Rebelives

Once upon a time I was tee-total. I lived, I laughed and looked forward to fun-filled weekends with my family. Now, 5 years later I drink every weekend to the point where I have no recollection of the night before and have to run to my Facebook each morning for fear of what i've written, nearly always over indulgent, cringeworthy dribble. Or declarations of love for people I normally couldn't care less about. The hangovers are so bad I no longer go anywhere at the weekends therefore I suffer, my husband suffers and primarily my children suffer. I'm so over weight (for me), because of the amount of beer I get through and if I don't have to be up in the week I drink then too, in fact I drink at every possible opportunity. I HAVE to stop, I need to stop..please can someone help me...

yukonm

Welcome to our community. I am glad that you found us. You recognize that you HAVE to stop and NEED to stop but the main thing is....do you WANT to stop? We are here to support and encourage you but the work has to come from you. Getting and maintaining sobriety is not easy BUT it is possible.
Read some literature on Alcoholism, browse through the forums here. There's lots of information for you. You could start a journal so that you can record your progress, thoughts etc. Make a list of 'Why You Should Stop Drinking' and refer to it often. Seek face-to face support and in the meantime, continue to come here and post.
My name is Mary and I am an alcoholic. Each morning upon awakening I pray, meditate, read and reach out to others in recovery. I find when I do this I start my day grounded in recovery and spiritually centered. I did not get here on my own. I have had the encouragement of online recovery and the fellowship of AA as well as a loving and supportive church family. I cannot say what will work for you only share my experience strength and hope. There are many paths to recovery. We may not take the same road but we ARE on the same journey. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. After over 40 years of drinking and using I have been sober and clean since 8/21/07.
I wish you success.

Anna

Welcome!

If you want to stop and you're very motivated, then you can do it. I think it's important to remember that stopping drinking is just the beginning. I needed to deal with the underlying issues (that I'd avoided) in order to recover. So, it's hard work, but so worth it.

Rebelives

Thank you so much Mary, I do definitely want to stop, I want to be able to wake up and face my children without this horrible guilt..each morning when I wake i suffer with really bad panic attacks from the early hours of the morning and by the time I have to get out of bed i'm exhausted and scared of how bad my hangover will be, I hate it so much and I hate myself for allowing myself to get into the same state each and ever weekend. Well done on your recovery, your amazing, I just hope I can be a success like you one day. Well, my journey starts here...

Mountainmanbob

Midlifecrisis

Best of luck to you. I can definitely relate to your feelings. Keep posting and stay strong

Nighthawk8820

Oh lord, does this sound familiar!!!! I was in the EXACT same position down to the checking facebook and cringing at my posts each morning. Its no way to live my friend, and you can make a change, but you have to really want it. Its a long journey, but so rewarding. Dont let pride or fear stop you from changing your life for the better. Trust me, I was EXACTLY like you, and in 2 short years, my life has completely changed for the better. I didnt think I could be this happy, and you will be too. I posted my story in the recovery stories section. Click my name and read it if you want, it goes into more of what I was dealing with and how I came out on the other side.

Rebelives

Thanks Nighthawk, I will definitely check out your story..nice to know someone is or should I say..was like me! I'm definitely changing this..no more drinking for me ever!! I am just filling my head up everyday with thoughts on why I want to stop drinking and going on this site as often as possible, thanks for your support and well done you!! I hope I can say the same in 2 yrs time xxx

Rebelives

Wow, Nighthawk, I just read your story and it is very familiar! My dad was an alcoholic, he stopped drinking after having a heart attack. My brother died when I was 16 whom I was extremely close to and not long after I ran away to Greece, living life as a wild P.R where I met my D.J husband. Together we partied as much as possible until I fell pregnant with our first child. I was completely tee-total until after I had our third and then on a night out away from the kids I was offered coke. The alcohol became a crutch to get me off of the drugs which I managed after about a year but haven't been able to kick the drinking..as of yet...I actually had a fourth baby 6 months ago, I hate to say it but I fell pregnant purley to stop drinking as I never struggle to quit anything when i'm expecting. Unfortunately the minute I had him I went straight back to it. Thankyou for sharing your story, it has really helped me..

InspiringBurden

you have a great avatar