GraceToo

Today is the day that 2 out of our 3 kids were born, in different years. We're having a big party for them, in our backyard, which we do every year. We are expecting most of our family and a bunch of friends along with tons of kids. We're doing a barbecue and have a big bounce castle set up that we rented for the day. Today is kind of monumental in another way too, it's going to be the first time in a LONG time that I'm doing all of this while being pill-free. Today is Day 70, which I'm very proud of, but I'm kind of nervous and apprehensive. Almost all of our family and friends now know about my addiction. I kept it well-hidden for a long time, but when I finally sought out help in June, it took a lot of people by surprise, and in my family news travels quickly. Today is the first time I'll be seeing some of these people since they heard the "news", and I'm worried because I have a feeling that everyone is going to be watching me out of the corners of their eyes, to see how I'm acting and if I'm behaving "normally". Its going to be kind of awkward too, like the elephant in the room -everyone knows about it but nobody will dare talk about it, at least not in front of me. I just want today to be about the kids, and not about me . I'm really anxious , and I hope it goes smoothly ! I just needed to get that off my chest, so thank you to those of you who read this ! I will update later, and I hope everyone is having a good day so far
Audrey

fancyfee

Good luck!!

Happy birthday to your sweet children! That party sounds awesome!

Hopefully everyone acts like normal and doesn't treat you any differently. If they do laugh it off and refocus your energy towards the kids.

Sending you good thought and prayer for today!

Lightning Bug

70 days is awesome!!!!!
Maybe when the are looking at you, you can smile in the thought of how PROUD they are of you. That is what I would be thinking.

Life is short - go play in the bouncy house!

christin1225

Audrey, most of my relatives don't know about me. So, I can only imagine how you are feeling and, therefore, have little to offer on the subject.

However, I wanted to say, "Thank you" for sharing this and say that I hope that the only words spoken about you today (whether heard or unheard) are ones that encourage and that appreciate all that you are.

From this side of my monitor, you sound like a pretty great mom! Have fun enjoying your children.

(Oh... and if you have no spinal issues, I highly recommend the bouncy house too!)

Marcus

Well you are probably well into the party by now, but I went through something similar, but maybe even worse since I progressed to Heroin and if that drug doesn't carry a huge stigma I don't know what does. You hear heroin and you think junky and that might well be true, but I graduated college and make pretty good money and overall pretty successful, but still I am a heroin addict so the first few family parties and the first Thanksgiving and Christmas forget about it. Can you say awkward! I realized pretty quickly that I couldn't change what I had done so I just had to hold my head high and honestly stop caring so much what my friends, relatives, and in laws thought. So much of it was projection anyway, but even if I got the stink eye from a brother or sister-n-law not my problem. If I am doing the right thing and keeping my side of the street clean then I am okay with that. Everyone has secrets or issues or shortcomings or whatever so I was not going to let anyone think they were better than me. I screwed up yes and I am making living amends by not doing it anymore and if that was not good enough for them then f@ck em to put it bluntly. Be yourself. Hold your head high. You matter and if you believe in God well God loves you and if not WE or at least I know how it feels and I think you are pretty okay so there you go!!!

DylanS

Big congrats on the 70 days, GT! That's inspiring, as is your decision to tell your family. I've been secretly attending AA and just today told my wife, finally.

Hope it goes well - give us an update!

cleaninLI

Awe Grace that's great what your doing for your kids birthday! I'm sure the greatest birthday gift your kids are getting this year is their Mom clean and sober! 70 days? That's fantastic!

Don't worry about what the others are thinking. I've come to realize that everyone has some skeletons in their closet. Yours just happens to be out in the open right now. Don't worry, something will come up soon (someone else's issue) and take you out of the limelight! You would be surprised how short people's memory's really are.

I hope your enjoying the party!

ClimbHigh

Congratulations GT!! Both on your 70 days and on being so good to your kids!! You should be proud of yourself and what you've accomplished, and at the end of the day your sobriety is for you, try not to let negative thoughts creep in regarding what others may be thinking. I know in my family when I got clean most were loving and supportive, those that weren't I really tried to just let it roll off my back. Enjoy your day and try not to stress!!
CH

GraceToo

Thanks so much you guys , Its amazing how people I've never even met can make me smile Everything went really well ( for once!) but I'm kinda glad that its over..

Hope everyone is having a good day

Audrey