hellomynameis

Hello - I am an addict who has been struggling on my own to maintain my sobriety for 2 months. I have a plan to attend NA and Alanon meetings (for help with my relationship with an addict). I have been to NA meetings before but in complete denial in attendance w/ my SO. I can't tell you the amount of anxiety I have over this. Want to know why?

1. I have an uncommon name. If you googled me or facebook'd me, it wouldn't be hard to find me if you know which state or area of a state I lived in.

2. Local close to my house NA meetings are in a sober living center for men. I don't feel comfortable there. I have sat outside wanting to go in, but just can't b/c I don't see any women going in. So, I am working on trying to find a meeting to go out outside of my very local area.

3. I have tried counseling but, I work for a healthcare system and I am programmer for their electronic medical record and I HAVE to use their doctors in order to use their insurance. I do not beleive my medical record is secure from my employer snooping in it and all they would need to see is an encounter from a counseling center or a private encounter and I would be found out.

4. I am scared to start down the path of real recovery. I can stay sober for a few weeks. I haven't started the work to address the issues and the obsessiveness I have towards my drug of choice is bleeding into other areas of my life as a replacement.

5. My family, all except my mom, is completely clueless as to my addiction. The meeting I really want to go to is on Saturday nights during what is faithfully called "family time". How do I tell them I have to leave to go to an NA meeting w/o just blowing off the whole day with them all together?

I want this so badly. My fears are keeping me locked in this state of inaction.

Thanks and God Bless...

ZoeM

I don't know if this helps, but there is AA online - not sure about NA - would that help? x

Found it...

http://na-recovery.org/

hellomynameis

its cool - i have a plan with meetings to go to and times and all. I will call tomorrow and confirm. The chat rooms really helped me today put these fears in perspective.

least

I hope you find the solution you need.

ZoeM

Really glad you've sorted out some meetings I'm throwing everything at this - mainly SR but also thinking of going to a women's AA meeting on a Saturday morning. If nothing else, it will keep me out of mischief for an hour x

hellomynameis

I am going to tell you ZoeM that online stuff tends to be an addiction to me. Meeting face to face is real life. Not to minimize here but there is a balance to be struck I think. Don't worry about a women's only meeting. All the meetings I have gone to have been about equal in number. Pick one and go. That is what I am going to do to tonight and I am scared to death!

pinkdog

Hi hello, welcome. I am an alcoholic. The first time I went to an AA meeting, it was all men. I am a woman. Nobody cared. They welcomed me. Everyone there understands your struggle. Everyone here does too. It's great that you are reaching out and searching for answers. Remember you don't have to talk at the meeting if you don't want to. And you can leave anytime you want. Best of all to you.

Sally3127

Good luck. Honesty, openness and willingness are the keys to getting sober and staying sober. It sounds simple but it takes work and determination. I'm going on 7 months now. Meetings are a key to my recovery and I've had to distance myself from many of my friends and family. But it is a necessity for me now. Think of yourself and not your family. If they love you (and I'm sure they do) they will support you.

Praying for you!

Sanyasin

Hello. I am new also. I am here to get a hold on my addiction. I see that most of the ones on this site are here for alcohol. I am here for drugs so I am trying to connect with people going through a similar experience. I think today is my third day. I am still waiting for the drugs to pass through my system and I am in a bad place physically and mentally right now. This group is my lifeboat for now. At least I don't feel alone when I am here. Just wanted to drop you a line and thank you for the sharing that you have done. It helps.............

Anna

I hope you find something that works for you, and don't forget that there is lots of support here at SR.

ZoeM

Thanks for your opinion.

Croissant

Cant you tell them your name is Sally, Penny, Marmite, Vegemite!

NA meetings in a shelter....aren't they closed meetings anyway? There are options for meetings that you don't have to register on a system for. There are also helplines.

I appreciate your paranoia...I have a reasonably unusual name, but that wouldn't stop me from going to a support group.