GoingAlone2

I talked to him. I really tried. He acted like he understood & really got it. I laid it all out. I even told him, I felt like our marriage is worth fighting for & I owed it to our marriage to tell him the problems before I consulted an attorney. He stopped drinking for 2 nights. 2 NIGHTS!!! I tried to keep the kids calm & support him during those nights bc I figured he was detoxing. He seemed ok though. Then night 3, I could see the "I have to get some beer" anxiety. He said he was having one while he finished reading a book. He had 6 15oz. beers instead & drank again last night. Back to F'n square one. This is going to be one big pain in the ass, but he doesn't see his problem & he's not going to change. I see the writing on the wall. Time to start working on the logistics of leaving. I'm a stay at home mom who helps with the family business. Damn... Why did no-one ever tell me as a young girl, never date/marry anyone who has ever had any kind of issue with alcohol?

dandylion

Would you have listened??

dandylion

SparkleKitty

I applaud you for giving him the chance to show you where he's really at right now, and I doubly applaud you for accepting it. It will not be easy. Ask for help, take care of yourself, keep your eyes open. Rooting for you.

Hammer

Close, really, really close. Good for you.

But instead of "square one," we call it Step 1, and usually leave the f' part off, but I am good with that, too.

For him, it looks like this:

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

For you/us, it looks like this:

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

How about that, huh? You are both in the same place, same time. Not so bad.

Considering where this path leads, you have a pretty good path ahead of you, if you choose to follow it. If you choose to follow it, does not mean he will also or will not. However, one statement I have found to be true is that your household can be 50% better if we choose it, whether he stops drinking or not.

So. Ready to lace up your boots and start stepping?

Longest journey begins with the first step.

lizw

One of the hardest things I find hard to accept in life is when other people let me down. I tend to feel like I have been 'sucked in' or something to that affect because my default reaction is to believe it is all about me.

His inability to follow through is about his alcoholism and nothing to do with you. There's also no doubt in my mind that he means what he says, that is one of the baffling things about alcoholism. And he will be aware of it to some extent but probably quite confused as to why he has it.