carlyle

I have read many post and a lot recommend AA.

I live in a small town. I am a recent transplant here for a semi high profile job. Meetings may be great, and but i am frightened by people in the general public and community knowing about my dependency issues.

I am a high functioning alcoholic that realizes i need to make a change before it does become destructive.

Does anyone have recommendations aside from AA, or does anyone in AA have comment to ease my fear?

Threshold

The members of AA covenant with one another (as a group) to not out each other. Since we don't want our business broadcast around, most of us are pretty respectful of this. It is one of the principle foundations that make AA possible.

Yes, occasionally there will be someone who will blabber, but that is true of any people anywhere. Whether or not we do AA, someone may talk about our drinking.

The information regarding where and when AA meetings take place is available to anyone who looks for it. It's possible that someone would park outside a meeting place and watch who goes in and out, but I can't say I've seen that happening. There is no secret knock or code or anything.

ScottFromWI

The second A stands for "Anonymous" for a reason. Not only that, but everyone attending either has their own dependency issues or knows someone who does. This seemes to be one of the most common questions asked, and people's fears are 100 percent unfounded.

Another way to look at it is that whether you think so or not, most people already know we have a drinking problem, as much as we like to think we can hide it. So would you rather be known as an active alhoholic, or a recovering one?

Pamel

Generally speaking your anonymity is secure; after all everyone is there for the same reason. That said, I HATE people who feel compelled to demonstrate their "honesty" about sobriety by giving their last name. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW IT!! Privately, it is, of course their right to tell people, but anonymity is "the spiritual foundation" of this program.

I do not want to be "googled", approached for a job, etc. so do be careful just to use your first name (and last name initial if you wish).

The cases of someone being "outed" are rare indeed. Go and rest assured you are "safe", and better for being there than not. I belong to a high profile business and club with quite a few AA people in it; we say high cordially but NEVER elaborate on why we know each other (a situation where a small lie agreed upon between each other is acceptable).

carlyle

ScottFromWI,

Got it... I imagine there are many others our there with the same fear though...

Living and working in organizations, i do not underestimate the realities of human social behavior while in and out of organizations. I can intellectually recognize this fear as my own barrier to sobriety. But it is also real.

I am three days in and I guess i am still in that spot of thinking I can do it on my own with other support systems, like my wife, and finding this site has been incredible. It has always been recommended to journal thoughts... This has been a great way to journal. but, it is better because the responses from others with the same experience make it so much more enriching and hold me accountable. This forum is the first time i have acknowledged the truth of my beer drinking.

Thanks so much!

hypochondriac

I would recommend AVRT if you want to avoid meetings. That said I don't think you need to be worried at meetings. If you see anyone else you know there or people related to your work they are there for the same reason. See them as an ally rather than worrying they'll out you. I do understand your fears as mine were the same but that only lasted til I got through the door. All my fears dissipated pretty soon after that x

Fandy

close to home you are bound to run into people who may blab. I keep my personal life private and separate from my business life.

if you wish to be anonymous, you have to be realistic and go outside of your general area, especialy if you live in a close knit community. (this is of course JMHO).

I work in the medical field and although your privacy is to be protected, it is not, people tend to gossip, i hear things about patients all the time....(no I do not gossip, but i think i am in the minority)

upandup

Are there other towns or meetings in the area that you could attend? One AA member works as a substance abuse counselor in one town and attends AA in another.

wiscsober

you might want to check out the other forums concerning recovery from alcoholism that are not affilliated with AA.

I found the breaking anonymity has occured more in larger cities like Milwaukee, Washington D.C., and L.A. where there are more alcoholics known publicly in political and entertainment arenas.

I am by no means of "public importance," but still I feel safe in my homegroup. Specific details about my personal life I don't share in a group, but work them out with my family and a sponsor. I don't see any need airing my dirty laundry in a meeting.

Very early in my recovery some details I only spoke about in groups; in Narcotics Anonymous came back to my alcoholic/addict wife by some very sick male addicts. A few reasons I haven't attended NA in a long time. Honestly, I just find AAers more caring, mature, and sensible.

Common sense is not to be taken lightly. Best to you always!

Anna

Some posts were removed from this thread because they were heading towards problems.

Try to stick to the OP's original topic.