brokendreamz

So this is my first post in here, but from what ive read so far its a familiar story. I fell in love with the most amazing man ive ever met, he is a drug addict. We have known each other for 20 odd years and have always been friends and at times it could have gone further. 4 years ago we ran into each other and he was still struggling with addiction to opiates, using on a daily basis, of course he hid it from me to begin with but i worked it out soon enough and for the first 4 months we battled together, he then got the strength to beat it for near on 2 years, it was the best 2 years of my life, he was caring, thoughtful and treated me like a princess, i watched a broken man with a dependence turn into a confident man who was happy in his own skin begin to see positives and change his whole thought process, it was one of the best things i have ever been part of!
But then the drinking started, then the relapses, then the head space changed...he had reverted back to the person he was before and i was shattered, all the trust broken, all the dreams slipping away fast...my happiness gone and his back to the selfish person he had been, the lies the manipulation the heartbreak...in the last 2 years i have watched him spiral, he would drink when ever he could, and when he got bored of that he would use...Opiates arent as available as they were so now his drug is Ice, the most soul destroying drug ive ever witnessed. We have broken up more times than i can count, he always falls straight back into old habbits...this time last year he tried patches for the first time and Overdosed, i just felt something wasnt right and went to his house to check he dropped within 5 mins of me being there, i gave him CPR until the ambos got there...every second of that horrifying night replays alot. He went on to overdose again 3 weeks later, this time i wasnt there, his so called mates took him to the hospital, he made it thru that one just...We have done counseling, doctors, naltrexone, anything we can think of, but the end result is the same...he goes well and then busts, this weekend just gone he had been clean almost 4 months, he did his usual disappearing act and spent the weekend using Ice .... I have left him for the last time...but i wish he knew just how much he has hurt me, how much his addiction has affected me and other loved ones, i wish he could be the person he wants to be, it all seems so unfair....I love this guy so much, but I just cant be there anymore...but it hurts just as much!

Tamerua

Morning broken, there is a great friends and families section, they can offer advice. Have you tried Alanon? Sounds like it would be good so that you can work on you.

Anna

You also might want to check out AlAnon as a support for yourself.

IOAA2

Hi. I’m sorry for your pain. No one except the person in the addiction is able to recover and it has to be for themself. There is an expression that we can’t get anyone sober or drunk. For help with your sanity I suggest exploring Al Anon. good luck.