Feel like I'm going backwards
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Feel like I'm going backwards
Hi all,
I'm about 75 days sober and have been feeling really weird the past 2 days. My patience is shot, I feel frustrated and always at the end of my rope with my family. Today I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or something, so maybe that's all it is, but it feels mental too... I feel over-emotional sometimes (mostly negative emotions: anger, anxiety), and other times, I feel under-emotional - like I'm cold towards my kids when they get a scraped knee - like my empathy is out of whack. I was crying 2 nights ago over the 911 Nova special, but I feel really cold other times.
I wonder if this is normal at a few months sober... is my mind still adjusting? I feel like it's been coming to a peak for a few weeks now.
I'm about 75 days sober and have been feeling really weird the past 2 days. My patience is shot, I feel frustrated and always at the end of my rope with my family. Today I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or something, so maybe that's all it is, but it feels mental too... I feel over-emotional sometimes (mostly negative emotions: anger, anxiety), and other times, I feel under-emotional - like I'm cold towards my kids when they get a scraped knee - like my empathy is out of whack. I was crying 2 nights ago over the 911 Nova special, but I feel really cold other times.
I wonder if this is normal at a few months sober... is my mind still adjusting? I feel like it's been coming to a peak for a few weeks now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Hi Bebetter,
75 days is great!!!
Maybe this will help you understand what you're going through.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...periences.html
75 days is great!!!
Maybe this will help you understand what you're going through.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...periences.html
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hiya, bebetter. I agree with least...PAWS.
I have had a lot of those same feelings in my recovery. Insomnia, irritability. Up and down. Overly emotional and sensitive. As a matter of fact, at this time, I'm distant and confused. I have to remind myself that this is a temporary phase and try to ride it out. I did explain it the best I could to my H, so he wouldn't take it personally. I hope he doesn't. Talk to H about it. And just take some time in your own space for now. Sometimes, recovery can be exhausting.
I'll be thinking of you!
Joy
I have had a lot of those same feelings in my recovery. Insomnia, irritability. Up and down. Overly emotional and sensitive. As a matter of fact, at this time, I'm distant and confused. I have to remind myself that this is a temporary phase and try to ride it out. I did explain it the best I could to my H, so he wouldn't take it personally. I hope he doesn't. Talk to H about it. And just take some time in your own space for now. Sometimes, recovery can be exhausting.
I'll be thinking of you!
Joy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Congratulations on your 75 days sober.
It does take awhile to learn how to manage emotions and how to deal with things. Try to be patient with yourself and be very proud of how far you've come.
It does take awhile to learn how to manage emotions and how to deal with things. Try to be patient with yourself and be very proud of how far you've come.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Thanks for the link on PAWS - will read it when the girls leave me alone for a few minutes. Thanks for reassuring me that this is normal and will pass and I'm not a psycho...
I picked a bunch of carrots, and my 4 year old woke up the baby, so I had to leave them outside. The dog started eating them, and when I got out there to see it, I yelled "STOP EATING THE F***ING CARROTS!" My 4 year old came to the door and said "Who's eating the bucky carrots?" Smile....
I picked a bunch of carrots, and my 4 year old woke up the baby, so I had to leave them outside. The dog started eating them, and when I got out there to see it, I yelled "STOP EATING THE F***ING CARROTS!" My 4 year old came to the door and said "Who's eating the bucky carrots?" Smile....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 303
Sometimes I think it's worth remembering that people who don't drink also experience emotions that are all over the place. I have friends IRL and on-line who blog/journal and talk about things that are going on in their lives and they too are all over the place (and so far as I know they don't drink or drug). Maybe the expectation that once we're sober we can suddenly handle everything and that we'll emotionally be on an even-keel is wrong?
You should definitely be proud and not give yourself a hard time. x
You should definitely be proud and not give yourself a hard time. x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 321
I'm coming up on 8 months and I have gone through it as well, for me it's been depression, irritability, discontent, anger, sadness, joy, serenity, happiness, belonging... etc
And yes, I included the positive on purpose. My brain feels those just as strongly as the negative emotions. I've had moments of complete happiness and bliss for no reason at all. Maybe that's PAWS, maybe it's a gift from my HP, maybe I'm still insane xD.
I agree that this is human. PAWS makes us feel more human imo. I'm not going through anything I wouldn't be going through if I had never used or drank, it's just stronger right now. And as the saying goes, this too shall pass
And yes, I included the positive on purpose. My brain feels those just as strongly as the negative emotions. I've had moments of complete happiness and bliss for no reason at all. Maybe that's PAWS, maybe it's a gift from my HP, maybe I'm still insane xD.
I agree that this is human. PAWS makes us feel more human imo. I'm not going through anything I wouldn't be going through if I had never used or drank, it's just stronger right now. And as the saying goes, this too shall pass
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Ahhhhh. from the mouths of babes...
Hang in there buddy. It's just your brain rewiring and resetting.
Last week I had a complete mental breakdown whilst taking my elderly mother to the doctor. I'm talking threw myself in the wet grass in front of the hospital and just lost my sh*t. Screaming to my BFF on the phone "I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE". And I f*cking MEANT IT.
