AStarisborn

I think I’ve finally reached rock bottom. Alcohol is beginning to destroy my life, although when caught up in the moment I feel like I’m having the best time of my life. It has cost me family and some friends. Alcoholism/Addiction run in my family and I never thought I would fall prey to it. This is how it all began:

When I first started drinking alcohol, I hated the taste of it. It was not my thing and I couldn’t understand why people enjoyed it. A few years later, I started promoting events in my city and I would find myself drinking (not many drinks), but every night I was out. I would get drunk easily, perhaps off 1 to 2 drinks. A few years later, I started having problems with my so-called boyfriend. We broke up and I was devastated behind it. I found myself self-medicating and I started drinking wine daily. It went from 1 bottle of wine getting me drunk and taking 3 days to finish, to 1 bottle of wine a night barely giving me any buzz. I started drinking harder alcohol, going from Vodka to Rum to Whiskey. I’ll drink anything if it gives me a buzz. I now drink daily. Every night I go home, I drink just a little of anything to mellow me out. Oddly, I never feel mellow, I just find that I need to drink something.

Drinking is ruining my life and I want to stop. It’s caused me to gain 20lbs, lose friends and have affected my relationship with my family. I used to hide my addiction, but I’ve gotten very careless and will drink anywhere and in front of anyone. I want to stop. It makes me soo sad when I think about it now.

I contemplated AA meetings but at my young age, I’m not sure I’m ready to confront such demons out in the open in front of soo many people. I’ve decided perhaps this message board can be of some support. Today I’m beginning my road to sobriety. One day at a time. Wish me luck guys.

Nonsensical

Good Luck!

And Welcome to SR. There are many methods for approaching a new sober life, and many do not involve attending meetings. Read around the forums to learn about them. Maybe one will be a good fit for you.

AStarisborn

Thank you!

least

to the family! You're never too young to start on a better life. I'm glad you found us and joined our international family! You'll find lots of support here.

Ghostlight

Hello, and welcome.
I followed your progression, too.
I went from an occasional drinker to drinking moderately to a full blown alcoholic.

I, too, went from beer (didn't like wine) to vodka to whiskey. This was over the course of years.
It got so bad I would wait for the liquor store to open in the morning and buy a twelve pack and a couple of shooters of whiskey. The whiskey wouldn't even make the three blocks home, I'd drink them on the way to kick things in.

At the hieght of my drinking I was drinking every day. Progressed to vodka. Then I tried every other day figuring this wouldn't classify me as an alcoholic.
Like you, I drank any place any time and I didn't care because everyone knew I was a drunk.
When I think of the living I missed it makes me ill.

The liquor store owners and bartenders didn't like to see me coming as they knew I was destroying my life. And I was young. But this went on for years.
After a bad withdrawal, I was scared. I drank for a little while longer then gave it up. You can, too. Although it may requirer more than luck.
Why not check out an AA meeting? I've met teenagers in the rooms.

I hope this place helps you as much as it has me. Post as often as you like. Many of us here are successfuly not drinking.

Your story breaks my heart as I know all too well where you're coming from. I've been there.

Best to you and you CAN quit drinking.

Dollyangel17

Welcome! Alcoholism does have a way of progressing like that. For me, I always liked drinking, but usually only drank on the weekends, and didn't often drink so much I would get drunk. The last five years however, it progressed to daily drinking (but not overly much...2-3 glasses of wine a night), then to 4-6 drinks a night, then finally to morning drinking (which began about a year ago). I didn't even get buzzed most times, and rarely enjoyed it...just had to do it.

I knew something had to change, and so didn't my husband who confronted me one night. I have been sober now for 41 days, and starting to really embrace this new lifestyle. It will be hard some days, but so very worth it!!

Glad you are joining us.

oak

Welcome! I hope you find what you need here. Keep posting.

If you ever decide to try AA, there are meetings for young people- at least in some cities. I went to those meetings years ago and liked them. There are lots of other recovery programs too (SMART, LifeRing, Women for Sobriety, SOS, NA). But some people stay sober without meetings. I go through periods where I go to meetings and periods where I do not go.

AStarisborn

Thank you for all of your encouraging words. It means soo much.

Right now there's half of pint of rum in my house, didn't drink any of it last night and this morning I woke up feeling refreshed. I usually drink at night before going to bed and sometimes I'll drink before I head to work in the mornings. Right now, that urge is completely gone and I feel super for the future. I really feel I can do this, but I know it'll be a day by day thing. There will be days when the urge will be bad or the temptation will be there and that'll be the real challenge. I'm very Happy that I found this forum because I really do believe reading the encouraging stories when times will be hard will really help me through.

Good luck to everyone on the road to sobriety and continued success to those who've reached their goals

AStarisborn

I forgot to add, I also started noticing alcohol would trigger depression, regret, and shame and that's such an awful feeling. For once, it felt good to wake up and not have these awful feelings/emotions

Marjoram

Welcome, welcome....and please dump out that rum. I made the mistake of not dumping out my whiskey yesterday, and I crawled back into that bottle.

We all share similar experiences here, and openly share them, which is what helps us realize we are not alone.

As with many, I have learned to buy my booze at 5 different stores - don't want them to see me as often or they'll think I have a drinking problem. Would crack the bottle many a times on the way home, just to take a couple sips. But, that wasn't a problem, because I wasn't drunk yet. Then when I got home, I'd open the bottle, and why wait for the ice to cool it down....just take a few more sips. And it just became a daily routine, of always drinking.....the bottle is empty, go buy more.

Sad how it started out that I never drank....I was in my mid-20's when I started. And it was just an occasional thing. But, I guess it was meant to be for me to become an alcoholic. And now it is meant to be that I become sober.

So, together here, we all are on this journey together. Lean on everyone you can, read the stories to inspire you, and most of all we are glad you are here. Life only gets better sober. My longest run was nearly five months....and I loved it. I want that back, permanently.

Be well.

Crossfitdad

I think having to hit rock bottom is a myth and it may tend to give alcoholics a reason to delay their sobriety. "After all, I'm not at rock bottom, sobriety won't stick...I might as well keep going until I am."

Best of luck to you.

FeenixxRising

Hi Star. There are many young people who attend AA so don't let that stop you from at least checking out a few meetings. Also, you don't have to confront your demons in the open and in front of other people. You can simply attend meetings and just listen--that's what I'm currently doing, and I find it helpful.

I'd suggest checking out various AA groups in your area. Each group is a little different. You can just sit and listen. If you find it's not for you, then you can stop attending. I spoke with a guy who is 6 years sober from using AA. He said he did nothing but attend meetings for the first year, he didn't work the steps and he didn't have a sponsor. IMO being around others who have had the same problem and experiences can be very helpful.

And of course, keep posting and reading here, you will find a lot of support.

Soberpotamus

Welcome to SR! I hope you find something here that will help you. It's a great supportive community. AA isn't the only way, but it does help some. Just be willing to try whatever it takes! Stopping before your addiction progresses is imperative. It can really sneak up on you and take years of your life away. Be honest with yourself about how it is affecting you. Good luck!

Danae

Hi,

AA isn't an all or nothing proposition. I went a few times although "it wasn't my thing" and met some nice people. Just being in a room with other people going through similar things was comforting. And they gave me a copy of the Big Book which although I didn't continue with AA I found very helpful. Knowing there was a place I could go was also good. And many of the people there were young, although I guess that varies by location.

Good luck and good for you for posting!