Today was a very trying day...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Today was a very trying day...
Dear SR: This post is actually written by me and for me. I feel it is important for me to write this day down in case I need to remember it in the future...
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It started out as a very nice morning ... met a friend at a local coffee shop around 11:00 am.
She is looking for retail space to open a new business. I am in real estate so I said I would help her. We strolled around the busy Italian section of my town for a bit looking for potential store fronts. At the end of our stroll, a very good friend suddenly called out my name. I turned, and there he was, smiling and waving at me!!
It was so great to see him! He was finishing up lunch at a very quaint Italian restaurant and enjoying a nice glass of red wine. He invited us to sit down and chat for a while.
I was thrilled to see him!! Plus, it was a beautiful day! All the windows in this restaurant were open and there was such a wonderful cross-breeze. The flowers in the flower boxes, which lined all the windows, danced in the warm summer sun and gentle breeze.
What a great day and wonderful surprise to see him!!! Right??
For the first 5 minutes and until the waitress was able to visit our table, I stared at his glass of red wine. It smelled so good.
Plus, it was such a beautiful day... And I was really not planning on bumping into my friend ... And, did I mentioned, his glass of red wine smelled so good?? It was also the perfect shade of red to boot!!
I sat there for 5 minutes salivating like a rabic dog... What to do??? What to do???
I decided to take a moment and think about what I most likely would do if I had that one glass of wine.
---
History has proven, time and time again, that most likely, if I had that one glass of wine, then I will pick up a full bottle on my way home. Why? Today was such a special day... How many days are like this? Truly a very special day!!
I will then proceed to consume the entire bottle, at home and all alone, within the next 2 hours.
From there, I will most likely walk out to the nearest wine store and pick up another bottle. I will tell the clerk that this bottle is for my friend's birthday... or my cousin's birthday ... or my client's birthday... (The last time I was in this wine store, the clerk commented on the shear size of my immediate family and on how many clients I have!! lol..)
Any who...
I will then come home and consume at least 1/2 of this bottle, if not more ... then pass out .. and then awake around 10:15pm.
Oh no!!! 10:15 pm and I only have 1/2 a bottle of wine left... Can't' have that now, can I???
Since I am fully clothed, it will only make sense that I proceed to another wine store, a bit further away than the previous one I had visited a bit earlier. This time, I will ask the clerk to remove the price tag because it is a retirement gift for a very special co-worker!!
I will then go home and drink a bit more until I pass out yet again.
Upon waking in the morning, I will feel like absolute crap. Fortunately, I will still have a little bit of wine left over.
I will only have one sip to make me feel a bit better and to take the edge off. One sip??? Seriously... I still have wine left over!!
Oh No!!! Bottle is empty? Off to the store I go. Hello, Mr. Clerk "My step-uncle's birthday is today! YEAH!!!""
And... Let the binge begin!!!
---
When the waitress approached the table, I placed an order for a tall glass of iced-water.
I stood strong. I said to myself, "Not again. Enough. You do not want this any more. You deserve better. You are worth more. Just give yourself a chance. Just say No."
It was honestly the best tasting iced-cold glass of water that I ever had!! Incredibly refreshing!!!
Phew!!! So close...
Day 8, Here I come!!!
----
It started out as a very nice morning ... met a friend at a local coffee shop around 11:00 am.
She is looking for retail space to open a new business. I am in real estate so I said I would help her. We strolled around the busy Italian section of my town for a bit looking for potential store fronts. At the end of our stroll, a very good friend suddenly called out my name. I turned, and there he was, smiling and waving at me!!
It was so great to see him! He was finishing up lunch at a very quaint Italian restaurant and enjoying a nice glass of red wine. He invited us to sit down and chat for a while.
I was thrilled to see him!! Plus, it was a beautiful day! All the windows in this restaurant were open and there was such a wonderful cross-breeze. The flowers in the flower boxes, which lined all the windows, danced in the warm summer sun and gentle breeze.
What a great day and wonderful surprise to see him!!! Right??
For the first 5 minutes and until the waitress was able to visit our table, I stared at his glass of red wine. It smelled so good.
