AugustWest11

That place didn't pan out; do to several reasons .. Mainly cause I don't like people and felt real anxious around them there . So my Ex and Her Mother are gonna help me file for SSI benefits due to the severity of my back problem and mental issues It be so much easier if I just went back to my home town and drank myself in to oblivion ...

Dee74

no it wouldn't - trust me, I tried that.

I know it seems tough now but you will get through this, you will find a place, and you will look back and be glad you stayed true to yourself.

Don't lose yourself in despair - keep looking

D

least

You can get thru this sober. Have a little faith in yourself.

maureen14

Stay on here with us.Tell everything and reiterate sobriety all the time

LadyBlue0527

Keep posting, that's what we're here for. Dee is right, drinking won't make things easier. You know that too but it's hard to see it.

I pray that things get easier for you soon.

bigsombrero

Hey Auggie, we're here for ya. Sorry to hear it's not working out in your eyes - but to be quite honest it sounds like you are making progress. Getting the support and help you need, that is not easy, and going through it is not fun. Many of us have needed to be "taken care of" in the past, and it's a humbling experience.

Sounds like sobriety is helping you face and deal with some issues and take responsibility. You are doing the right thing, glad you are still sober and posting, keep it up!

quitforme79

If you started drinking again you'd just have to start all over & who knows how bad the consequences would be. Keep on doing the next right thing & posting here. We will be with you every step of the way.

Anna

I'm sorry that it's such a tough time for you.

But, you can get through it, you do have some help from your ex and your mother, and we are here for you too.

hope22

Augustwest Love your avatar btw. Hang in there, no drinking until oblivion ok. That's a bus you don't want to get on

Bruce292

If the place wasn't right probably best to look for another place. As the Three Stooges say "There ain't no other place around the place so I guess this must be the place". Don't mean to make light of your situation ... but that's the kind of thing that starts playing in my coconut. I hope getting help from your Ex and her Mom isn't going to be too stressful. Getting assistance, I'm assuming, would be very helpful.

As for oblivion. You know the lyric:

On the wall of the garden
a legend did say:
No one may come here
since no one may stay

I had assumed that had something to do with DMT but I think it's relevant to obtaining oblivion. You can't stay and in reality you're never really "there".

Off to Vermont, a day delayed, but I'm off soon enough.

Hang in there. Keep the faith.

AugustWest11

Thanx all; just seems so overwhelming and pointless in my eyes .. I won't have the things I love around me whereever I move (my ex, my cats, my family) so all I am seeing now is a life alone and by myself .. I know I should have dealt w\ my people issues at a younger age, but it was so much easier to eat LSD on tour and listen to the music and love every body :p But again TY for the support ..
August

FreddyBear

One thing I have to remember that if I relapse, I will need to quit again. And make it through first days again, which is hell. Each time it will be worse. For example, I had my driving license suspended today due to driving blackout drunk in the night. I can't be more thankful for the fact I didn't kill anyone (YET!!!).

AugustWest11

Sorry about your license; but that could be the wake up call you really need. I myself am trying to hold it together, it just keeps getting tougher every day knowing I am not wanted here & going to my home town would not be good for me.