Acheleus

No fags or beers. Still craving due to stress and inability to concentrate. Miserable because my knee is messed up and cannot exercise. Feeling like the end of my sobriety may be near. This is not good.

Pat S

Hang in there.

Just don't drink today...

The booze will always be there tomorrow.

Best of luck!

Pat

ScottFromWI

The craving is due to addiction Acheleus, not stress. Your body and mind were built from the ground up to deal with stress without alcohol, and it actually screws things up and makes them worse. The "end" of your sobriety that you feel is merely your addiction trying to creep back into your life and make things worse. You have 100% control over whether it does or not.

Olive1

Hi Acheleus,

Please don't drink.

This too shall pass.

Soberpotamus

Acheleus, can you get your hands on some L-Glutamine powder? I know were are not supposed to suggest medical things to people on here, so I must add to see a doctor before taking anything.

Please do a google search on this powder. It's an amino acid that is naturally occurring in the body and is harmless to take (disclaimer, please consult a doc).

It helps with cravings and blood sugar issues. Many people swear by it. I take it daily. I don't have cravings.

Also, please see this: Urge Surfing – Relapse Prevention – Mindfulness

And please try not to catastrophize. Don't allow things to build in your mind. Stay focused on your #1 priority... not taking the first drink. Just for today.

Acheleus

I got some aleve. It is very painful to walk. I can mess up anything, even exercise. I feel like my body is used to cigarettes, beer, and bad food, sonow that I am not having those things I feel strange. Something is wrong with me, I guess I cannot handle stress, had a test today I did not do well on.

Dee74

I might have missed it, but have you considered seeing someone about your knee?

D

soberclover

Relapsing won't help; it will only make things worse. Getting advice maybe from a professional about your pain makes sense. Don't use it as an excuse to relapse. I have a physical scheduled on Monday I AM NOT looking forward to but I KNOW I need to do it. I'm learning how to not drink but I'm also learning how to take care of myself...it isn't always easy but it is possible. YOU can do this.

Acheleus

Well I rested and now I can walk without it hurting, but it still feels tight. I want to go out tonight just to get out of my own head, but I don't know what to do, I don't want to go hear music because I am afraid I will drink, but I want to go out and do something. Today is only day 22 but I feel like I have been sober for years. Maybe I will just stay in and study then write or do something productive. I feel like I am missing out.

Nuudawn

Whoa whoa Ache. Soooo? You cannot handle the adversity you are struggling with? Hurting knee..can't exercise..poor test results and the best answer to these problems are at the bottom of a bottle? Feeling a little wah wah are we? Yaaa..that will solve everything man! Your knee will miraculously recover..your test results will magically turn out well and you'll be able to run a marathon tomorrow. C'mon now..get real. It is NO answer it's defeat. Really the addiction is stronger than you?? It is not and you know it. So you can't run because your knee needs to rest. So rest your knee. You don't know about the test..so wait it out..not the end of the world. Settle down..breathe..think it through. JUST GET THROUGH TODAY.
You really want to go back to your old life cuz it was oh sooooo much better? You wanna be boozin 'er up at the pub? Ya..all the cool folks do that right. Really productive people give it over to alcohol when they JUST WANT IT. Uh no they don't..they do what's best for themselves. Don't Ache...

Just give yourself a break and relax a little. You are being WAY to hard on yourself.

Acheleus

The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski (read by Tom O'Bedlam) - YouTube

Nuudawn

That's a lovely poem Ache. I just stepped out to the grocery store and I was thinking of you. I thought..hey isn't dude a writer or poet. Why the heck isn't he channeling his misery into writing about the defeat he is feeling?

Acheleus

I just did a lot of writing. I am still debating whether to head into town. I know I can't trust myself, and besides my knee is still jacked up. Tonight I will sleep down early.

Nuudawn

I really hope you hang in there. I'll be looking for your Day 23 update tomorrow. I guess if I don't see one......

Pedro1234

Hang in there Acheleus. If you need support stay on line here rather than being tempted and going out. Things will improve over time but it will just take a little longer than 22 days

trikyriky

Whoa...... First off congratulations on Day 22. Your AV is messing with you ..... He's saying " look how far you've come , let's have some " or similar. He wants to get high / drunk. He's a worthless lump of crapola , who can't get it without YOU , and you don't , so there it is ..,..

Acheleus

Yea I don't need booze or other people. Now I need to go get something to make for dinner and I have to study all night again. But I did play guitar and worked on writing some songs, and I always feel happy when my creativity comes back when I quit drinking. Being drunk just takes all my motivation and energy away. I will let the people in town have while I cook and study up for my quiz tomorrow. Thank you guys for your help, I did feel the itch today for some reason, I don't know why, I just wanted to have a drink and a cigarette; but I almost at a month and it would be stupid to throw away all this time.

Mizzuno

Acheleus. Ya know everytime I think of your name, I think of the song Aquarius.....
THis is the dawning of the age of ACHELEUS
Age of ACHELEUS!
ACHELEUS! ACHELEUUUUUSSSSS!


( You can do this A. )

Nighthawk8820

Hey, I dont appreciate the "fag" comment. JK, I know they are ciggs where you are from. Congrats on the 22 days!!! You are a lot stronger than I thought, so feel proud and carry on. Its always darkest right before the dawn.

Nuudawn

Beautiful.