I talked to my daughter today
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I talked to my daughter today
My daughter is 37 yrs old. When I was getting a divorce she hardly spoke to me at all. She blamed me for many things, she blamed me for not wanting to be at parties that my stbx would be at. She actually had filed a restraining order against me. When we went to court for that, the judge threw it right out. While I was going thru the divorce, my ex, became Mr. Nice to my children. My oldest is not even his biological child. She is mine. He had adopted her.
So for the last 4 years or more we had an up and down relationship.
That was some of the background.
She called me today to talk about her marriage. She is in an abusive relationship. Her H is not an alcoholic, he is a gambler, says that he would never drink, because he knows he would be addicted, just like he is to gambling.
She called me to ask me how she could "fix" the marriage. I told her that I am not in the position to tell her that since I am divorced. I told her that I don't have an answer to that, because there is no answer. I told her that it takes two people to work towards that.
She kept telling me the things that were wrong, and I was able to relate to them, I just asked her to keep in mind that I do still love her dad, but I needed her to know where my experience came from. (I hope that wasn't wrong)
But for the first time in decades I think that she might actually feel like I am a real person, not just a mother.
I recommended books for her to read. Co-dependency, no more, top of the list. I told her to read them for herself, and not to read them as a way to change him. I had also send her 3 books years ago, Depression Fallout, Verbal Abuse, and Why Does He Do That. She told me that she finally dug those out and that she is going to read them. She said that when I first sent them to her, she felt that I was just trying to blame her dad. (I do admit the timing may have been wrong there), but she is now going to read them to learn more about herself and why she accepted what she did.
She has 2 children, ages 5 and 7. Her H had attempted suicide about 6 weeks ago. He has not worked now in about 5 years. He has money, he keeps withdrawing from his 401K to pay bills.
At times, I just don't know what to say. It's really hard to talk to your daughter without saying things about her dad, and the reason for why I know what I know.
She does idolize him, mostly because her bio dad had abandoned her.
So I guess I don't really know how to handle this, and if I am doing ok, or not, or what I should do.
One of the things she told me today, and it doesn't seem that bad, but then again, I don't know what not that bad is--------- My daughter was really sick, she had asked her H to get her mucinex when he went shopping. He came back with more groceries then ever before. Klondike bars were on sale, he got 10 packages of them. After the groceries were put away, my daughters son had asked for the mucinex for his mom. His dad told him it was too expensive, and they didnt have a generic for it, so he didn't get it. My grandson then went to the freezer, and started to pack up all the Klondike bars, told his dad, that he didn't need them, to take them back and to get his mom her medicine. He is only 7.
How would you handle things like this? Did I do OK so far?
So for the last 4 years or more we had an up and down relationship.
That was some of the background.
She called me today to talk about her marriage. She is in an abusive relationship. Her H is not an alcoholic, he is a gambler, says that he would never drink, because he knows he would be addicted, just like he is to gambling.
She called me to ask me how she could "fix" the marriage. I told her that I am not in the position to tell her that since I am divorced. I told her that I don't have an answer to that, because there is no answer. I told her that it takes two people to work towards that.
She kept telling me the things that were wrong, and I was able to relate to them, I just asked her to keep in mind that I do still love her dad, but I needed her to know where my experience came from. (I hope that wasn't wrong)
But for the first time in decades I think that she might actually feel like I am a real person, not just a mother.
I recommended books for her to read. Co-dependency, no more, top of the list. I told her to read them for herself, and not to read them as a way to change him. I had also send her 3 books years ago, Depression Fallout, Verbal Abuse, and Why Does He Do That. She told me that she finally dug those out and that she is going to read them. She said that when I first sent them to her, she felt that I was just trying to blame her dad. (I do admit the timing may have been wrong there), but she is now going to read them to learn more about herself and why she accepted what she did.
She has 2 children, ages 5 and 7. Her H had attempted suicide about 6 weeks ago. He has not worked now in about 5 years. He has money, he keeps withdrawing from his 401K to pay bills.
At times, I just don't know what to say. It's really hard to talk to your daughter without saying things about her dad, and the reason for why I know what I know.
She does idolize him, mostly because her bio dad had abandoned her.
So I guess I don't really know how to handle this, and if I am doing ok, or not, or what I should do.
