erfra7

I really hate my emotion some times.
I'm going through divorce and my stbx is my bigges trigger ( she left me 7 months ago and is a meth addict ) today for some reason she is in my head.
and is bugging me, I'm on my 77 day sober and because I always drink to cover up my emotions ( sucks to quit drinking went you are going through divorce ) my sponsor did not answer, I'm trying to keep busy like packing moving next Tuesday to a new place, cleaning this old place, I will not go to AA meeting tonight (nothing closed to me ) but I think I will be here for good part of my day until I start feeling normal as normal as can be. I hope I don't bother you guys and gals to much...

Louise82

Hey, sorry for everything you're going through at the moment. Congrats on 77 days though, that's wicked good! Keep trying your sponsor, this is exactly the type of situation they're there for. Is there anyone else in the fellowship whose number you could try?

Great ideas to keep yourself busy and spend lots of time on here. Of course you won't be bothering us! That's what we're here for. Post as much as you like and keep us updated so we know how you're doing.

Isaiah

Everything Louise just said. I spend my time coming around here because I enjoy being "bothered."

Sounds like you've got a good plan in place to keep yourself from being overwhelmed and in the 'squirrel cage' as my old sponsor used to put it. We'll be here as well.

Dee74

hang around as much as you like erfra - I know you can get through this

D

Shakota

Efra, hang in there...you won't bother us, post as much as you need to, even if its one liners. This is my 4th day and I posted tons on my first day, these guys were great. everyone here is supportive of each other, that is the very first thing I learned. How warm and welcoming everyone was is what helped me so much that first day, so I know that you can do it too! Hang in there, and if you feel like you are slipping let us know, so we can catch you before you fall!

erfra7

thank you so much to all

Goose1

Efra7 Congrats on 77 days. And she left you 7 months ago. Wow it looks like 7's are wild for you this day, July 27, the 7th day of the week. I've been told that the number 7 is the number of completion. So you just keep coming back here. And you just keep cleaning that old place. And you just get through this day without picking up. And I guarantee you that tomorrow when you wake up your going to wake up more Sober, more Strong and more Complete. Hang in there Efra !

visch1

Hi. By working the program and going to ANY lengths a lot of us stay sober, that's the way it works. " I will not go to AA meeting tonight (nothing closed to me ) but I think I will be here for good part of my day until I start feeling normal as normal as can be."
My shite fairy talked to me this way and I drank more than once because I "made the rules." Hang on and BE WELL

Carlotta

Hi there,

I agree with Visch1, it is when we don't want to go to meetings and use any excuse not to go that we actually truly could use them. That's your AV talking trying to set you up to be isolated and vulnerable later on. You are hurting and when you hurt, the beast only knows one thing, it wants to feel good and to achieve that it craves a drink and this is when your addictive voice (aka the shyte fairy) starts telling you a bunch of nonsense.

If you truly cannot make it to a meeting hang around here of course but also do you have a friend you could call and spend sober time with? Either s/he could come and help you pack or do something else and resume packing tomorrow.

We can do it

erfra7

hi guys an up date I talk to my sponsor, he is busy but call (he is at a wedding)
3 of my kids are coming for dinner i'm making hamburgers is a beautiful sunny day up here,
and you are right vish1 is not excuses to work the programme.

Carlotta

Awesome!!! Not only you'll get to enjoy a sober barbecue on a sunny day but you can also put those youngsters to work

erfra7

thank you to all for the support I did make it .
i'm sober
I meditate, cook, went for a walk, and see how my God has help me. is only one little thing that he don't want to do for me delete from my memory my EX ...
but that is another story for another day.

Isaiah

All things in due time.

Glad you made it through what sounds like a pretty decent day!

Check off another 24 hours. It keeps getting easier from here.