First Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 33
First Day
Today is my first day of sobriety and hopefully the beginning of a better life. I'd like to tell you what has triggered this need to change.
I have been a functioning alcoholic for about eight years. I never seen my drinking as a real problem because I was always able to get up and do my job. In fact most people would have no idea that I was drinking almost every night. I wait until my girlfriend goes to bed (she likes to go to bed early) and then I sneak to my car or behind the fireplace (depending on where I've hidden the drink) and bring out the whiskey. I used to mainly drink wine but in the last year have moved to whisky mainly because it's stronger. I pretend that it's just a night cap but I know deep down it's more. I spend most evenings wishing my girlfriend would go to bed so I can have a drink. I actually feel myself getting irritable if she stays up.
My weeks consist of pushing through to the weekend so that I can have a drink without having to sneak one. My weekends consist of drinking until I pass out (my girlfriend lets me drink at the weekend) and then spending the next day in a haze until I can have another drink.
This weekend was the final straw. I was at a wedding on Friday and got myself absolutely hammered. Started an argument with my girlfriend because I was drunk. The next day on the drive home I stopped at a shop bought a bottle of whiskey and began drinking it at 11:30 am. My girlfriend went for a sleep to recover from her hangover and I proceeded to drink the whole bottle of whiskey and any other drink I could find. I was looking after our 11 month old child while being hammered. Nothing happened and she is fine however my behavior is unacceptable. I then started another argument with my girlfriend before passing out. My girlfriend was working on Sunday and I was hungover (as usual) and was in charge of our daughter. I went straight to the shop and bought more whiskey and began drinking again. My girlfriend came home from work and I knew she would be pissed off because I was drunk again so I had already packed my bag.
I went to my sisters flat and bought more whiskey and drank until i passed out. I woke on Monday feeling terrible I was shaking, I felt weak, anxious, I was sweating basically I was undergoing withdrawal symptoms. I didn't turn up for work and in fact didn't even call in sick. I read that going cold turkey was dangerous so last night I drank a smaller amount of whiskey. I woke up at 5:00 am sweating and couldn't sleep. I am at work right now drinking water and still not feeling great. I am determined that I will not drink tonight I have admitted everything to my girlfriend and hope to win her back I have also admitted what has been going on to my family.
I only joined this site today however I have read a number of posts over the last year. The fact I had been looking on here before is a sign that I've known for a while that I have a problem. I joined today because I finally plan to do something about it.
There is one certainty, alcohol has added nothing positive to my life and I need to stop.
I have been a functioning alcoholic for about eight years. I never seen my drinking as a real problem because I was always able to get up and do my job. In fact most people would have no idea that I was drinking almost every night. I wait until my girlfriend goes to bed (she likes to go to bed early) and then I sneak to my car or behind the fireplace (depending on where I've hidden the drink) and bring out the whiskey. I used to mainly drink wine but in the last year have moved to whisky mainly because it's stronger. I pretend that it's just a night cap but I know deep down it's more. I spend most evenings wishing my girlfriend would go to bed so I can have a drink. I actually feel myself getting irritable if she stays up.
My weeks consist of pushing through to the weekend so that I can have a drink without having to sneak one. My weekends consist of drinking until I pass out (my girlfriend lets me drink at the weekend) and then spending the next day in a haze until I can have another drink.
This weekend was the final straw. I was at a wedding on Friday and got myself absolutely hammered. Started an argument with my girlfriend because I was drunk. The next day on the drive home I stopped at a shop bought a bottle of whiskey and began drinking it at 11:30 am. My girlfriend went for a sleep to recover from her hangover and I proceeded to drink the whole bottle of whiskey and any other drink I could find. I was looking after our 11 month old child while being hammered. Nothing happened and she is fine however my behavior is unacceptable. I then started another argument with my girlfriend before passing out. My girlfriend was working on Sunday and I was hungover (as usual) and was in charge of our daughter. I went straight to the shop and bought more whiskey and began drinking again. My girlfriend came home from work and I knew she would be pissed off because I was drunk again so I had already packed my bag.
I went to my sisters flat and bought more whiskey and drank until i passed out. I woke on Monday feeling terrible I was shaking, I felt weak, anxious, I was sweating basically I was undergoing withdrawal symptoms. I didn't turn up for work and in fact didn't even call in sick. I read that going cold turkey was dangerous so last night I drank a smaller amount of whiskey. I woke up at 5:00 am sweating and couldn't sleep. I am at work right now drinking water and still not feeling great. I am determined that I will not drink tonight I have admitted everything to my girlfriend and hope to win her back I have also admitted what has been going on to my family.