Then when I finally got home my contractor (we are gutting a bathroom) needed me to go immediately and pick out lighting and I all but flung myself into oncoming traffic.
A doctors apt and lighting and I was thisclose to a psychotic break.
Good news is it passed.
But here is where it gets really crazy...
So later this week I went to see my therapist (hypnotherapist) and told her of my fragile mental state. She smiled at me and said "GOOD JOB !! ".
I'm all, ummmm. WTF ??? I telling you I'm bat sh*t crazy and you are congratulating me ? She was ecstatic.
She said "Honey, if you were in India right now, they would put a robe on you and call you a Guru. But because we are in Western society, they will call you crazy and attempt to medicate the brilliance right out of you. Keep letting go until there is nothing left."
So there you go.
XO AO
Hang in there buddy. It's just your brain rewiring and resetting.
Last week I had a complete mental breakdown whilst taking my elderly mother to the doctor. I'm talking threw myself in the wet grass in front of the hospital and just lost my sh*t. Screaming to my BFF on the phone "I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE". And I f*cking MEANT IT.
Then when I finally got home my contractor (we are gutting a bathroom) needed me to go immediately and pick out lighting and I all but flung myself into oncoming traffic.
A doctors apt and lighting and I was thisclose to a psychotic break.
Good news is it passed.
But here is where it gets really crazy...
So later this week I went to see my therapist (hypnotherapist) and told her of my fragile mental state. She smiled at me and said "GOOD JOB !! ".
I'm all, ummmm. WTF ??? I telling you I'm bat sh*t crazy and you are congratulating me ? She was ecstatic.
She said "Honey, if you were in India right now, they would put a robe on you and call you a Guru. But because we are in Western society, they will call you crazy and attempt to medicate the brilliance right out of you. Keep letting go until there is nothing left."
So there you go.
XO AO
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 9
Congratulations on your proud time! And thanks for sharing about what you're going through. It's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in having big emotional swings, and to remember that yes, it's harder early in recovery.
The PAWS stuff people mention above is spot on, and I'd like to add just a couple things.
As I watch my friends raise their kids (none of my own, but I'm in my early 30s, so it goes with the territory), I increasingly realize that a lot of what kids have to learn is emotional self-management. Humans are pretty emotional critters (a lot of us are, anyway), and we spend the first few decades of our lives figuring out how to deal with that. Some of us get better tools than others to start with, and when we numb out with drugs/alcohol for a long time, especially if we start in the first few decades of life, we don't learn some of those skills. So in sobriety we get to start where we left off, which often wasn't a very experienced place. In addition, our brains and bodies are rewiring themselves for their own sense of balance, and that makes our emotions extra strong (hence the PAWS stuff). Our brains are literally out of balance, plus we haven't got the best coping skills yet.
In recovery, your brain and body will find balance, and you'll learn some ways to deal with your emotions better. In fact, it seems like you probably have already learned some. Just coming here to talk about what's going on instead of using/drinking is a skill you probably weren't using before (or at least not consistently) when you were using/drinking. So that's progress. Be proud of yourself for what you have already (75 days is a long time for an addict!). The rest will come.
And thanks for sharing about what you're going through. It's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in having big emotional swings, and to remember that yes, it's harder early in recovery.The PAWS stuff people mention above is spot on, and I'd like to add just a couple things.
As I watch my friends raise their kids (none of my own, but I'm in my early 30s, so it goes with the territory), I increasingly realize that a lot of what kids have to learn is emotional self-management. Humans are pretty emotional critters (a lot of us are, anyway), and we spend the first few decades of our lives figuring out how to deal with that. Some of us get better tools than others to start with, and when we numb out with drugs/alcohol for a long time, especially if we start in the first few decades of life, we don't learn some of those skills. So in sobriety we get to start where we left off, which often wasn't a very experienced place. In addition, our brains and bodies are rewiring themselves for their own sense of balance, and that makes our emotions extra strong (hence the PAWS stuff). Our brains are literally out of balance, plus we haven't got the best coping skills yet.
In recovery, your brain and body will find balance, and you'll learn some ways to deal with your emotions better. In fact, it seems like you probably have already learned some. Just coming here to talk about what's going on instead of using/drinking is a skill you probably weren't using before (or at least not consistently) when you were using/drinking. So that's progress. Be proud of yourself for what you have already (75 days is a long time for an addict!). The rest will come.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Pandorable - I started drinking too much when I was 20, and I really agree with you about emotional maturity. I also feel like my social ease has been set back to my teenage years because I never let myself grow - I used alcohol during the time when all that stuff in my head could have been maturing.
We have a get together to go to tonight at the neighbors. It's the last place I got totally smashed (it was a girls night - no kids), and the next morning, I began my sobriety. I sent my family ahead without me so I could gather myself together. I'm not looking forward to going, but I know it will be okay. I'm going to take this time that I have alone and just be for a few moments, so I'm ready to take on the evening with calm in my head.
We have a get together to go to tonight at the neighbors. It's the last place I got totally smashed (it was a girls night - no kids), and the next morning, I began my sobriety. I sent my family ahead without me so I could gather myself together. I'm not looking forward to going, but I know it will be okay. I'm going to take this time that I have alone and just be for a few moments, so I'm ready to take on the evening with calm in my head.
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