Cadence

My AH wants to quit drinking, again. He went to detox in January and was sober for 6 months. He wants to quit drinking again, but is at the point where he is having moderate withdrawal symptoms- anxiety, sweats, tremors and vomiting. We think he had a seizure last year when he tried detoxing on his own, so he probably should have medical supervised detox.

I took to detox yesterday, but there were 30 people wanting to get in, but only 8 beds. They do triage to determine who gets a bed, he wasn't one of them. So we went home, he struggled with the withdrawal symptoms the rest of the day, and I got him some alcohol (I never buy him alcohol), just enough to ease the symptoms. We went to detox again this morning; there were about 25 people today and only 3 beds available. He didn't get in again. I told him we are going to go every day until he gets in, and I don't want to buy him any more alcohol.

Now he has gone about 12 hours without alcohol, and the withdrawal symptoms are starting to hit hard. I called the health link line to find out what I can do, what to watch for in case he needs imminent medical attention. However, I have stuff to do today. I have to pick my daughter up from her friend's house (30 minute drive) and we have to go shopping for a new desk for school. This needs to be done today. I don't want to leave him alone in case he has a medical emergency, but I don't really want to buy him alcohol (unless I have to) to hold off the symptoms until he can get into detox. What do I do??

Is there anything non-alcoholic that I can get him to help? He really wants alcohol but he is asking about gravol. Would that help?

honeypig

Cadence, I don't know that you're going to get too many replies here--there is a statement at the top of the Newcomers' Forum asking that people not request or give medical advice (for obvious reasons).

I don't have firsthand experience w/detox, but from reading here, I understand that it can be a lifethreatening situation. I see you're in Canada, so I'm not familiar w/what resources you might be able to use, but the only advice I would give you would be to find some kind of medical care and NOT attempt this at home on your own.

Hope someone who has something more concrete to offer shows up soon.

Raider

My opinion is it is too dangerous to detox alone. People have died doing it. Go see a doctor, they can determine if this is something he can do alone. They can help him.

Cadence

Thanks for your response.

I guess that sort of answers my question. I guess I was really asking if he should continue drinking until he can get into detox. If I have to buy him alcohol, so be it. If I don't buy it for him, as he is in no condition to buy it himself, I am forcing him to do detox at home when he really needs medical detox.

I am trying to talk him into letting me take him to the hospital.

I just talked him and told him that I can take him to

Cadence

Thank you. I am trying to talk him to go to the hospital, and if not, I will go get what he needs and try to get him into detox again tomorrow.

thislonelygirl

My ah has detoxed at home in the past. Just did going on about a week which included him being irritable sweating puking shaking and having vivid dreams. It was like the super flu.
Atleast hes feeling better than that now.
My ah has made that decision to get sober now and in the past even if it means doing it at home.
It is dangerous expecially if hes had a seizure in the past .
I would suggest maybe him speaking to a dr to give some medical advice while doing this?
If possible atleast a dr can prescribe him anything to help (beats playing dr and doing a detox with alcohol as the medication to ease detox) And it will help with the whole process in general.
Ive taken care of ah whild he has, making soup, bucket at bed, keeping him hydrated, checking on him and anything else but I let ah make the decision abd guide his body so I think its good you did get him alcohol when worse came to worse.

BoxinRotz

I don't know what else there is but trying an ER or taking him to detox every morning to try n get in.

It's a very tough decision to buy alcohol for them to keep the withdrawal symptoms away. I hope that if he can get in n get the help he needs that he will stick to it n not go back!

The fact that he needs constant watch because he has no alcohol n could sieze is not fair to you in so many ways. It's like babysitting King Baby. Just unfair for you n the kids on so many levels.

thislonelygirl

I wanted to add that my ah did this without drs help but ive always kept him open and pushed him to medical help. Not advised.
I would be safe rather than sorry so if your hubs will go then itll help both of you

Cadence

Thank you. He doesn't have his own doctor, so we can't get medical advice that way. He doesn't want to go to the hospital right now - I just checked the ER wait times and it is over a 3 hour wait at the hospital closest to us. I am heading to the store to get him something to drink in the meantime.

Cadence

Yes! I just told him that I can't hang out babysitting him. He just asked if are going to detox tomorrow - we are.

BoxinRotz

Get him some Gatorade. Also, if he can stomach food, get him some bananas. Other than that, I guess the only thing to do is wait it out. The detox won't last forever. My AH has done it before. His worst was in April. He was a soaking wet pig, going between hot n cold spells. Throwing up every time he drank liquid n just plain SICK! I would liken it to the worst flu ever! He never seized though. He actually wanted soda because of the sugar in it. Alcohol converts to sugar in the body but the pop also dehydrates the body if he could keep it down. His urine stank! It was almost brown! No lie. If you want to do anything, get him Gatorade while you're out shopping for the kids.

dandylion

Cadence--please check your private messages. I have sent you one. Look at the top right hand side of this page.

dandylion

Ann

Detoxing is a very dangerous time for any alcoholic and the ONLY good advice is to get medical help and his doctor's advice.

At least call Detox and/or the hospital and proceed under their instructions.

AllThings

My AH has de-toxed at home and in medical institutions before. It can be done, but IMHO, it is not safe. He needs meds and supervision, detox can kill, though I'm not sure how likely it is...

Cadence

Hi everyone, thank you all for your input. I did buy him alcohol this afternoon and again tonight.

I am taking him in to detox again tomorrow. I am dropping him off at 7:30 am in the morning before I take my daughter to school at 8 am. We will know by 9 am if he gets a bed. I hope he gets in this time - 3x's the charm I hope. This can't go on all week. He has surely lost his job already, and I can't afford to buy $30 worth of alcohol a day to keep the withdrawal symptoms at bay.

Cadence

He got into detox today! What a load of stress off me. Since last Thursday, I have had a brutal headache and tons of tension in my upper back and shoulders - almost as soon as they called his name once they had done triage, it all disappeared!

Recovering2

YAY!!!! Now take a little time and do something nice for yourself. Maybe a hot bath, read a book, take a walk, get a pedicure. Can you get a massage?

Hoping your husband does well and finds recovery.

BoxinRotz

I hope he takes this opportunity and does well post detox!

There is nothing worse than going through all that for someone to come out and do it all again!

Cadence

thanks! a massage would be awesome, but I think I will take a hot bath before bed tonight.

Cadence

I hope he does too. He knows he needs to follow up post detox. I will be looking into some resources this week. This is his 3rd detox in 15 months. He didn't follow up with treatment/support the last 2 times. He knows that if he does not follow up and does not stay sober, I am at the point that there may be no next time for me. I have been dealing with his drinking for about 15 years or so, and since it escalated over the last 3 years, it has become too much stress on the whole family.

Our 22 yr old son has schizophrenia, and I am sure glad he has been visiting his aunt the last 2 weeks since his dad crashed with the drinking, otherwise the stress may have flared up his illness and landing him in the hospital again. And our daughter just started junior high and it is affecting her ability to do well in school (she just started late French immersion) and she has developed an anxiety disorder with OCD tendencies (which has gotten worse since her dad started drinking again) that we are seeking treatment for - she starts counselling next week.

I am thinking about going to alanon again. I just up to see if there is an alateen meeting that my daughter can attend, but there is only 1 and it's across the city and on the only night my daughter has lessons. Is there something else she can do?