Plus, it was such a beautiful day... And I was really not planning on bumping into my friend ... And, did I mentioned, his glass of red wine smelled so good?? It was also the perfect shade of red to boot!!
I sat there for 5 minutes salivating like a rabic dog... What to do??? What to do???
I decided to take a moment and think about what I most likely would do if I had that one glass of wine.
---
History has proven, time and time again, that most likely, if I had that one glass of wine, then I will pick up a full bottle on my way home. Why? Today was such a special day... How many days are like this? Truly a very special day!!
I will then proceed to consume the entire bottle, at home and all alone, within the next 2 hours.
From there, I will most likely walk out to the nearest wine store and pick up another bottle. I will tell the clerk that this bottle is for my friend's birthday... or my cousin's birthday ... or my client's birthday... (The last time I was in this wine store, the clerk commented on the shear size of my immediate family and on how many clients I have!! lol..)
Any who...
I will then come home and consume at least 1/2 of this bottle, if not more ... then pass out .. and then awake around 10:15pm.
Oh no!!! 10:15 pm and I only have 1/2 a bottle of wine left... Can't' have that now, can I???
Since I am fully clothed, it will only make sense that I proceed to another wine store, a bit further away than the previous one I had visited a bit earlier. This time, I will ask the clerk to remove the price tag because it is a retirement gift for a very special co-worker!!
I will then go home and drink a bit more until I pass out yet again.
Upon waking in the morning, I will feel like absolute crap. Fortunately, I will still have a little bit of wine left over.
I will only have one sip to make me feel a bit better and to take the edge off. One sip??? Seriously... I still have wine left over!!
Oh No!!! Bottle is empty? Off to the store I go. Hello, Mr. Clerk "My step-uncle's birthday is today! YEAH!!!""
And... Let the binge begin!!!
---
When the waitress approached the table, I placed an order for a tall glass of iced-water.
I stood strong. I said to myself, "Not again. Enough. You do not want this any more. You deserve better. You are worth more. Just give yourself a chance. Just say No."
It was honestly the best tasting iced-cold glass of water that I ever had!! Incredibly refreshing!!!
Phew!!! So close...
Day 8, Here I come!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Dear Visch1 - I very much appreciate your response. I did not know there is an actual name for this thought process. Thank you for point that out!! It is good to know that I am finally doing something right here!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
AWESOME post. I have walked through that day many times and not always made the right choice. My mind has gone through each thought process that you just described....in the way that we rationalize buying more and more. I would go to a different store, but not as clever as you in making up the story that it is for a client or relative. I could vividly picture that restaurant and the red glass of wine you described. Wow, it takes one to relate to one, huh? Good job. Well done in thinking that through. I have not put myself in any position to be near alcohol since I quit 41 days ago. I don't think I am strong enough to be around it yet...if ever. I don't want to take any chances. Keep going strong my friend.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Great job!
We've all "been there."
True story.
Early into my sobriety I had to do a job at a bar and someone bought me a beer. They didn't know that I had stopped drinking and I wasn't in a position to tell them, or remove the beer, so a nice cold bottle of Miller Lite just sat there....looking at ME!......for an HOUR!
It felt like slow death.
I kept telling myself..."it's just a test. It's only a test."
I ended up giving it away. The guy I gave it to said "are you sure?" my response, "if you don't want it, its going in the trash."
He ended up taking the beer. Needless to say I got the hell out of there as soon as I was done working. I don't think I'll forget that night for as long as I live.
Once again, great job.
We've all "been there."
True story.
Early into my sobriety I had to do a job at a bar and someone bought me a beer. They didn't know that I had stopped drinking and I wasn't in a position to tell them, or remove the beer, so a nice cold bottle of Miller Lite just sat there....looking at ME!......for an HOUR!
It felt like slow death.
I kept telling myself..."it's just a test. It's only a test."
I ended up giving it away. The guy I gave it to said "are you sure?" my response, "if you don't want it, its going in the trash."
He ended up taking the beer. Needless to say I got the hell out of there as soon as I was done working. I don't think I'll forget that night for as long as I live.
Once again, great job.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
To all... Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I am so proud of myself... Though, at this point, I know not to let it go to my head. This journey is not a simple sprint; it is a marathon!!!
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