One of the things she told me today, and it doesn't seem that bad, but then again, I don't know what not that bad is--------- My daughter was really sick, she had asked her H to get her mucinex when he went shopping. He came back with more groceries then ever before. Klondike bars were on sale, he got 10 packages of them. After the groceries were put away, my daughters son had asked for the mucinex for his mom. His dad told him it was too expensive, and they didnt have a generic for it, so he didn't get it. My grandson then went to the freezer, and started to pack up all the Klondike bars, told his dad, that he didn't need them, to take them back and to get his mom her medicine. He is only 7.
How would you handle things like this? Did I do OK so far?
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I don't really have any words or wisdom in this situation, amy, as I don't have kids. But I just wanted to say that the story about your grandson brought tears to my eyes....what a sweet, sweet boy. He's only 7 and HE is acting more mature than his own father!!
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But for the first time in decades I think that she might actually feel like I am a real person, not just a mother.
As grown women who have been in troubled marriages.
You will always be mom, but she is grown now.
And it sounds like she is starting to let go of some of the resentments she held against you for your divorce.
She still has to accept that maybe, just maybe, the man she idolized was not the super hero she thought he was.
She might just be starting to let this to enter her consciousness as she reads these books with different eyes now.
As a grown woman, with a husband who would buy 10 packs of klondikes instead of buying her the medication she needs to be comfortable.
She will be asking herself why she chose that man, out of all the men on the planet, one with a serious problem (an addiction problem).
Be mom, and comfort and soothe her if you can. Just listen. And wait.
You are a real person who made her own mistakes.
If at all possible, even with what you know, try to put yourself in her place.
Her bio dad abandoned her. She knows this and no matter what happened she will not abandon her stepfather (because that would allow another man to abandon her).
I can tell you from experience abandonment is a terrifying, horrific thing to grow up with, either through addiction, death or divorce, being left by a parent is awful.
She is not ready for what you know. My final advice, keep calm, breathe, and listen.
Listen to hear yourself back then. Maybe this is her attempt to get a better relationship with you. You do not need to be right about your ex husband right now.
Listen. Hear her fears of being married to an emotionally immature and thoughtless man.
Attempting suicide? Has he been seen by a doctor? Been diagnosed? Have any treatment regimen?
You can help her think of solutions. You are good at that, listening, taking information and helping people. If it helps, try to distance yourself emotionally when you feel as if she is being unfair to you. I understand that too.
Sometimes, no matter the age, a person in pain wants their mom.
You helped me see that my son is not being irrational at me, he is ill.
God bless your grandson. Wow, what a thoughtful boy. My youngest son is like that when he is feeling well. It is amazing to get together as friends when we are adults.
I am working on that, cause I feel I failed them at a crucial time. But, I am still alive and we are still talking so everything can be negotiated.
Be good to yourself, and be good to your daughter (and hopefully future friend)
Love and prayers to you my friend,
Beth
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Thank you EverHopeful, I also just teared up when she said that to me. My daughter is a drama queen, but it is things like this that I believe. She has Celiac Disease. She had once asked him to buy chicken, because she could eat that. I was actually there this time, so I believe it. He came back with bags and bags of potato chips because they were on sale and chicken wasn't.
And yes, my daughter is a drama queen. She filed the restraining order against me because she said that I was harrassing her about a birthday party for her son, because I wanted half of the party, I didn't want to be there at the same time my ex was there. Coincidently at this time, someone had called DYFS ( division of youth and family services) on her. Charges were ridiculous. Said she takes drugs, yes she takes medication, she has numerous illnesses, all are prescribed, said she left her children with a teenager, well the teenager was 26, someone that I knew for 20 years, and he used to work at a day care place. said she had a cat, and the litter box was where the kids could get to it, OMG, yes, she has a cat, litter box was in the pantry, and pantry door had a cat door on it to get in and of it.
She blamed me for this, and I didn't do this, had to get a lawyer, $1500. and went to court. Neither I nor more lawyer even had to speak. The first question the judge had asked was when was the last time the two of you lived together? By daughter told him 2 years ago when I was on bedrest, and my mom came to take care of me. Judge dismissed the restraining order.
I am always so embarrassed to write about this, but I feel I need to, because I feel like I need to walk on eggshells around her.
The day that I did go to court about the restraining order, my lawyer had tried to talk to my daughter about dropping the charges, he came back to me and he told me to "always fear her, because she just wants to destroy you". But she is my daughter, and she contacts me, and I cannot ignore her.
