LiveforToday22

I am on step 9 and terrified. This will take a world of courage for me to make amends. The only person I have made amends to so far is my mom. She broke down in tears, her heart was shattered because of me, but she is very proud and happy for me nonetheless. Anyways, I have done some very horrible things and I know this step must be done. My heart wants to make right what I have done wrong but in my mind I am in prison. I do not know how this will be possible

legna

If we take step three like it's meant to be taken, it's your higher powers ride now. You trust the auto manufacturer you never met when you get into your car, you trust the engineer you never met who built the roller coaster, you trust the pilot you never met when you get in the plane...

Trust.

I promise you...without even knowing you, your wrongs were not worse than mine. What is there to fear knowing your higher power loves you?

UncleMeat69

Break your amends list into 4 columns. Start with the easier ones (Like your mom) and put them under the NOW Column.

Next list the ones that are a little harder under Later Column.

The ones that seem tougher list under the Maybe Column.

Finally, the ones you think are "horrible" or impossible list under the Never Column.

Do it this way and you will discover that by the time you get to the Never Column you will be more than strong enough to do them, too.

It's your amends list. Nowhere in the BB does it say we have to start with the hardest ones first. Take it a "Day at a time" and "One amends at a time."
The more you do the stronger you get and remember God will do for you, what you can't do for yourself. But you have to start
because God won't do for you what you can do for yourself.

God speed.....

paul99

I had to do the "easier" ones first to give me the strength and guidance and practice to do the more difficult ones. Immediate family can often be the easier ones (just a generalization, of course) or perhaps the smaller ones where you might owe a few bucks.

Trust in HP, prayer and action...

Tommyh

My sponsor drew a spiral on a piece of paper
with me on the inside,he said to work my way out,creating a "comfort zone around me"
get the amends closest to me first.That way,my daily life would improve

worked fine

HonestlyTrying

This is very helpful, I too am on step 9. I am willing but still kind of afraid.
The biggest fear of admitting step one (that I AM an alcoholic OMG)and accepting step one, (that I can NEVER again be a cucumber now that I am a pickle...) has settled in and I am ok with it.
Finding out who exactly is the God of my understanding in step three was confusing until I realized He could be anything I needed. Patient, compassionate, never judged me, liked my sense of humor, always there for me, helping me to keep going, proud of me, everything I need my God to be, that's what he is. I discarded my ideas about who the God of my childhood was and allowed Him to be who I needed. Having that kind of freedom was a revolutionary thought! It works for me, and that is what the program suggests!
The next big fear of sharing my step 4 list with my sponsor, and EVERYTHING, even things I was never going to ever share...I got through all that while learning to trust the God of MY understanding.
After going through all of these things, and finding such relief and joy, I imagine the same for amends in step 9. Scary, but the promises will be fulfilled before we are halfway through. Everything I had been told to believe about this program has been true. I trust MY god, my sponsor, and people again. Now that I have set my hand to the plow, will I turn back? Not on your life!(maybe I won't be so exuberant after doing one like you have!)
Most of the really tough things I have done so far in recovery have been emotionally draining and not the kind of thing you want to do every day. Pray for the willingness to continue.....