Encouragement
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Orlando
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Encouragement
Need some encouragement....he is trying to make me feel like I am not sticking by him. If I hear "good times and bad" one more time I may blow. I have to admit it is getting to me but I know I have to keep focused. Falling in this trap has never led me anywhere good. 
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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I was feeling pretty guilty recently after refusing to loan my sister money to go to rehab, and another poster reminded me how our addicts often put us in a FOG (using Fear, Obligation, and Guilt) to keep us stuck in our codependency. I liked this little phrase!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
It's hard not to get drawn into arguments when an addict is desperate and trying to push your buttons, but it's so important to me to try to remain loving toward my sister. I find myself repeating myself a lot, telling her how confident I feel that she can find the best path for herself, or just ending the conversation if it's clearly going nowhere.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Orlando
Posts: 36
Today he called out sick from work because his back hurt. He is living at his parents. His mother doesn't realize how much of an impact she has over him. By nature, she believes anything he says. So, like I said he claims he has no been doing drugs only subs off the street. I know it's a lie. I thought she did too. She said his boss was angry (they work at the same place). She said "we'll he hurt it doing his side work over weekend". At which time I replied "think about it." Maybe it hurts cuz he's not doing the oxy. She got really defensive. Sadly, I always feel like the villain.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
It sounds like he has found himself a new enabler! Maybe in a way that's a relief? Not your job anymore! 
I can understand why you're angry! I guess for me I had to try to let go of the anger eventually for myself, because it fed my guilt. (And I haven't totally gotten rid of it, it still crops up often!) But I suspect that if you maintain the new boundaries you have set, you will work through some of the more intense emotions and eventually feel a little more peaceful about everything.
I can understand why you're angry! I guess for me I had to try to let go of the anger eventually for myself, because it fed my guilt. (And I haven't totally gotten rid of it, it still crops up often!) But I suspect that if you maintain the new boundaries you have set, you will work through some of the more intense emotions and eventually feel a little more peaceful about everything.
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