fedupbeyondall

Or better yet should have done as this transpired last night. Scenario is Mr. Wonderful went to a work thing last night that I couldn't attend. He drove there, there was beer and wine served. He says he only had one glass of wine when he got there and didn't leave for over 4 hours. So from a legal perspective in our state he wasn't drunk driving, technically. But knowing his penchant for being less than truthful I'm not sure if I believe him or not. I also specifically told him, if he was going to drink to tell me and I would figure out how to get him home (we only have the one car). He didn't do that and said it wasn't a big deal since he only had one drink in 4 hours. Should I be mad? Should I trust him? He wasn't his usual drunk self when he got home so I'm just not sure. I kind of feel however I responded to this I was enabling him in some way. Either letting him drink and inconviencing myself to pick him up, going with and being DD yet again, or telling him he couldn't go at all thereby controlling the situation.

Tuffgirl

Well, its over, right? So now you have more information, i.e. he can't go to an "event" where alcohol is served without drinking.

You can't prevent him from going, either. He's a grown man. And you can't force someone not to drive (without considerable force, that is). So what can you do? Let it go.

Remember the three C's. You didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it.

wicked

If you have only one car,
geez, I would have a hard time letting him drive it anywhere.
I am a recovering alcoholic.
I know how many "2" drinks means in reality.

He could wreck your only transportation.
I mean, an accident could happen anytime for sure,
but when a drunk is driving, hmmm, odds go waaaaaay up!

Yeah, Tuffgirl is right though.

Why does he have to attend a work thing that includes drinking?
He certainly wasn't forced to drink anything, and for safety's sake, should not drink at all.
There is nothing you can do, as Tuffgirl said.

But, why drink anything while he is there?
He stays sober, no problem driving there and back.
someone says, hey have a drink.
he says, no thank you, i am driving.
This is all up to him and the problem is....it is all up to him.

Beth

EnglishGarden

It might be helpful to read chapters 2 and 3 of the AA Big Book. It helped me realize what "loss of control" really is in alcoholism.

The big book can be read online at Big Book Online Fourth Edition.