DoubleDragons

Having been a drinker since I was about 15 and this being my first attempt at sobriety in my early 40s, my friends have always been drinkers. I have always attracted party-type people into my life. My extended family are all big drinkers. I moved to a new state a couple of years ago and I deliberately stayed away from the party scene when I came here because, even then, I was wanting to make changes. However, I haven't done a great job making many friends at all. (I am one of those people who everyone who meets me thinks I am an extrovert because I am bubbly and gregarious. However, I am truly much more of an introvert, needing a lot of space and time to myself in relationships) So, any ideas? I am doing pretty well staying sober by reading this forum and reading a lot of books on alcoholism, so I am just not interested in AA at this time. I have a great relationship with my husband and he is not really feeling a need for extra social relationships, so I probably would be more interested in finding a group of women whom I could occasionally attend fun events with which wouldn't be centered around alcohol. Thanks in advance for your insights.

LadyBlue0527

Are there any book clubs in your area? This is implying that you like to read. I hear you on trying to find people.

Carlotta

I volunteer at the local food bank, I have met quite a few people through political activism too.
Volunteering is great because not only it s a good way to get out of ourselves and put our own problems in perspective but you also get to meet some really nice interesting people.
Also if there are things you like to do like hiking, or biking you should check out meetup.com

DoubleDragons

Thanks, Lady Blue. I did join a book club and I like it very much. Unfortunately, though, like other book clubs that I have belonged to, this one could also double as a "wine club."

Olive1

I am an introvert and if I had my way I would stay home all the time. But, I make myself get out into the world on occasion. I take continuing education classes at the community college. Art, photography, jewelry, what have you.
I meet lots of people at the dog park too.
There are "meet-up" groups online that you can connect with for like interests.

Anna

I volunteered at a Women's Drop-in Centre for many years and I met some of the best people I have ever known.

LadyBlue0527

UGH! Why must everything involve alcohol lol. Hey, there's a thought. Start a sober book club!

I can't even believe that I didn't mention volunteering. I am about to embark on this myself. I need to feel like I make a difference and helping others is a good way to do that. What you give comes back to you tenfold.

LDT

In some parts of the country ( U.S. ) there are actually "Sober Meet Up" groups. You can google. They aren't dating sights. As LadyBlue suggested, book clubs are great. So are gyms. I met a great group of gals through my Yoga class. I'm not in AA, so I am actively trying to expand my sober circle of friends. I've started volunteering in places that you won't likely find alcohol..... Like pumpkin patches, or craft fairs. .

LDT

Oops, posts crossed LadyBlue.....I think a sober book club is a great idea. ....I forgot to add that I am starting a Sunday afternoon "Music and desserts" event with some of my musician friends....we will get together to perform for and with each other. It is a B.Y.O.D. event....Bring your own dessert. No alcohol will be served.

freshstart57

Make a new activity your focus, and you will meet people who share the same interest. I like to sing, so I enjoy church or community choirs. Barbershop is another style where you can meet great folks. If what you are looking for is fellowship, don't discount AA for that purpose. I am sure you can find some great people there.

KristyCat

I know exactly how you feel with finding sober people! Or just people that aren't all about getting drunk on the weekends.

I go to AA now to meet people. I was scared though at first that they would all be super AA/religious/over-zealous people that I would not fit in with, but I realized they are just normal people, they're alcoholics like me, they struggle with the same things as I do. So far I haven't met anyone that was extremely pushy about their views on me or anything. Just throwing that out there, in case that was why you didn't want to go to AA.

BUT there are other ways to meet people, I love the volunteering idea. You could also look into doing a 5K or participate in benefits, bake sales, things where you would meet people who want to help others (surely that would not be centered on drinking).

ReadyAtLast

since getting sober I'm amazed at how many people DON't drink. I thought everyone drank

I'm an introvert too and love being alone. I realize some of that is I just have no idea how to really relate to people in a social setting when sober. But I'm learning and starting to enjoy it. That'snot to say you have to, there's nothing wrong with being alone but if you do want more social interaction I agree with all the great ideas above.

I do volunteer work too, have joined a local church group.gym and yoga are good ideas. If you have children maybe do some helping out at the local school/PTA. Walking groups? I 'd love to join a book club but have heard many are wine clubs really

LDT

Hey RAL, why not join or start a book club and meet in the morning over coffee? I was invited to join one of those.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks LDT,that's a really good idea.If anyone tried to turn it into a wine club I think that would be a sign of a serious problem