Acheleus

Ok I still feel terrified and when I close my eyes it is like a dream, strange people talking and laughing. Im scared because I drank all day yesterday. I am all alone and very scared about how bad I feel. I was going to go to a meetinf but I cannot leave my place because I feel scared. Should I start to feel better later on?

Dee74

I know that after drinking fear - I'm sure you've had it before too. Try and breathe.
Do normal things - watch some TV maybe.

In the longer term tho,this is a rough cycle to be in Ach.
When fear is this paralysing, you really need to reach out and get some help to break the cycle.

are you taking your meds?

I think you need to contact your Dr and counsellor Ach.

D

Acheleus

Yes seeing counselor tomorrow and taking meds. I am reading the big book. Seeind md on thursday

Anna

Yes, Dee is right, please talk to your dr.

ZoeM

I just want to say thanks for the reminder. A similar thing happened to me the last time and I'm saving this post, incase I'm ever tempted to go anywhere near alcohol ever again x

Mrbeagle

Hey Ach, I know where you are coming from because I am exactly the same post bender. The panic, fear and almost 'locked in' feeling always happen for me too and for me makes the withdrawal twice as bad as in the first place.

It's done now and you can't go back, coming on SR and posting was a good step. I'm only day 5 and been where you are countless times. A day later I felt okay again. You can do it and you never have to feel like this again.

Hang on in there

Acheleus

There is a meeting at ten, I hope I feel good enough to go. This fear is something I never want to experience again.

EndGameNYC

I feel for you Acheleus, I really do.

Doing the same things that got you in trouble in the first place simply will not work.

I don't know the best way out of your personal hell, but I do know that doing what you've done before will not bring you relief. I'm also concerned that with the majority of your comments the past several days, you've been spiraling downwards, and that you've very little in place to help you.

I've little to recommend beyond your staying in touch here until you're able to reach out for the help you need.

Acheleus

Thank you. It feels like I am all alone but I know others have dealt with this problem. I really need to process how serious my problem is.

ZoeM

It is truly terrifying to go through. Please, please let this be your wake up call xx

Dee74

I remember being so scared I was like gollum scuttling around the floor of my apartment trying not to be seen out the window....and I was two stories off the ground.

It's debilitating and terrifying.

I needed help to get through that - and I got it - with that help, and me staying sober, I've never felt that way again Ach

D

Olive1

Hi Acheleus,

I am pretty sure there are online meetings as well. You could check that out while you wait for the face to face meeting.
I hope you feel better soon.
I believe in you, and I believe you can make it through.

ZoeM

Yeah, it's AAOnline.net--Realtime Open AA Meetings on the Internet

Dee74

these breathing exercises are the ones I use

Breathing Exercises

Acheleus

Thank you all. Drinking ice cold water and not seeing as much stuff when I close my eyes. So I am going to pray and I like to listen to big book stories. I have to get in touch with my higher power, that is one big missing piece.

hayley86

I used to feel like you describe if i had been drinking heavily and its very scary. Make sure you have had something to eat and drink some water and get some rest if you are tired.

You have people supporting you here. You will start to feel better if you leave the alcohol alone. If you feel up to the meeting and you can go it could be the start of a great thing for you and a step towards getting well. Plus you would have some face to face interaction and support. If it is too much maybe go to one when you feel more able.

You need to stop putting yourself through this terrible cycle of drinking and then feeling more anxious and awful and really focus on getting better. You don't deserve to be feeling so miserable and living in such fear and panic. I hope you feel better soon. Please reach out here if you need to.

Acheleus

Thank you. I feel the light coming back again. I have to love myself more, not hate myself all the time.

Sorensen

I feel the same way today, I drank 18 beers on an empty stomach last night playing NHL 13 on playstation 3. I was still drunk at noon today. The panic fear and uneasiness kicked in around 2 and it feels like my stomach is riding up into my throat. I get a racing heart, stiff neck, dizziness, out of touch with reality feeling... it is so brutal. I am going to be hungover going to bed tonight.

Acheleus

Well we never have to put ourselves through this again. I have been reading the 12 steps in the big book.

Junegirl

Ache,

My anxiety and panic attacks were awful for years. Now I know it was because of the drinking. Ever since I quit, I've felt a million times better. Please stay strong; this will pass. I always felt better when I thought about my plan for dealing with cravings in the future.

June