Charmed3

I was here 7 years ago. I thought things had changed. AH had some set backs during the last 7 years, but would usually be resolved after a few days. Two month ago he started in again, but I knew instantly that this wasn't one of those, he'll stop on his own. The same angry, defiant person was back and I recognized him right away.

I will admit to sliding back in to that co-dependent behavior many times. Excusing, covering up and helping him to avoid the consequences. I do indeed feel like a fool!

I was out of our home! I was almost free! And then I let him convince me that our marriage was worth saving, that he was done drinking and we needed to give our marriage a 2nd chance. I believed him when he promised if he went down this road again - he would leave and let me stay in the house.

The lies, manipulation and broken promises are just like before and I am left wondering WTH am I going to do.

Things have changed in 7 years, I have some serious medical problems and not sure how much longer I can continue working full time - if at all.

He refuses to leave the house, threatening to quit his job, take his 401k, let the house go into foreclosure and leave me with nothing.

He has a family full of A's standing ready to harass me again until I can't take it, pack my stuff and leave. Last time I surprised him and had a group of people move me and my belongings in 6 hours. This time he is prepared and will not let any of my family and friends in the house. Last time he let the house get 3 months behind, I moved back in time to help him save it.

My dear sweet mother passed away 3 years ago, I used to just go over to her house to get some peace and now I have no one living near by. He has convinced many people last time I was crazy - so I did try to let them know this time, but I am thinking they don't think he is as bad as I say. Easy to judge when you don't see what's going on behind closed doors.

I have packed and removed my sentimental belongings but there is no way I am going to be able to get much more out.

I saw an attorney today, he thinks I should leave and file for court orders for him to pay the mortgage and not liquidate any assets. If he doesn't keep the mortgage up I can ask the court to remove him, catch up the payments and move back in. The attorney said most company's will consider a court order not to liquidate 401k's but there is no guarantee they will not because they might consider it a problem between he and I and not their problem.

I am just really sick right now. Firm in the fact that this time it is over but terribly scared and worried about my future.

firebolt

I'm so sorry. Can you talk to a couple other attorneys for other opinions? What about selling the house? Hang in there - no one should have to go through all that. I hope you have some good friends and activities to give you some peace. (((HUG)))

Florence

There is no guarantee, but the court will take it into consideration if he liquidates his 401K against their orders. You may not get the 401K money, but you will be compensated.

P.S. CONGRATULATIONS on getting out. xx