So I guess I don't know what my question is. It's been about 4 years since she had filed that restraining order, we have been on and off again for a long time. If she is reaching out to me, do I respond to this, or just ignore this? If I respond, how do I do this? She told me today that she resented me for a long time, but that she is finally starting to see what I went through. Do I believe that?
And yes, my daughter is a drama queen. She filed the restraining order against me because she said that I was harrassing her about a birthday party for her son, because I wanted half of the party, I didn't want to be there at the same time my ex was there. Coincidently at this time, someone had called DYFS ( division of youth and family services) on her. Charges were ridiculous. Said she takes drugs, yes she takes medication, she has numerous illnesses, all are prescribed, said she left her children with a teenager, well the teenager was 26, someone that I knew for 20 years, and he used to work at a day care place. said she had a cat, and the litter box was where the kids could get to it, OMG, yes, she has a cat, litter box was in the pantry, and pantry door had a cat door on it to get in and of it.
She blamed me for this, and I didn't do this, had to get a lawyer, $1500. and went to court. Neither I nor more lawyer even had to speak. The first question the judge had asked was when was the last time the two of you lived together? By daughter told him 2 years ago when I was on bedrest, and my mom came to take care of me. Judge dismissed the restraining order.
I am always so embarrassed to write about this, but I feel I need to, because I feel like I need to walk on eggshells around her.
The day that I did go to court about the restraining order, my lawyer had tried to talk to my daughter about dropping the charges, he came back to me and he told me to "always fear her, because she just wants to destroy you". But she is my daughter, and she contacts me, and I cannot ignore her.
So I guess I don't know what my question is. It's been about 4 years since she had filed that restraining order, we have been on and off again for a long time. If she is reaching out to me, do I respond to this, or just ignore this? If I respond, how do I do this? She told me today that she resented me for a long time, but that she is finally starting to see what I went through. Do I believe that?
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You do not need to be right about your ex husband right now.
If she says things you know are wrong, or she seems to be spoiling for a fight
(for whatever reason, she is living in chaos right now)
You can calmly and clearly say,
"dearest daughter, I cannot talk about this right now, it is too upsetting for me.
I want to help you in any way I can, but talking about this subject will get me off track of helping you."
Beth
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Beth,
I am surprisingly ok talking about my ex with her. I do not, and will not put him down. I do try to tell her that not everyone is right, not everyone is wrong. I try to talk about perceptions of things. By doing this it's not me saying right or wrong, or whether she or her H is right or wrong. It's more of trying to come to an understanding of what the other person might be thinking, then let it go. Then decide if you can live like this.
It's really funny, I can write things here that make absolutely no sense at all, or at least I don't think so, once I reread it again, but everyone here does know what I am talking about
I am surprisingly ok talking about my ex with her. I do not, and will not put him down. I do try to tell her that not everyone is right, not everyone is wrong. I try to talk about perceptions of things. By doing this it's not me saying right or wrong, or whether she or her H is right or wrong. It's more of trying to come to an understanding of what the other person might be thinking, then let it go. Then decide if you can live like this.
It's really funny, I can write things here that make absolutely no sense at all, or at least I don't think so, once I reread it again, but everyone here does know what I am talking about
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She told me today that she resented me for a long time, but that she is finally starting to see what I went through. Do I believe that?
Does she have mental disorders too?
Who would file that ridiculous claim against her? Would her husband do it?
But, I guess I still think that if you keep your counsel to helping her, (just talk, not financially, not with an addict in the house). talking to her until YOU feel safe enough to move forward.
Four years is a long time. You can forgive but never forget.
I think she is and has had time to think and to wonder why she is in the position she is in now.
Why would your daughter want to destroy you?
Something your ex told her?
Does her husband have a problem with you?
Well, I guess what really matters here is you Amy.
I do not want you to step into any more hurt.
What she said and how she is talking about the books now, well it sounds as if she might be having some revelations about the past.
Go easy and take care of yourself.
Wait and more will be revealed.
It would be my hope for both of you to mend your relationship, but not at the cost of your health and peace of mind.
Beth
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Beth,
About that restraining order, I have no idea who would have done that, don't really even care, they had my name, my social security number, my date of birth, this person also called a social security office in Pa, and told them that she was working while filing for disability benefits.
I do try to keep it to just phone calls, she has totally destroyed my relationship with my youngest daughter, this was our last fallout, until we had to get together for a funeral this past weekend.
