Rehab in a week, so many emotions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 249
Rehab in a week, so many emotions
I am scared. I feel ashamed. I am alone. I have barely been living the last few years of my life. I am like a zombie just going through the motions. My thoughts revolve around getting drunk or high, trying not to, and trying to get sober. I am sooo exhausted. It consumes me.
i don't understand why I have messed up countless times, I am fully aware of the damage I am causing, and yet I still continue to use. I journal, I have seen counsellors, I have abstained, I have read books on recovery and I use SR.
Yet I still continue to drink and use. I don't know what's wrong with me... I feel damaged beyond repair. I am sick of the lies, deceit the sorrow. If I continue to live my life this way, it will kill me. I will either commit suicide while under the influence, drive drunk and take a life, or my own, or give myself a chronic disease if I haven't already. Still, I continue to choose boose and drugs.
I am going to rehab in a week. I can't change my mind now although my AV tells me I should. I broke down and told my parents the truth about my struggles. I gave my boss a note from my dr, I will go on medical leave.
i have not let myself get more than 16 days sober. I will be in rehab for 18 days. I need a place to gain clarity without distractions. I need to be in a place where I cannot use or drink. I need to talk to professionals about my past and my hurt. I know it will all be waiting for me when I get back, but I feel like I need this time to concentrate on me.
Whew, that was a lot. Thanks for listening, needed to get this off my chest
i don't understand why I have messed up countless times, I am fully aware of the damage I am causing, and yet I still continue to use. I journal, I have seen counsellors, I have abstained, I have read books on recovery and I use SR.
Yet I still continue to drink and use. I don't know what's wrong with me... I feel damaged beyond repair. I am sick of the lies, deceit the sorrow. If I continue to live my life this way, it will kill me. I will either commit suicide while under the influence, drive drunk and take a life, or my own, or give myself a chronic disease if I haven't already. Still, I continue to choose boose and drugs.
I am going to rehab in a week. I can't change my mind now although my AV tells me I should. I broke down and told my parents the truth about my struggles. I gave my boss a note from my dr, I will go on medical leave.
i have not let myself get more than 16 days sober. I will be in rehab for 18 days. I need a place to gain clarity without distractions. I need to be in a place where I cannot use or drink. I need to talk to professionals about my past and my hurt. I know it will all be waiting for me when I get back, but I feel like I need this time to concentrate on me.
Whew, that was a lot. Thanks for listening, needed to get this off my chest
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Zoey,
Rehab worked for me, I bet it can work for you if you really want it. Of course, you know the hard work starts when you get out. Take the time to clear your head and get a plan in place. I know you can do this!
Rehab worked for me, I bet it can work for you if you really want it. Of course, you know the hard work starts when you get out. Take the time to clear your head and get a plan in place. I know you can do this!
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