LUCAN

My wife of nearly 21 years is an everyday drunk. There's not much left, and i'm not sure what I'm trying to find here. I have a 13 year old daughter that I try to protect as best as possible. Would love to leave and raise my daughter on my own- away from the destructive actions of my drunk wife. It will cost me my business and house.

Losing the house will be harder for my daughter than for me. In fact everything about this will be harder on her than me. My wife has nothing left to offer me. She loves her wine more than her family. I guess that's not true. Actually I'm not sure. Don't know how the business will filter out. That is much more complex than the marriage.

I have no idea what this site can offer me. I guess I'm just looking for a place to vent.

Deckard

Hi Lucan, Welcome to SR. I'm sorry to hear about this tragic situation.

I can tell you what this site offered me: the realization that I was not alone, and that there were tons of good people who could give me advice and support because they had been right where I was.

There is a "Friends and Family" forum on SR that is full of folks who are currently in or have been in your shoes....

least

You've got a lot on your plate right now. It must be exhausting for you to maintain a home and business and family with your wife always drunk.


I hope you can find some peace in your life.

The forum mentioned is this one. You might post there also for additional insight.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Nonsensical

As hard as being a recovering alcoholic has been, I am positive watching someone I love being addicted would be worse. My heart goes out to you.

When you have an hour, watch the documentary series called "Pleasure Unwoven" on Youtube. Addiction: Is addiction really a disease? (DVD Trailer) - YouTube
At least it will help you understand what is going on inside your wife's head.

Best of Luck.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Lucan

I am sorry for what you are having to deal with. Has your wife ever expressed an interest in quitting drinking?

Living

Welcome! Sorry you are going through this. I also loved my wine and put my family through hell. Best wishes and keep posting.

Debe5

I am sure you are angry and resentful, understandably. I am sure it feels like she likes her wine more than her family but she is not in control the wine is. If she is like me she will blame you to make herself feel better. It is hard to admit to the people we love that we have a problem. It is even harder to admit to ourselves. Would she/you be willing to go to counseling, it helped myself and marriage immensely. No matter what love her unconditionally, treat her with respect even when she doesn't deserve it, your daughter is watching. Your wife is hurting, and truly fighting for her life, although she may not realize it yet.. You are not alone, just read the stories on this forum. Sending comfort, hope, peace your way.

honeypig

I'd like to suggest you find an Alanon meeting in your area and attend; perhaps your daughter can go to an Alateen meeting. Not everyone finds this helpful, but an awful lot of us do, and it's surely worth a try for the both of you. You'll meet many others who have been where you are now and who will share their wisdom and experience to help you sort out your life and what you need to do (kind of like this forum, only in person!).

Please do as much reading as you can here, and don't miss the stickied threads at the top of each section. There is a lot of useful material there that may help you get going in the right direction also.

I'd like to second those who suggested you take a look in the "Family and Friends of Alcoholics" part of this forum. The postings there will probably resonate the most w/you and offer you the most insight into what you need to do to take care of yourself and your daughter.

Wishing you some peace and clarity today, at some point.

Saliena

My heart goes out to you... your walk isn't an easy one. I pray that the decisions you make will lead you to happiness and your wife to soberity. I almost lost everything my husband, my home, and I DID lose my job. Got walked out of a six figure job because I loved the wine more then I loved my job. That was the bottom line. I finally got the help after several times in and otu of the program.

I like when some of the other people have shared about AlNon and Ala-Teen.

Good luck!