GreenEggsAndHam

I was 21 days sober, feeling great, and then decided drinking isn't that big of a deal, that I could drink in moderation, blah blah. Quickly got back to the point where my drinking starts in the morning and ends with me passing out.

Soooo....I'm going to try again. I owe it to myself and everyone I love to keep trying. I guess the good thing is that this time I know what to expect the first couple of weeks. Looking forward to feeling good again.

Amajorityofone

FYI-

Moderation is like getting in bed with the devil and telling him we're not going to phuck. Put more simply, substance abuse, even in moderation, does not make things "better." This is why, even after almost one whole year of staying completely clean, I still adhere to the simple philosophy of "no matter what happens, not today."

Good luck and God Bless

IOAA2

Hi. Moderation still = drinking and when I drank I always wanted more, more. It might work for a few days or weeks then it seems worse than when we started moderation. Read our lips, NO moderation doesn’t work. I needed to put all my effort into not drinking and shortly later into the reasonS I drank to get better for the long haul. With slipping or relapses we have no guarantee to ever get back again, then trouble really begins.

GreenEggsAndHam

Thanks for the replies. I know I can't moderate but I keep forgetting.

I got in a huge drunken fight with DH last night and I don't even remember the first half of the fight - he told me about it and I am just disappointed in myself. I apologized but he's still upset this morning (I know this because of the vehicle he took - long story). I ruin everything.

James18

Moderation is always my downfall too. "Once you pop, you can't stop". I would rather not be the person who can't drink, but that is how it is. 21 days is brilliant though. Don't let it get you down. The only time you really fail is when you stop trying .

What you said about the fight is exactly what happened with me two nights ago. I was awful to my other half. She said she was close to walking out.

trikyriky

Hi my friend
Sorry to hear of your slip
Sending strength & encouragement vibes

DarkDays

These Threads help me even at over 18 months, they remind me what an absurd self torturing pastime drinking is.

Thanks ! and Good luck

hypochondriac

Developing a healthy fear of alcohol is no bad thing. For whatever reason people do not remember pain well, sometimes it helps to have reminders.

You haven't failed btw, just keep trying x

LadyinBC

Well you are not the only one to think this and you won't be the last. We don't learn anything unless we make a few mistakes along the way.

The important thing to do is to learn from it and figure out what you can do different next time and take stock on what you are doing to ensure you stay sober.

lessgravity

I'm with you Green. Let's get it started today. I'm going to focus on feeling free, hard as that is.

Pamel

So am I Green. Day 1 (again) here. Thanks for being part of it.

Ptcapote

Hi GreenEggs, I was wondering about you the other day and did a search to see when you last posted. I always enjoyed your threads and posts. Yeah, no such thing as moderation but boy do we try and try. I did for years but it kept swallowing me whole and spitting me back out in a million pieces. You'll kick this.

Glad you're back!

Mizzuno

Moderation was a big part of my drinking adventure. Every time that I drank, I would TRY to moderate. Then I would stop moderating because I was well past loaded and did not care at all. Then I would start all over again the next day, or depending on how I felt in the morning, I would take a one day break and then resume my moderation drinking. It was hurtful on all levels. When I look back on it, I am slightly disgusted. It was a lose lose situation. I am glad that you are back at it, and I know that you can do this. Stay close to us here on SR. We need you here, and you need some support

SereneEdition

Sounds like you learned a key lesson.
Congrats on 21 days - glad you're back

raja12

Well count me in! Finally a class I belong in..........
Sorry don't mean 2 be a wise butt, but I'm bac at day 1 myself. It is depressing.

Mirage74

I feel your pain Moderation. After not posting here for a while, I have to admit its because I've continued to drink. I drank all weekend. I feel so ashamed to admit this. It's amazing how your voice will tell you that you don't have a problem. Get back on the wagon, that's what I have to do.

Nuudawn

Welcome back Green Eggs..(you too Raja and Mirage).
To me there is absolutely no point in moderation anyway. I drank for effect and once I had the effect, I didn't want it to end. I'm a food and beverage server part time. Last night I had a table who ordered wine. When it was gone, one of the fellows wanted to order another. No one else wanted to. He kept asking everyone if "they were sure" repeatedly. I could literally see and feel his frustration. He wanted more wine. It got me thinking about the 'ole' days. I think I felt a similar frustration to the man whilst still drinking the first glass. I was already anticipating my next drink. When I thought about it..I could physically remember that feeling. Ugh..never want it back. In the end, I felt frustration for more even when it was in my hand.

GreenEggsAndHam

Thanks everyone. It's embarrassing because I was doing to so well and even trying to help others stop, but it's like I just *forget* the bad stuff that goes along with drinking and think it's fine to drink again.

eta: Sorry I am so late to respond. I have a ton of orders to get out today and am, once again, under the gun because I spent all day drunk yesterday instead of working.

Delilah1

Hi Green,

I am here again as well.

1stepup

Hi GreenEggsAndHam, great to see you back on board, sorry to hear you've been through a bad spell on the drink. Moderation is the temptation and fantasy for me but its never the reality unfortunately. Its all the way or nothing and nothing doesn't cause all the stress, anxiety and guilt that the 'all the way' causes. Itl get better day by day. We've missed you on here, things will get better- youre worth a lot more than the drunk you. x