I only joined this site today however I have read a number of posts over the last year. The fact I had been looking on here before is a sign that I've known for a while that I have a problem. I joined today because I finally plan to do something about it.
There is one certainty, alcohol has added nothing positive to my life and I need to stop.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Steven 
Really glad you posted. I am sure you will find lots of support here. Have you thought about talking to your doctor. They can help you detox safely and point you in the right direction of support in your area x
Really glad you posted. I am sure you will find lots of support here. Have you thought about talking to your doctor. They can help you detox safely and point you in the right direction of support in your area x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 33
I was hoping that just being on here and reminding myself that I have a beautiful daughter to think about will be enough to keep me sober. I have never actually tried to quit before so have no idea what to expect other than reading the posts on here. I will keep posting and hopefully my resolve can get me through.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,786
to SR! Here's a thread you might find interesting about quitting.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 33
Thanks for posting that thread there was some really useful info on there and it was comforting to read other peoples experiences. I'm feeling slightly better (slight headache) but I'm worried about tonight I know I'm going to have trouble sleeping.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Hi Steve, welcome to SR 
Glad you are here...
Please be very careful with your detoxing... detoxing from alcohol can be deadly, not sure if you aware of this. Please let another person know you will be detoxing at least, even if you don't get medical attention.
Glad you are here...Please be very careful with your detoxing... detoxing from alcohol can be deadly, not sure if you aware of this. Please let another person know you will be detoxing at least, even if you don't get medical attention.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by stevenw198 
Thanks for posting that thread there was some really useful info on there and it was comforting to read other peoples experiences. I'm feeling slightly better (slight headache) but I'm worried about tonight I know I'm going to have trouble sleeping.
And remember that your medical records are private. Going to your doctor and getting advice on how to handle detoxing from alcohol is no different from a medical record standpoint than telling them that you have a stomach problem or any other health ailment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 33
Soberjennie and ScottFromW1 thank you for your kind words and advice. I will be staying with my sister for a few days so I won't be alone. I really don't think the detox will be too bad for me. My drinking during the week wasn't too heavy just a half bottle most nights and I rarely drank on a Monday because I play football.
I struggled yesterday but this was due to drinking the equivalent of 4 bottles of whiskey in three days. I was really struggling but feeling better today just got a slight headache and some fatigue.
I think exercise and sports will be the key for me as mentioned I used to give Monday a miss and slept OK because of playing football. I'm worried about sleeping tonight though I know I'll have the sweats and won't sleep well. I also have nothing planned for tonight so boredom will set in but I'm determined not to drink.
I'll post again tomorrow and let you know how I got on. Thanks again.
I struggled yesterday but this was due to drinking the equivalent of 4 bottles of whiskey in three days. I was really struggling but feeling better today just got a slight headache and some fatigue.
I think exercise and sports will be the key for me as mentioned I used to give Monday a miss and slept OK because of playing football. I'm worried about sleeping tonight though I know I'll have the sweats and won't sleep well. I also have nothing planned for tonight so boredom will set in but I'm determined not to drink.
I'll post again tomorrow and let you know how I got on. Thanks again.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad to year you have some help Steven. Just make sure your sister knows. While severe withdrawal symptoms are rare, they are possible and can pop up at any time. Better to be safe than sorry!
My sleep was horrible the first couple weeks too. The bad stuff ( sweats, panic/anxiety dreams, etc ) only lasted for a week or 10 days. After that I still had some sleep problems, but once hit a month or so i was sleeping all night, which was awesome. I still remember waking up at 3am/4am or so when I was still drinking becasue I'm assuming that's when most of the alcohol wore off, never want to have to deal with that again
You are making a great choice, best of luck in the process. Stay close to SR and do lots of reading, you can do this!
My sleep was horrible the first couple weeks too. The bad stuff ( sweats, panic/anxiety dreams, etc ) only lasted for a week or 10 days. After that I still had some sleep problems, but once hit a month or so i was sleeping all night, which was awesome. I still remember waking up at 3am/4am or so when I was still drinking becasue I'm assuming that's when most of the alcohol wore off, never want to have to deal with that again
You are making a great choice, best of luck in the process. Stay close to SR and do lots of reading, you can do this!
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