1st Friday, Friday 13th
1st Friday, Friday 13th
Tonight will day 6 being sober, but I believe the hardest day, Friday! Friday and Saturday and Football! Who doesn't want to sit with a cold glass from the tap and some chicken wings, watching the game!!!! I am grateful my son doesn't go to his Dad's this weekend because I feel I may fall. My boyfriend is out of town and it would be so easy for me to just drink after my son goes to sleep then throw the evidence away and no one would know. These thoughts have been running through my head all day. I am scared I may fall into them. I know if I don't go to the store before my son goes to sleep then I will be safe. I know if I go to the store before he goes to sleep I will fall. It would be so easy. I have other family that live about 30miles away but they drink. I have a couple of friends and they drink. I also have a friend that's been texting me all day wanting me to go to a bar tomorrow night and says her daughter can watch my son. I can't bring myself to even text her back. It is these actions happening that really let me know, I DO HAVE A PROBLEM!!! Even if I don't go to the store tonight and buy that alcohol, I know that doesn't mean I am cured. The fact that I am fighting with ME about even going to the store, ignoring that friend, the ways I can hide it. Everything speaks for itself and sometimes putting it in words and actually seeing my thoughts help me to see what I think and the outcomes are always the same when I give into that temptation. Well, everyone have a great Friday. I will be back tonight after my son goes to sleep and pray it will be sober!!!!
Hope it worked out for you. The first few weeks is the most raw, and those first weekends can be really hard.
Reading about AVRT and the inner voice of addiction may help, it helped me. In time all the ideas of drinking fade away, and believe me it becomes a much less attractive option. I watched the football last night here in Australia- I enjoyed it.
Over time I learned that I could only watch TV when I was either sedated with alcohol or it was something I am REALLY interested in. Now I am sober I have other things to occupy my spare time that engages me more than the TV. Being sober and trying to watch something I ma not really interested in makes me restless.
Reading about AVRT and the inner voice of addiction may help, it helped me. In time all the ideas of drinking fade away, and believe me it becomes a much less attractive option. I watched the football last night here in Australia- I enjoyed it.
Over time I learned that I could only watch TV when I was either sedated with alcohol or it was something I am REALLY interested in. Now I am sober I have other things to occupy my spare time that engages me more than the TV. Being sober and trying to watch something I ma not really interested in makes me restless.
Hope it worked out for you. The first few weeks is the most raw, and those first weekends can be really hard.
Reading about AVRT and the inner voice of addiction may help, it helped me. In time all the ideas of drinking fade away, and believe me it becomes a much less attractive option. I watched the football last night here in Australia- I enjoyed it.
Over time I learned that I could only watch TV when I was either sedated with alcohol or it was something I am REALLY interested in. Now I am sober I have other things to occupy my spare time that engages me more than the TV. Being sober and trying to watch something I ma not really interested in makes me restless.
Reading about AVRT and the inner voice of addiction may help, it helped me. In time all the ideas of drinking fade away, and believe me it becomes a much less attractive option. I watched the football last night here in Australia- I enjoyed it.
Over time I learned that I could only watch TV when I was either sedated with alcohol or it was something I am REALLY interested in. Now I am sober I have other things to occupy my spare time that engages me more than the TV. Being sober and trying to watch something I ma not really interested in makes me restless.
I DID IT! I made it through my first Friday night! Today has been a day of watching my nephew play football and enjoying time with my son. Had I drank lastnight I would have spent the day in my home and never ventured out and lasted through the hot day in the sun with alcohol in my system. I thank God and all of you for your encouraging words!!!! I have memories made from today because of the alcohol I didn't drink last night. Praise The Lord!
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