Princessmin15

Hello all. I met my boyfriend in October last year and we've been together ever since. Moved in together in March and I am now pregnant with our first child, a baby girl, due in November. I know we move quickly! Anyway, about 1.5 ago, he went to a Christian program (we're not religious, this was just a good program for him to go too) and got sober. He came home from there last June (i did not know him yet) but when he came home, he did not attend meetings because the program he was in did not believe in the 12 steps. When i met him and found everything out, I was not going to judge him and he swore up and down he would never go back down that road. Granted last year before the program, he almost died. He has always told me he does not want to lose me or his son (5 yrs old) and would not jeopardize it for drugs. The month of June this year, just recently, we were fighting a lot, he was always falling asleep standing up, or just sitting up, he was getting fevers and chills, sweating. I just figured "he's a roofer, he's in the heat all day, he's tired." Little did i know he relapsed and was taking percocets behind my back. His brother who just came back from rehab has been clean over 90 days and my boyfriend went to him for help. Last week he attended meetings almost everyday, our relationship was getting stronger, and he was doing good. I drug tested him on Sunday morning and he was clean. Monday came, he had no sleep Sunday night because i guess the withdrawal (i'm trying to understand everything that goes along with it) so Monday morning i told him not to do anythin stupid because he was so upset he didn't sleep. He went to a meeting Monday night, his brother told me he thought he used. It came to be correct, he took one percocet and he swore it was only to sleep and not to get high. He cried for a while and just wants to get better.
I'm pregnant, i was brought up different. I was never around drugs, cigarettes, i went to college got a degree, my family is reserved and this is all different for me. I love him SO much and i support him, but after Monday him lying all day when i even asked him if he took anything, my heart is just shattered. I don't want to live my life worrying or drug testing him. I'm just lost.

Kandi25

Hello! If you have never been exposed to this type of thing, I suggest reading up on addictions and addicts. Addicts love to hide behind excises. "I needed that upper because I had to work all night" ,"Work was too stressful, I just needed one drink to relax". "I just needed one pill to get some sleep". You will learn that it is nothing personal, addicts just lie. It's a natural part of addiction. The focus needs to be on whether or not he accepts he has a problem and is willing to get some help. Regular meetings at the least, therapy, or rehab. Worry if he is resistant to get help or makes more excuses to cover up or justify his behavior. In the end, there is no excuse for him using and lying to you about it. Accept that it is unacceptable. I really hope for the best to you and your baby.

Princessmin15

Thank you. He has been going to meetings with his brother and the fact that after just 1 month of a relapse, he asked for help i believe shows a lot. Plus the fact that he came out and told me everything that has happened. Yeah he was lying the whole month, but he did finally tell me. I hear that's a big step for addicts. He definitely isn't resistant to getting help, right now. I just hope this helps. I'm worried for my future. But i have no problem walking away if need be.

Kandi25

I am really glad to hear that! Just make sure he actually stays serious about staying sober and getting the help. My dad knew how to play my mom well. He went to rehab over ten times before she finally left him. Every time he got caught, he would cry and say he would get help, just so she wouldn't leave him and he could keep the roof over his head. Sadly, addicts learn how to manipulate those around them. Not saying this is the case with your story, just saying be careful it doesn't develop into that pattern. You need to do what's best for you and that baby first and foremost!