She also did a good job on my son, but my son and I are just fine now.
I do know that I will get my youngest daughter back again, but I feel sometimes that I just need to be nice to my oldest for this to happen. So I continue to listen.
Financially so far, she has gotten $1000 out of me. That is it. Just recently lent her another $200., said she is going to transfer back to me tomorrow, if she doesn't that is ok also. Will consider it her birthday, and christmas present. And also another well earned lesson for me
Guess it was just surprising also for me that all through the divorce my children almost never spoke to me, but they knew who to call when my daughters roommate was being stalked, when my sons fiance (now), but before they were even dating she was stalked, and now, about abuse.
So I guess sometimes I question myself. Did they begin to hate me because I was weak, and stayed in the relationship way too long for any sane person to do?
Are they now seeing my strengths because I was there that long, and I do know what I am talking about?
And why do I always feel so confused about things when I post?
About that restraining order, I have no idea who would have done that, don't really even care, they had my name, my social security number, my date of birth, this person also called a social security office in Pa, and told them that she was working while filing for disability benefits.
I do try to keep it to just phone calls, she has totally destroyed my relationship with my youngest daughter, this was our last fallout, until we had to get together for a funeral this past weekend.
She also did a good job on my son, but my son and I are just fine now.
I do know that I will get my youngest daughter back again, but I feel sometimes that I just need to be nice to my oldest for this to happen. So I continue to listen.
Financially so far, she has gotten $1000 out of me. That is it. Just recently lent her another $200., said she is going to transfer back to me tomorrow, if she doesn't that is ok also. Will consider it her birthday, and christmas present. And also another well earned lesson for me
Guess it was just surprising also for me that all through the divorce my children almost never spoke to me, but they knew who to call when my daughters roommate was being stalked, when my sons fiance (now), but before they were even dating she was stalked, and now, about abuse.
So I guess sometimes I question myself. Did they begin to hate me because I was weak, and stayed in the relationship way too long for any sane person to do?
Are they now seeing my strengths because I was there that long, and I do know what I am talking about?
And why do I always feel so confused about things when I post?
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Beth,
I also never answered your question as to whether or not my daughter has any mental disorders.
Not that I know of, but I do think she is NPD. Haven't seen signs of anything else. But she sells Lia Sophia jewelry, and no matter what occassion it is, she will bring her display with her, and her books with her, and try to sell, she will also try to run the entire occassion. It always has to be about her. Bridal shower, well, she should be acknowledged first for the good job she did.
I also never answered your question as to whether or not my daughter has any mental disorders.
Not that I know of, but I do think she is NPD. Haven't seen signs of anything else. But she sells Lia Sophia jewelry, and no matter what occassion it is, she will bring her display with her, and her books with her, and try to sell, she will also try to run the entire occassion. It always has to be about her. Bridal shower, well, she should be acknowledged first for the good job she did.
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Not that I know of, but I do think she is NPD. Haven't seen signs of anything else. But she sells Lia Sophia jewelry, and no matter what occasion it is, she will bring her display with her, and her books with her, and try to sell, she will also try to run the entire occasion. It always has to be about her. Bridal shower, well, she should be acknowledged first for the good job she did
By the time she left, I was out thousands of dollars, the VA hospital had labeled me a drug seeker (she stole my meds) and my relationship with my daughter was hanging by a thread.
Do not let NPD into your life any more than necessary. I am deeply sorry if your daughter is this ill. But her illness and lack of empathy that comes with that illness will destroy you.
Oh yes, drama queen, runs the show, everyone look at me, not my dead father in the casket. Wow, I got more stuff, but you get the idea.
I hate that we cannot be together and share a house and live like friends and sisters. But it would kill me, I know.
Always err on the side of your safety. Be cordial and understanding, but do not let her know too much about you. If she is NPD I would question every motive.
Only do what you are comfortable with, and not anything she demands of you. If she is NPD or borderline personality, there will always be a come here, go away thing going on.
Yep, keep your money in your pocket, unless you can let it go, and keep your distance.
You remember how you told me about my son and his disorder, how he might view things and remember things differently. Same thing here, except I think the damage is worse because it is on purpose, or only to serve one purpose,
themselves.
It is not to you, or even about you, it is only about them.
Keep it cordial only for the sake of the relationship between you and your other children. If they do not know this about her, they will believe every word she says. It is crazy I know, but my sister was so damn convincing it was scary.
what is crazy is, my sister just posted on my facebook page last week.
