heatherp78

Thank you, I have found an website and group that knows what Im now going through. My story started a few years ago where I would nag my husband for his drinking which got a lot worse till December last year I thought at the time by having the talk with him about how he was affecting us he would stop the drinking which he did or so I believed and trusted, however only a few days ago I found out he had switched to coke instead I haven't been in control of finances and I asked to look at the creditcard statement because it was saying it was maxed out and there it was ervyday £150 -£200 taken out and after me not understanding how it could happen he came out and told me it was all on coke of course my reaction was to completely freak out I called his parents to come over(we have a very close relationship) this was not something I could handle on my own we have a 4 year old and I was in breakdown mode a lot of screaming went on(on my part really) I was in complete shock I had no idea he was using coke I felt so stupid and naïve why didn't I see any signs , I was still looking for signs of his drinking which are much easier to see (breath). He told me he had stopped 2 weeks prior ( which I can only believe because we ran out of money everything gone life savings credit maxed. Anyway I asked his parents to have him stay with them(its still very raw at this point and I haven't had time with a 4 year old to think or get my head round it) so I know he is somewhere safe. I love this man we have been together since we were 18 Im now 34 (long time) things haven't been easy for a few years we are poor but manage to own are own property. well that's basically my story Im now slowly coming to terms with what has happened and looking into the whole addiction process effects etc... and I am calming down the anger is gone and guilt has arrived I will have a sit down and proper talk with him soon I just still cant bear the thought of looking him in the eye at the moment. Thank you again everybody after reading some stories I no longer feel so alone

pravchaw

Hi heatherp78, welcome to SR though I am sorry you are here. You will find lots of support and kindhearted people here who have gone through or are going through the same thing you are going through. My son (he 21 now) has been addicted to marijuana and alcohol for several years now. Things became so bad that I had to evict him out of the home a few months ago. Educate yourself on addiction and on co-dependency. The main thing is the addict has to work on himself. Here is an article which might help you get started. Keep on coming here and posting. You will learn a lot and get a lot of compassion and support. It helps.

Kindeyes

Welcome....yes....we do understand. Each of us here have a loved one affected by the disease of addiction.

Stick around, post, rant, question, learn, relate. We walk this path together. We are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

heatherp78

thank you guys, I no its going to be a long road with many bumps but Im going to try and take everyday as it comes and hopefully find my own strength again x

Ann

I am glad you found us too.

As the mother of an addicted grown son, I pray for his parents as well as you and your child. You did the right thing to protect your child and I hope his parents will seek guidance too, because I fear they will go through the same hell I went through with my son.

Love cannot save our addicted loved ones, if it could not one of us would be here. Only they can help themselves and that often doesn't happen until everyone else stops trying to help them first.

May you all have better days ahead.

Hugs

crazycoda

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. You will get through this just remember to emotionally protect yourself as this can be quite draining. Allow his family as well as you to deal with this situation together xxx

heatherp78

Thanks again his parents are great and at the the moment full of sadness for whats happened we talk everyday to just let out our feelings I have asked her if she would like to attend any groups with me but I don't think at the moment she does, and I am trying to protect myself emotionally but its still so raw at the moment that anytime Im out of my daughters sight I just ball my eyes out but today we did something normal and made a load of cupcakes it was lovely to just be able to do this simple task with a big smile on my face x