illiga

I've posted here a lot in the past. Myself and my family held an intervention for my dad because he was using drugs. After a while, he admitted to having a problem. We discovered very quickly he had a serious heroin addiction, and had been using for at least four years. He stole, lied, cheated, and did a lot of horrible things. We lost our house, his lost his job, and my parents split up, but he got clean. He went to a recovery house, and NA meetings many times throughout the week. I slowly gained my trust for him again.

He decided to move out of the province about 6 months ago for work. Since then I've barely talked to him, but my whole family and I are suspecting he is using again. He's been fired from two jobs since he's been there, and his ex boss subtly confirmed his addiction (without actually saying it, because that's illegal). Anyway, I can't help my dad because I did once. I just don't know how to deal with this feeling of helplessness. I'm so afraid of losing him. He's in a place where if something were to happen to him, we would have no idea. It's all I can think about lately and I just don't know what to do anymore.

interrupted

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. My sister is also a heroin addict. It's so hard to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing we can do to save them, or even make them save themselves.

He has worked his own recovery in the past, so he has the tools he needs if and when he is ready to try again. The only thing you can do is give him to God and work on your own health and happiness. It's not easy, and it might not seem like it now, but you can have a joyous and rewarding life regardless of whether your father chooses recovery. It might be worth looking into any local support groups (Al-anon, Nar-anon, ACoA) or ACoA-aware counselling if you haven't already. You're not alone in this, keep posting here - it really helps.

amber915

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My dad is an addict to and when he's using the family usually cuts ties with him until he gets clean for a little wile. I try to just be there for him. Let him know that I don't condone his behavior by any means but I love him and will no matter what. I offer to go to meetings with him if he wants and try to spend time with him when I can so he doesn't feel alone. I also used to go to alateen meetings when I was in high school. I don't know if what I did is an option for you because you said you don't really talk to him but I wanted you to know you're not alone and things will get better.(:

Kindeyes

It must be very hard to have an addicted parent. Sometimes the best thing we can do for those we love who are addicted is to get very healthy ourselves.....show them what it looks like.....and love them without letting their addiction take us hostage.

Have you thought about counseling or another means of support for yourself?

Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

pravchaw

With active addiction we have only two choices, accept our loved ones the way they are, or put some distance between us and them. They are not done, until they are done. It is a disease, we cannot wish it away.