"i love my sister"
I thought she meant that, so I replied, I love you too. How about calling so we can talk.
Nothing. not a word. It has been 4 years. And that was it.
Easy to say I love you, much harder to do.
Beth
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Are they now seeing my strengths because I was there that long, and I do know what I am talking about?
And why do I always feel so confused about things when I post?
And why do I always feel so confused about things when I post?
Sadly, if your oldest is NPD and was running the show with her siblings, that is what would suit her best. That you were the "wrong" one, cause Dad was being Disney Dad.
Maybe, now that everyone is older and a little wiser, she is having an attack of the what ifs?
What if my siblings find out the truth? (about anything)
Maybe I should be the one to let mom back in and come out smelling like a rose.
Not the plotting selfish devious person I am.
Wow, I got a whole lotta conjecture going on, and my sister is the one.
She told some whoppers to me.
I mean big lies that break up a family.
Then, lied about the lies.
LOL.
take care of yourself Amy.
You are doing pretty good right now.
How is that tilling coming along?
Beth
You dont confuse me Amy.
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Beth,
I hear you on this. I want a mother - daughter relationship. I don't think that this will ever happen. I am on guarded best control with her. I want to be there for her, but yet I don't. I don't because I feel that she will start using me again.
She is in an abusive relationship, she has told me a lot more then I have posted. He is verbally, emotionally, financially abusive. So far not physical, or at least she hasn't told me.
At times I feel like I might not be the right person for her to talk to. I don't want her to get a divorce, that might mean that she will move in with me.
But at the same time, I can't ignore what she says to me.
I can deal with NPD, I can't deal with being treated like a nanny and a housekeeper, maid, cook.
And I really hate to say this, but I will.................................... sometimes I don't really know who the abused person is in this marriage?
Is it that he just had enough already? I don't know. I just keep trying to tell her to keep her side of the street clean.
I guess that is what is most confusing for me. Is he abusive, is she abusive, or are they both abusive?
So I try to gear my answers to all different scenerios. Still walking on eggshells, thought I was done with that once I was divorced.
Can't and don't want to end my effed up relationship with my daughter. She is my daughter.
I just went to a memorial last weekend. My aunt died. My aunt and her daughter did not speak to each other for over 20 years. My cousin, (her daughter) did not come to the memorial, but her son did. He never knew that he had family. He has contacted everyone in the family so that he can be welcomed back in.
I don't ever want that to happen to me, or my daughter. My family was turning against my daughter when she filed that RO. I asked them not to.
I am keeping my money in my pocket this time, and hopefully my sanity.
I hear you on this. I want a mother - daughter relationship. I don't think that this will ever happen. I am on guarded best control with her. I want to be there for her, but yet I don't. I don't because I feel that she will start using me again.
She is in an abusive relationship, she has told me a lot more then I have posted. He is verbally, emotionally, financially abusive. So far not physical, or at least she hasn't told me.
At times I feel like I might not be the right person for her to talk to. I don't want her to get a divorce, that might mean that she will move in with me.
But at the same time, I can't ignore what she says to me.
I can deal with NPD, I can't deal with being treated like a nanny and a housekeeper, maid, cook.
And I really hate to say this, but I will.................................... sometimes I don't really know who the abused person is in this marriage?
Is it that he just had enough already? I don't know. I just keep trying to tell her to keep her side of the street clean.
I guess that is what is most confusing for me. Is he abusive, is she abusive, or are they both abusive?
So I try to gear my answers to all different scenerios. Still walking on eggshells, thought I was done with that once I was divorced.
Can't and don't want to end my effed up relationship with my daughter. She is my daughter.
I just went to a memorial last weekend. My aunt died. My aunt and her daughter did not speak to each other for over 20 years. My cousin, (her daughter) did not come to the memorial, but her son did. He never knew that he had family. He has contacted everyone in the family so that he can be welcomed back in.
I don't ever want that to happen to me, or my daughter. My family was turning against my daughter when she filed that RO. I asked them not to.
I am keeping my money in my pocket this time, and hopefully my sanity.
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I don't ever want that to happen to me, or my daughter. My family was turning against my daughter when she filed that RO. I asked them not to.
Having blood relatives so sick.
and especially our children.
I don't because I feel that she will start using me again.
sometimes I don't really know who the abused person is in this marriage?
