want to change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
want to change
im not sure if im doing this right or if this is even going to helpbut i thought i would try it. im scared im going to loss everything wife kids all of it if i dont quit i really hate being that person who cant stop drinking after i start i hide it from her till i pass out or dont remember anything i want to be a better person so this is day two of no drinking i want to be the right kind of father and husband they deserve so i thought i could come here for some emothional support thanks for listening
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
to the family! I'm glad you joined us. You'll find plenty of support here. What sort of plan do you have to stay sober? AA, counseling, outpatient treatment - do you have a plan to stay sober? I've stayed sober over three years now with the help of this site and my counselor.
And I once thought I was hopeless but I'm not. Neither are you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome JVET! You found a great place - one that helped me quit after drinking for 30 yrs. The support, friendship, and encouragement here is amazing. We all understand how you're feeling.
I was like you - I had no off switch. I'd intend to have just one or two, but it was always drinking until drunk or passed out. I finally had to admit there was no control once it got in my system - and it was easier to just stop all together. You can do it. We're glad you're here.
You found a great place - one that helped me quit after drinking for 30 yrs. The support, friendship, and encouragement here is amazing. We all understand how you're feeling.I was like you - I had no off switch. I'd intend to have just one or two, but it was always drinking until drunk or passed out. I finally had to admit there was no control once it got in my system - and it was easier to just stop all together. You can do it. We're glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 430
Welcome to SR, JVET. Glad you are here.
Good idea on the journal. Some of the stuff I wrote in the fog of a binge has been incredibly helpful to me in understanding my thought processes and identifying some things I needed to address or make peace with. Great tool.
Good idea on the journal. Some of the stuff I wrote in the fog of a binge has been incredibly helpful to me in understanding my thought processes and identifying some things I needed to address or make peace with. Great tool.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Keep reaching out for support JVET. The first few days of detox suck but life gets better after that. Life has some curve balls for sure but it is soooooooooooo much easier to handle without the alcohol. I do hope you give sobriety a chance....it is a much better way to live!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
well theres alot my drinking just makes it worse shes bored cause she has to stay at home with the kids all the time i was hiding my drinking which is wrong completly so when i got home she would want to go out so only thing to do around me is hit bars so maybe if she goes to school she wont want to go out at night im the one who always suggest it but becasue there nothing else going on and i hated her bored
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Well what will you do at night if she goes to school? Does she know about your drinking and desire to quit now or are you keeping that from her? Are there no movie theatres around? Maybe you could take some sort of class together? Cooking maybe? I dunno...sobriety is a pretty big undertaking..is she in on it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
yes well she found out the other day i was hiding it when i passed out drunk well shes gonna go to class during day time and will be off when im off we have young kids so going out is hard anyways so if she has something to do during day she might not be so bored and want to go out just stay at home with kids and i dont want my son to see me like that ever again
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Well it's good that she knows what you're trying to do. Staying sober has to be your priority above all else. You have to look after you and she has to look after her. You can't fix her hon..anymore than she can fix you. It's wonderful that you care about her well being and want to be a good husband and father for your son. You will do that sober. You obviously support her but she has to figure out what will make her happy. You can't do that you can only support her efforts to do so.
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hey JVET
Welcome aboard - grab an oar and join the good ship SR.
Something you might want to do in the early days is just have a read around the different ways people have got help with sobriety. Some go to AA, some just come here, some use AVRT (for the first few months here I assumed that was just a radio station they listened to, but apparently there's more to it than that), etc.
A couple of resource I found useful are:
A large collection of AA speaker tapes for downloading: XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
An old but excellent talk on alcoholism: Father Martin's "Chalk Talk on Alcoholism" on Vimeo
God bless +
Michael
Welcome aboard - grab an oar and join the good ship SR.
Something you might want to do in the early days is just have a read around the different ways people have got help with sobriety. Some go to AA, some just come here, some use AVRT (for the first few months here I assumed that was just a radio station they listened to, but apparently there's more to it than that), etc.
A couple of resource I found useful are:
A large collection of AA speaker tapes for downloading: XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
An old but excellent talk on alcoholism: Father Martin's "Chalk Talk on Alcoholism" on Vimeo
God bless +
Michael
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