Not doing very well...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Not doing very well...
My 11 year old cat (Missy) died on Saturday morning. It was expected (she had been ill with kidney problems for over a year, and her health deteriorated really fast during the last 2 weeks).
Even though I have 3 other cats, all the pet lovers out there would know this is really hard. I had to close her eyes and put her in a box...and we will bury her in the next day or so (as soon as it stops raining).
I miss her.
I am very sad just as if a member of my human family had died.
And I want to drink really bad.
I feel like my stomach and rib cage just hurt so much every time I look at her favourite spots (couch, dining room table, kitchen window, bedroom bench).
I have "good moments"...like when I look at her photos and remember the good times and feel like we gave her the best possible life for a cat that we rescued out of a filthy barn...and some other moments are just too painful. When I remember the last few minutes of her life (I was there with her when she died). It just physically hurts.
Please tell me there's a way to cope with this without wine
Even though I have 3 other cats, all the pet lovers out there would know this is really hard. I had to close her eyes and put her in a box...and we will bury her in the next day or so (as soon as it stops raining).
I miss her.
I am very sad just as if a member of my human family had died.
And I want to drink really bad.
I feel like my stomach and rib cage just hurt so much every time I look at her favourite spots (couch, dining room table, kitchen window, bedroom bench).
I have "good moments"...like when I look at her photos and remember the good times and feel like we gave her the best possible life for a cat that we rescued out of a filthy barn...and some other moments are just too painful. When I remember the last few minutes of her life (I was there with her when she died). It just physically hurts.
Please tell me there's a way to cope with this without wine
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi patricia68.
I'm so sorry.
My two kitties -- litter mates -- Sophie and Pete, died eight months apart about six years ago. Yes, it's a big and painful loss. I got in a bit of trouble at work for taking time off after they passed. People who don't know and love animals just don't get it.
The hurt lasted a while, and I still feel pangs every now and again. I've always lived with cats and dogs. The worst thing about it is that we outlive them all.
What helped me was that the sense of loss told me that I can feel deeply and I can love deeply, not standard fare for the entire human race. But there is never anything that can replace the people and other living things that we lose.
All my best wishes.
I'm so sorry.
My two kitties -- litter mates -- Sophie and Pete, died eight months apart about six years ago. Yes, it's a big and painful loss. I got in a bit of trouble at work for taking time off after they passed. People who don't know and love animals just don't get it.
The hurt lasted a while, and I still feel pangs every now and again. I've always lived with cats and dogs. The worst thing about it is that we outlive them all.
What helped me was that the sense of loss told me that I can feel deeply and I can love deeply, not standard fare for the entire human race. But there is never anything that can replace the people and other living things that we lose.
All my best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,025
Patricia
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I know I would be so sad to lose my pet dog. My recommendation is that you try the practice of mindfulness. This is to accept your emotions, dont fight them and dont take action on them. You dont need to like the pain but simply accept it and breathe through them. Let it be. Try to be active and switch your focus onto something else. It could be as simple as cleaning the house, washing the clothes, doing the ironing, taking a walk. Whatever you do, my opinion is that it is better than to be still and let your mind ruminate !
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I know I would be so sad to lose my pet dog. My recommendation is that you try the practice of mindfulness. This is to accept your emotions, dont fight them and dont take action on them. You dont need to like the pain but simply accept it and breathe through them. Let it be. Try to be active and switch your focus onto something else. It could be as simple as cleaning the house, washing the clothes, doing the ironing, taking a walk. Whatever you do, my opinion is that it is better than to be still and let your mind ruminate !
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 109
Drinking will only temporarily take away or numb the pain. It's better to push through your feelings sober. It's better to experience feelings--whether it's sadness, anger or happiness--sober. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dog 7 months ago and still dream and think of her.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Patricia, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I love my pets deeply and I know how difficult it is to lose them. I have no great words of wisdom, other than what you already know, which is drinking wont fix anything, and will end up just making you feel worse. You can handle this sober. I just want to offer my heartfelt condolences.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I'm so sorry for your loss patricia.
The thing about alcohol and grief is...it never helps us deal with anything...we just stay in a holding pattern of pain.
Grief is painful and sad - but it's meant to be...we grieve we feel sad...and we get through it and move on.
we'll all be here for you
D
The thing about alcohol and grief is...it never helps us deal with anything...we just stay in a holding pattern of pain.
Grief is painful and sad - but it's meant to be...we grieve we feel sad...and we get through it and move on.
we'll all be here for you
D
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
Really sorry to hear about your loss Patricia I too, am an animal lover and what people don't realise is that they become like children to us. They're SO dependent on us for everything. I'm sure you gave Missy a wonderful life - stay sober and concentrate on spoiling the others to bits Drinking, will numb things, but not for long and then you'll have all the withdrawals and guilt to cope with.
Life can be SO unfair.
Hugs to you!! Xx
I too, am an animal lover and what people don't realise is that they become like children to us. They're SO dependent on us for everything. I'm sure you gave Missy a wonderful life - stay sober and concentrate on spoiling the others to bits Drinking, will numb things, but not for long and then you'll have all the withdrawals and guilt to cope with.Life can be SO unfair.
Hugs to you!! Xx
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