (39) I only drank for the buzz. It started like you, as an athlete I would drink on the weekends, mostly beer with some shots mixed in. Later shots became more prevalent as it did the trick quicker. Then I moved to mixed drinks rum and coke. Then vodka with some wine mixed in. Later I was drinking every day 3-4L of Vodka per week. Then the booze was not enough of a high so coke and Ritalin after a few martinis - this was great bc I could also drink more than normally possible when mixing.
At the end, my worlds collided and it was not sustainable. I did not loose everything but it was clear I would and I was dead inside. Despite all that was obvious it took a couple months of being sober to finally stop dancing with the idea that I could drink again. This is bc my body adapted to drinking and removal of the drink made my life unmanageable.
I don't wish I had stopped in my 20s or 30s. I have no regrets actually. Did I leave money on the table in lost opportunities, perhaps. But I would not be who I am today without my experiences and I am sure great things are still to come.
We can only stop when we are ready. For me that was Aug 27, 2013. Keep asking questions, I find it the healthiest way to find what you are looking for - I am involved in AA - works for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Hi. I hope you realize alcohol is not a health drink with all good consequences when consumed. It is detrimental to many parts of the body including the brain.
Fancy it up as much as you want but postponing stopping is a dangerous game as shown by so many posts here showing the difficulties stopping, for a alcoholic there is no meaningful moderation that lasts. I and most who succeed had to get honest about their drinking to stare the journey into sobriety. BE WELL
Fancy it up as much as you want but postponing stopping is a dangerous game as shown by so many posts here showing the difficulties stopping, for a alcoholic there is no meaningful moderation that lasts. I and most who succeed had to get honest about their drinking to stare the journey into sobriety. BE WELL
I appreciate the words everyone has chipped in.
I guess the hardest part is knowing that in the past I have comfortably enjoyed a single malt or a glass of red with a steak - but, after reading many others' missives on this site I can more than relate to the following 12 single malts, or the two bottles of red wine that so often proceeds.
I'm going to do 30 days off it and see how I can handle it.
Two days in and I'm still drenched in sweat and scattered.
Coupled with a healthy diet, do you think it's OK to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee while doing the 30 days?
Cheers, peers,
Autumn
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 345
i went from the guy buying rounds for all on my expense accountl, laughing, engaging, telling witty stories, to anxiously pounding beers by myself, sitting in my car, in a deserted parking lot, all in just a matter of a few years. its just not worth it.
autumn, u deserve a good life, it will not improve through "proper management"
i strongly encourage u, stay stopped
autumn, u deserve a good life, it will not improve through "proper management"
i strongly encourage u, stay stopped
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Jdooner, I, too am learning to accept my past without regrets....and I DO believe that what I have gone through makes me the person who I am today....Autumn, I drink lots of coffee (but can only handle it in the morning) and smoke. One vice at a time for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 377
Hello, and welcome to SR. I also started out as a weekend alcoholic, wouldn't touch alcohol during the week for a few years, then it gradually crept in to my every day life. Just know that there is another way and you DO NOT have to do this to yourself. You deserve better!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by autumnofourtime
How does everyone go when initially starting?
In the past I've told a bunch of people that I'm going to stop drinking and it never worked.
Thinking about keeping it to myself for a little bit.
In the past I've told a bunch of people that I'm going to stop drinking and it never worked.
Thinking about keeping it to myself for a little bit.
I'd do it differently now...
These days I think those closest to us have a right to know whats going on with us - but outside of them, it's up to you...A need to know basis is probably the wisest course....
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 17
Hi Autumnfourtime!
I can completely understand where you are coming from! It's a very vicious circle. It's the same with all drugs, you experience the high then you need to take more and more to get to that high again. I myself have now had enough and have decided to fight back.
Stay strong
I can completely understand where you are coming from! It's a very vicious circle. It's the same with all drugs, you experience the high then you need to take more and more to get to that high again. I myself have now had enough and have decided to fight back.
Stay strong
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