Quick update (Day 3)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Quick update (Day 3)
Hi,
I just wanted to post a quick update. It feels weird to be on day 3 again after having had 50 days before.
This time it's a lot different though. No detox. No risk of DT's. I drank for one night and quit again.
My stomach did take a beating though. I'm still feeling pretty sick. But it's getting better. I expect to be back to full health some time next week.
I'm not very upset about the relapse. It happened, I know why it happened and learned from it and pretty soon I'm getting help. I am aware that there's a chance that in the meantime, until the mental help starts, I might drink again. But not much out of fear of ruining my stomach.
Right now I can't even think about drinking without getting nauseous. But that will pass. And I have come to realize that in order for me to have a truly stable basis for sobriety, I need to have help with the underlying emotional issues.
But I expect the help to start some time in the next few weeks. The diagnostic phase is done, now I need to get assigned a psychiatrist. I don't think that'll take long.
So I have to admit that I feel like I might drink a little bit every once in a while for the next few weeks. I hope not, but it's something I can accept. It's only a few weeks and once I'm face to face with my psychiatrist, it will be something I will discuss with her/him extensively.
Anyway, that's it for now. I'm going back to bed, get some rest.
Be well all!
J.
I just wanted to post a quick update. It feels weird to be on day 3 again after having had 50 days before.
This time it's a lot different though. No detox. No risk of DT's. I drank for one night and quit again.
My stomach did take a beating though. I'm still feeling pretty sick. But it's getting better. I expect to be back to full health some time next week.
I'm not very upset about the relapse. It happened, I know why it happened and learned from it and pretty soon I'm getting help. I am aware that there's a chance that in the meantime, until the mental help starts, I might drink again. But not much out of fear of ruining my stomach.
Right now I can't even think about drinking without getting nauseous. But that will pass. And I have come to realize that in order for me to have a truly stable basis for sobriety, I need to have help with the underlying emotional issues.
But I expect the help to start some time in the next few weeks. The diagnostic phase is done, now I need to get assigned a psychiatrist. I don't think that'll take long.
So I have to admit that I feel like I might drink a little bit every once in a while for the next few weeks. I hope not, but it's something I can accept. It's only a few weeks and once I'm face to face with my psychiatrist, it will be something I will discuss with her/him extensively.
Anyway, that's it for now. I'm going back to bed, get some rest.
Be well all!
J.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
It's good to see you, James.
But, your feelings about randomly drinking for the next few weeks are very scary. For me, when I was drinking, I had no control over the outcome. It's great that you are seeking support for the mental issues involved in stopping drinking, but in the meantime, why not be kind to yourself and stay sober?
But, your feelings about randomly drinking for the next few weeks are very scary. For me, when I was drinking, I had no control over the outcome. It's great that you are seeking support for the mental issues involved in stopping drinking, but in the meantime, why not be kind to yourself and stay sober?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by james872 
Hi,
So I have to admit that I feel like I might drink a little bit every once in a while for the next few weeks. I hope not, but it's something I can accept.
J.
So I have to admit that I feel like I might drink a little bit every once in a while for the next few weeks. I hope not, but it's something I can accept.
J.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
So I have to admit that I feel like I might drink a little bit every once in a while for the next few weeks.
You've discovered you have underlying issues - that a positive step.
A negative step would be to think 'I have these issues and until I get help I'm doomed to drink a little'.
That's AV nonsense.
You can bear a little discomfort James...you'll be fine.
Stay sober - no matter what
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Hi James...You can use the way you feel right now to your advantage. When you say you think of alcohol and it makes you nauseous, imagine if you could extend that feeling for the rest of your life. In other words, learn how to connect alcohol to a negative, rather than a positive feeling. I worked really hard on this, and it has helped me stay sober now for almost five years. I think about wine, and I literally feel sick, my stomach churns and my head starts to ache. I think it's called aversion therapy.
What I did was this: Whenever I craved a drink, I just immersed myself in the feelings of a bad, bad hangover, and the agony of withdrawal. I pushed myself to remember all of the worst of it. The shaking, the crazy jerking, the sour stomach, even the taste of vomit. My pounding head, the shame, the embarrassment. I got pretty good at doing this, by being vigilant about forcing myself into remembering the whole rotten experience.
It sounds kind of crazy, but it's really helped me! Now I equate taking a drink with any other really bad experience...the dentist, nails on a chalkboard, biting on aluminnum. Crazy, but effective, at least for me!
What I did was this: Whenever I craved a drink, I just immersed myself in the feelings of a bad, bad hangover, and the agony of withdrawal. I pushed myself to remember all of the worst of it. The shaking, the crazy jerking, the sour stomach, even the taste of vomit. My pounding head, the shame, the embarrassment. I got pretty good at doing this, by being vigilant about forcing myself into remembering the whole rotten experience.
It sounds kind of crazy, but it's really helped me! Now I equate taking a drink with any other really bad experience...the dentist, nails on a chalkboard, biting on aluminnum. Crazy, but effective, at least for me!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
These responses are very helpful. When I posted the original post, I was coming from a place of weakness. I believed that unless I have my mental problems under control, I will relapse anyway. So I figured I might as well accept that instead of fight against it.
Now that I look back at that reasoning it does not make sense at all. It's nonsense. There's no telling if I will relapse again. And accepting defeat instead of fighting, that is about the stupidest thing I made myself think.
So I'll stay sober.
Thanks for the wake-up call.
Now that I look back at that reasoning it does not make sense at all. It's nonsense. There's no telling if I will relapse again. And accepting defeat instead of fighting, that is about the stupidest thing I made myself think.
So I'll stay sober.
Thanks for the wake-up call.
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