Checking In Again...
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 49
Checking In Again...
I'm really happy about having somewhere to be accountable right now because it really does make me feel safer around temptation to think of this place.
Tonight was a little harder than the past few nights have been. I was very irritated with a few people in the house tonight and the comfort of a glass of wine was calling out to me. My mind was telling me that all the answers to my problems could be found in just one glass of wine. My mind is still telling me that. But I know what will really happen. I'll drink too much, wake up feeling like crap, and I will be the same, so will the person irritating me and all the circumstances of my life that I think I'm curing by taking a sip.
It's only been five days but I feel a difference this time. I don't want to jinx myself by saying that. I can hear this voice so much clearer this time than I have before and I'm not pretending that maybe I have a problem. I've prayed so many times "God I promise if I do it again, I'll know I'm an alcoholic, just don't let it be true until next time." Each time it's like the time before didn't count. This time I'm saying "God, I know I'm an alcoholic. Thank you for helping me see it sooner rather than later. I'm out of control. Please give me enough grace this moment to choose to be sober."
Tonight was a little harder than the past few nights have been. I was very irritated with a few people in the house tonight and the comfort of a glass of wine was calling out to me. My mind was telling me that all the answers to my problems could be found in just one glass of wine. My mind is still telling me that. But I know what will really happen. I'll drink too much, wake up feeling like crap, and I will be the same, so will the person irritating me and all the circumstances of my life that I think I'm curing by taking a sip.
It's only been five days but I feel a difference this time. I don't want to jinx myself by saying that. I can hear this voice so much clearer this time than I have before and I'm not pretending that maybe I have a problem. I've prayed so many times "God I promise if I do it again, I'll know I'm an alcoholic, just don't let it be true until next time." Each time it's like the time before didn't count. This time I'm saying "God, I know I'm an alcoholic. Thank you for helping me see it sooner rather than later. I'm out of control. Please give me enough grace this moment to choose to be sober."
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