overit263

I thought that my husband was a little different and that he would make a change. He's got addiction issues with bi polar disorder which can go hand in hand. We had been through treatment once before, I've known him 20 years, been married almost 6. We made a move so that he could get a promotion with his job, I was supportive, left a high paying job to come to a rural lake area. His behavior was strange, but nothing was missing, told him to get to the doctors, go to meetings, find a sponsor. Caught him smoking cigs and knew something was up. fast forward to kicking him out when I found out he was using....drove him to the hospital, wouldn't drive him to treatment and told him he needed to go straight to treatment. He's been gone about a month and a half total. I haven't seen him, but he's been manipulative on the phone so I stopped taking his calls. He told me that I didn't want him to have any friends and that I was too controlling with the money and that he hates the way he has to live with me so he doesn't want to be married anymore. Fine. Guess who else decided when you pawned stuff including your wedding band, didn't want to be married anymore? So he's bailing on his work and the people here that are supportive to go back to where we came from. His family is known to use. I know I can't save him, I was just hoping he would make some smart decisions being in treatment and all. I finally had to tell my work what was going on, but I'm feeling very used and screwed over and sad right now. I went from high paying with benefits to him telling me to "take a break" and take a lesser pay. I have such a headache from trying to rap my brain around all the craziness.

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation. It sounds like things aren't working out the way you wanted them to, and that you regret deciding to give up your job and take a lower-paying job. Is there any way that you can move and go back to your old job? Hopefully you can find support for yourself. Have you tried AlAnon? Also, we have a forum for Friends & Families on this board.

least

I agree with Anna. Can you try getting back to your old job? Might be worth a try. Seems like he's given up on the marriage and on his treatment. I wish you the best.

overit263

Can't go back to my old job, and that's fine. I'm going to start brand new as soon as I can. He's going back to where we came from, which is where he started using as a kid. Not my problem now. What I cannot handle is him abandoning every obligation, the marriage work etc. and then telling me I made him unhappy. I know that's not true but it's very hard to swallow. He gets out on the 22nd, and I know he's supposed to clean out his locker at work that day - his boss told me because he quit yesterday. I know I will figure it out for myself, I always had to take care of myself before this, and thankfully I listened in the NA meetings I went to with him. I can't meet with the attorney until the 28th and have a car I have to sell in order to make ends meet. So for now, I'm applying to jobs like crazy here in the south, but a different date. Can't go back up north because he's going back up there, and being back up there doesn't interest me anyway.