I would wonder too. Especially with all the drama queen stuff. They could be feeding off each others illness, but, oh my what about the kids. dammit.
I wonder how much longer my "help my child" bucket will last.
I am sad and lonely, and have two grown children living with me, and my daughter is less than 10 miles away.
Oh, I am just feeling down tonight too.
My son actually started the SSI process, we are going to an appointment.
But you know he had to say, I will get the same woman who says my paperwork isnt right.
LOL Good God, for the love of our children huh?
My granddaughter was one year old on the 30th. less than an hour ago.
i texted the mom 4 times, no response.
But the baby is comin saturday to stay for a night.
we will have cake and a party.
it will be great.
Beth
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Dear amy, don't let guilt influence (we mothers are prone to this). Use many of the same princiles that you have learned her and through alanon, reading, etc. to keep your footing in this relationship.
She is responsible for her own life and happinesss. I don't know her, of course--but, you do. Keep your boundrys in order not to be exploited. You cannot be her therapist; her financial institution; or her whipping post (blame-shifting).
Of course, you can have empathy---and you all can relate around a gazillion other topics--if she will allow. Refer her to professionals to help her with her problems--Adult Child of Alcoholic; recommending readings; appropriate sources for social services; abused counseling, etc......whatever seems appropiate.
She sounds like she has a l ot of growing up to do and she needs a program for recovery of her own.
You need an ADULT relationship with her. There are a number of books o n Amazon.com about how to cope with adult children---you can get used ones pretty cheaply. You m ight get a lot of insight and comfort (for yourself) from some of them.
You might keep the serenity prayer on your lips, about now.
dandylion
She is responsible for her own life and happinesss. I don't know her, of course--but, you do. Keep your boundrys in order not to be exploited. You cannot be her therapist; her financial institution; or her whipping post (blame-shifting).
Of course, you can have empathy---and you all can relate around a gazillion other topics--if she will allow. Refer her to professionals to help her with her problems--Adult Child of Alcoholic; recommending readings; appropriate sources for social services; abused counseling, etc......whatever seems appropiate.
She sounds like she has a l ot of growing up to do and she needs a program for recovery of her own.
You need an ADULT relationship with her. There are a number of books o n Amazon.com about how to cope with adult children---you can get used ones pretty cheaply. You m ight get a lot of insight and comfort (for yourself) from some of them.
You might keep the serenity prayer on your lips, about now.
dandylion
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Originally Posted by choublak 
Kids shouldn't have to play the parent role though. That's not right.
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Originally Posted by EverHopeful721
Agreed, choublak and that was exactly my point. How sad when a 7 year old knows better than a grown man what the right thing to do is!!
Dandylion, I had stopped feeling guilty awhile ago with her. One of the reasons that I bought my home so quickly after my divorce was so that she could not guilt me into moving in with her. Also, only got a 2 bedroom so that I could have company stay over, but that she could not move in with me. I'm also, not in the best school district.
I have learned a lot from SR. Prior to coming here my advice to her might have been a lot different, I probably would have been trying to help her think of ways to manipulate the situation so that he would change. We all know that doesn't work, so I just keep repeating the 3 C's, advise her to continue with her therapist, and then just listen, and give her a shoulder to cry on.
The money part of it. I lent her $200., I did set a boundary on that. I told her that I could not afford this, and that it was only a loan. I did this knowing that I could afford to lose the $200, am fully aware that I may never see it again, but the other part of the boundary which I did not tell her was that I would just subtract the $200 from her birthday gift and christmas gift. If she does pay me back, then I might begin to trust her a little.
Going to look into books about how to deal, cope with adult children. I guess my biggest worry about talking with her about things about "abuse", is that she knows I am talking about my experiences, and I don't want to sort of "put her in the middle of things". She has a good relationship with her father right now, and I want her to keep it.
Beth, So many things in our lives are so similar. Feels like you could be my sister. The drama never ends does it? Wishing you and your son the best at your appt. If anything doesn't sound right, or is a little confusing, call me.
Oh, and the tilling, still haven't gotten around to that yet. Removed all the plants that I had in that garden bed, was going to till it yesterday, but the heat was too much for me. Ended up with a headache from the heat, so I struggled with my 2 air conditioners and put them in. Then took a nap. Still too hot here today to work out in the sun, so taking a break today.
Just keep repeating to myself
The Serenity Prayers
The 3 C's
and It is What It is
Thanks everyone for keeping me grounded and sane
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