Kys

Friend asked me to go for one drink last night as the warm wind hit my face and the sun was going down. Seemed like it would be conforting, i quickly gave in. We did have the one drink then we both went our separate ways home.

I picked up a few more beers on the way home, like I didn't even think about it, though I thought I'd just have one or two more. I drank the lot and then bought a few more later in the evening.


I am back though. Last night was an ugly reminder. Given I can't really have just the one it means it's going to turn into a blinder... life comes undone, I become unhappy and anxious etc.

And so I can't drink. I want the things that drinking will only take away from me and won't allow me to have.

Flying4Life

Glad to see you back Kys! Just keep moving forward.

ACT10Npack

Sorry to hear that. Have you ever told your friend that you cant drink because your problem? Would help you not get people ask you to drink with them.

silentrun

Glad to see you decided to post about it rather than let it turn into a relapse. It seems it's been a hard week for a lot of us.

Kys

Thanks guys.

Wasn't a close friend, more an acquaintance. The invite for a drink was just the vehicle I used to get a drink really. So it was all on me.

mytimeforchange

i remember acting like a normal drinker...one, two beers at the bar or company outing- if that is normal. I found myself more in a hurry to leave to go home to buy more beer and get hammered, alone! Welcome.

Kys

Yeah I jumped straight on here, I'm not going to let this turn into a month long bender like I have in the past and so many times.

Not sure if I explained it very well in my post but I recall something Dee once said that applies to me to (maybe many of us). Given my relationship with alcohol I can either get absolutely wasted and thus all the horrible fallout happens, or not drink and enjoy the happiness life simply affords.

Sure I haven't said it as well, but you get the point.

Kys

I hear you on that.

Anna

It's so good that you acknowledge your part in the drinking. And, for sure there are many changes in early recovery. I'm glad you're back.

advbike

Dude, that's totally me. I'm very sensitive to my environment and want to "celebrate" nature's beauty, a special place, or even just a really fine day. The last drinks I had were when I got up to my place in the mountains and there was a summer thunderstorm and the smell of sage in the air... it was awesome. I didn't even hesitate but drove to a mini mart and got a couple beers, plus a bottle of wine. Of course I planned the wine to last the entire weekend. Well, I got to my place and by then the sun was starting to set and it was really spectacular. I drank the beers while I was literally "drinking it all in", then started on the wine. It was all gone by the time the sun was all the way down. Oops. Wow. Total emotional response.

The next day I quit. That was a month ago. I realize I have to learn to experience these emotions without it. And I can. A lot of it is reflexive. It's good to know your triggers.

Good luck on it and good move to go right back on the wagon - it makes it a lot easier.

EndGameNYC

Great that you came back here so quickly, Kys.

Millions of others have done what you did, and many of them never came back. It took me three years of misery following my relapse to finally get sober.

When I'm drinking, I think a lot more about what alcohol does for me, instead of what it does to me.

dwtbd

Glad you didn't let the set back start a precedent. Thx for sharing, and especially what Dee said.

gatorgirl67

Glad you're back Kys!!

Kys

Great messages guys, and I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me!

Will be on SR most of the day and night (I have today off). Will definitely sign in before I head to bed letting all know I'm about to enjoy a sober sleep. I'm thankful that I'm usually a good sleeper as I know for some it's not always pleasant early days.

Sober sleep, love it. After sleeping drunk for so long, sober sleep is something I adore. Can't believe it's free ha.

actorchris

Im with you bro. I slipped this weekend after 2 years sober. AA has just not been working for me cause of some other difficulties I think, but like you I really want to stay sober and not turn into a longer affair. So I found this site today and I've been really trying to plug in and make a centerpiece in my life and recovery. You're not alone bud, and I'm grateful for your share. -Chris

ImperfectlyMe

"A" for accountability

lorelei

So good to see you back on board kys x

CuteNGayYay

Glad you're back!

hayley86

Glad you are back here and posting so quickly. Its good that you didn't use this slip as an excuse to carry on drinking. Wishing you well.

Mountainmanbob

you are figuring it out
that's what is important
the drink just don't work for us drunks
took me a few outings back to my sickness of mind and soul
before I made a true decision to stop drinking for good

the pain caused to myself and the ones around me while I was drinking
just plain became overwhelming

welcome back to the road to recovery

Mountainman