JN18

Husband is gonna self detox for the 4th time. The first time I thought he had a bug ( I didn't know he was using opiates) and had to take my 1.5 yo and 4m old to a party solo (one I couldn't blow off) and a second time the same (went to his friends housewarming with both kids by myself), the third time a few months ago, this time I knew it was a detox- dealt with weed to help him sleep, the whole weekend with my kids alone, making excuses to his family why I was alone at church and running errands, with everyone looking for my husband so I make excuses. My kids are older now, 4 and 3, and I don't mind spending the time with them at all, never did. It's the excuses I have to give all the time to cover for him. It's the lying I have to do for him.

I love him. I don't want to see him sick like this. I am not comfortable lying to his parents or my family anymore! While he is doped up, closing his eyes out to dinner with friends and family, snoozing at red lights, I mean, it's worrisome!! And he just says, I had a long day. Meanwhile our mothers are both suggesting he get his blood sugar tested. I have to deal with that because they don't dare say anything to him, he's so defensive, not just to me.

I guess I can't say to him what I have to experience because his pain and discomfort is far more than mine??

Dee74

I don't think it's ever appropriate to lie for someone in those circumstances - his recovery (or lack of it) should be his responsibility not yours - I think he needs to be the one to make any announcements.

bi11fish

So don't lie for him--let him be responsible and answer the questions if not let (especially) your family know what you are dealing with.
On the detox issue this can be medically hazardous so be very careful!!!