IsThisMe

Hi all,

I've found a meeting near me today and after this weekend I really think I need to go. I've read all the threads on the meetings and still don't quite know what to expect.

Take as I go seems to be the mantra these days.

Will update after the meeting.. Hope I learn something

Hammer

All meetings and places are all a little different, but also near the same.

Just go. Nothing needs to be perfect. Just better. And it will be.

IsThisMe

Well that was crazy and emotional and informative. Amazing how you can relate to so many people and they you.

The hard thing is, there's hope and there is also sad, sad despair and futile years wasted.
How do you know the difference before you walk the road?

I don't know if I want to start walking or run like mad in the opposite direction.

GracieLou

It is your life and you have to choose what is best for you. You only get one life or lifetime.

Just as the alcoholic or addict has to choose to get help or stay where they are are. You can not help or decide their decisions anymore they can make yours.

Wavy

Well done for going to that first meeting, I know it can be daunting!

We don't know the difference before we walk the road, or none of us would have chosen to walk down it I'm sure! You can only make the choices you think are best for you at the time. And that is where I know I fell down, because I made choices that were in other people's best interests instead of mine.

There are no wasted years. Every year has gotten you closer to this point, to finding this opportunity to change and grow, painful tho they are, they are all worthwhile to be here, now and to have hope for the future. Every choice you make in the future that doesn't turn out how you wanted, is a chance to learn. I've found flipping my attitude (which is difficult for sure!) makes all the difference, nothing is futile any more and everything is hopeful for me (not necessarily my relationships etc, but for my own happiness and peace of mind).

You've already taken a great first step of reaching out for help, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll be on your way

Hammer

Having done both at various times, I would recommend taking the medicine and getting better.

Really.

atalose

[QUOTEI don't know if I want to start walking or run like mad in the opposite direction. ][/QUOTE]

Nothing says you have to make that decision today!! You just got your feet wet with al-anon, give it a chance and be patient with yourself.

IsThisMe

Oh I didn't mean with al anon...

I meant the road to his sobriety (if ever)

I still have the chance here to run... Relationship over, no going back from physical violence. Which, I think is the direction to go in.

I WILL however go to al anon again. I still need to help myself recover from it all

atalose

Physical violence is NEVER acceptable and nothing says that even if he got sober the violence would stop.

I agree get out and away from the danger.

wicked

Nope, can't get back from that.
Going to the meetings will give you a sharper eye for the next one.
You will learn a great deal about yourself and what you will and won't tolerate.
Already, you know no violence.

Next, what is good for you?

Beth