jlp02005

Stunned to find, in the medicine cabinet tonight, a cut off red straw with a white residue in a bend of it...I'm crushed. Do I confront? Ideas?

cynical one

I wouldn't confront, you're not going to get the truth anyways, and it might trigger an abusive response.

And, whatever he's doing, he's not very good at it. Only an amateur would use a bendy straw and risk losing quantity in the bends.

Skye2

Personally, I would say nothing, but move the straw to where he knows you've seen it

jlp02005

Sorry I wasn't very accurate in my description...it wasn't a bendy straw, but a straw used so often, it had vertical pressure creases from being squeezed or perhaps kept in a pocket. it was obviously something he's been carrying around for a while. Moving it is exactly what I did. I had no clue. What a shock. ):

Ruby2

Jlp, you wrote earlier asking if we were married to the same man. Woe betide us if they are the same. I would ask about the straw. Just show him what you found and ask him where it came from. I would not do it in a confrontational tone. merely ask. "Honey, look what i found. what is this?". If he hems and haws or gets defensive you have your answer.

God help you if he is an addict in addition to alcohol. My AH is an addict to crack in addition to alcohol. Ugly, ugly mess. And sad to say, through work, I am we'll able to tell the telltale signs of the drugs in the house. Little twists of plastic wrap, dented cans with holes poked in the top and residue and ash. Burned pieces of glass tubing. Sick, sick, sick. But no plastic straws because AH is not a powder cocaine user.

Peace be with you. I love that blessing.

Seren

It is such a kick in the stomach feeling, isn't it? A few months after my stepson had been through alcohol detox in a hospital (the first time), his sister found a glass crack pipe in his room.

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about your 'find'. Sending hugs and prayers.

HopefulinFLA

He really left it in the medicine cabinet? Did he think you wouldn't see this? Maybe he wants to be caught.

I think I would confront him, especially if there are children in the house. Don't need little ones finding this stuff and asking questions. They just don't need it.

I went through this with my RAH, found little tiny ziploc bags hidden in the bathroom one of which still had cocaine in it. I felt I was setting my boundaries. It's an illegal substance and I don't want it in my house, period! I have no control over what he does when he's away from home, but I will not live with drugs in my house, and it is MY house.

Recovering2

What's the point of confronting him? He knows he's using. You know he's using. Decide what your boundaries are. If it's not okay to use in your home, then you have to set a boundary and hold it. That's the hard part. I spent many wasted hours/days confronting my BF when he was using. Nothing he didn't already know. All that did was make me part of the problem in his eyes. I had to finally get to the point where I said enough, and start packing, to get the message across to him. Not saying that will work for you, but showing him what he already knows without consequence is pretty futile.