EndGameNYC

Interesting stuff. I was able to identify with what the authors found, both while drinking and in sobriety.

My take? A happy life is getting what we want; a meaningful life is helping others.

Be careful what you ask for.

Meaning Is Healthier Than Happiness - Emily Esfahani Smith - The Atlantic

"Happiness may not be as good for the body as researchers thought. It might even be bad."

"Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided," the authors of the study wrote. "If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in need.” While being happy is about feeling good, meaning is derived from contributing to others or to society in a bigger way. As Roy Baumeister, one of the researchers, told me, "Partly what we do as human beings is to take care of others and contribute to others. This makes life meaningful but it does not necessarily make us happy."

jazzfish

I read that. I think happiness is an elusive goal. It cannot be attained except as a by-product of how we live our lives. One of the worst things about my drinking was that my life had no purpose, no direction, and no structure. It has been an eye-opening adventure to discover that I had no goals and was unaware of my own values in life.

As I have worked to define my values and set goals consistent with them, I am finding it easier to go through each day. And I am happy with the small increments of progress I make each day toward my goals and fulfilling my purpose.

awuh1

I find it useful to distinguish between pleasure and happiness. Pleasure, for me, is derived from things that fulfill my needs and desires. Happiness on the other hand is derived from leading a meaningful existence.

Happiness is more difficult to achieve than pleasure. It often requires action that does not bring pleasure. Being happy often requires me to suspend the gratification of my own needs. For example, I may go to an AA meeting in order to be with friends and have a good time. This is a pleasurable experience. At this same meeting, however, I might see a new person that I do not know, someone who is in early sobriety and is in a bad way. It would be more pleasurable to hang out with my friends and have a good time. What will bring me happiness however is to see what I might be able to do to help that person who is suffering. This involves me getting outside my comfort zone. It involves me doing the right thing, instead of doing the thing that will bring me pleasure (hanging out with friends).

As jazzfish says, happiness is a by-product of leading a meaningful existence. I think this is why it’s often referred to as true happiness.

To thine own self be true.

least

Interesting.

Lyoness

I just sort of skimmed the article, printed it to read later. But just the title alone definitely strikes a chord with me. I am rather unfamiliar with happiness and tend to fear it when it happens, I don't trust it. I am trying to heal and change this.

But meaning I can relate to. When someone tells me that something I said or did brought them help, comfort, ease, peace or whatever that does fill me with a certain type of elation. It's much deeper than the high I might feel from drugs or some other short term thing that gets confused with trying to ease pain.

Helping others, bringing meaning or hope, that feeds the soul. And feeding the soul is what I believe, and hope, ultimately bring a deeper joy that is a place a person can live in/from. I am not remotely there yet, but it's something I am trying for.