Sazzle

I've read about them but never experienced one before. I woke up with a huge knot in my stomach and anxiety like I used to feel after a bender. It's knocked me sideways!

I went was at a reunion and I was happily drinking lime & soda when someone commented that it was grown up to drink wine. I actually dreamt out the internal dialogue and the 'just have one' thoughts. All the time I was drinking it I was thinking to myself 'slow down, you're guzzling!' I felt a bit slurry and acidic/heartburnie but just decided to drink more white wine. My mum picked me up from the party and I was trying to talk without slurring to cover it up. I could feel her awkwardness about whether to mention it or not. I can recall all the sights & sounds, what I was wearing and I was justifying to myself why it was ok and that I didn't need to reset the clock because I wouldn't do it again.

My subconscious is teaching me a lesson!

I feel rattled right now and I feel like I actually did drink. I think I need to meditate and get some essential oils burning....

Month 6-7 has been the most challenging time for me. It's a weird place of having, what I consider, a decent amount of time behind me but then realising I'm still a baby at all this sobriety!

S x

Natom

I've always found these types of dream to be really beneficial. They have always been very vivid for me. They're kinda like a virtual reality step one for me. For that brief split second when I wake up I feel like I have done when I've relapsed. It reminds me why I'm still clean and sober. I used to have them almost nightly, have about one every two months or so now. Take the lesson your subconscious is giving you and remember that you're not that person anymore.

Natom.

Dee74

They are pretty real and vivid but I've always held a dream is just a dream Saz

D

Jeni26

I've only had a couple but they affected me in the same way as you Sazzle. I felt such anxiety and guilt the next morning it was almost as if I'd really drunk.

The times they happened to me, I was feeling a little unsettled in my life. Things were changing a bit and perhaps my subconscious wandered because I was insecure.

Do something nice for yourself today, shake off those negative feelings. You didn't drink. You're doing really well in sobriety. There's nothing to worry about x

Sazzle

Thanks Dee, Natom & Jeni

Yes, there is something quite unsettling going on in my life and in the past I would have drunk over it. I'm taking this as a warning/ lesson/ subconscious step 1.

S x

Sasha4

I get them all the time Saz.

In fact I take beta blockers every morning for panic and anxiety. I think I have pre-conditioned myself to wake up and thing 'oh my goodness, what did I do?" from my drinking days.

I have damaged vocal cords from stomach acid that sprays into my throat as a result of anxiety. The next step to try and get it under control is surgery. Sometimes I don't want to be here anymore because mornings make me feel so, so bad about myself. I would say I only feel okay at about 3pm - 4pm.

Don't be like me Saz. Forget it and see it as a a one off bad dream.
Have a nice day today

My best to you
x

Sazzle

Hi Sasha & thanks for the reply. Sorry to read about your anxiety. That sounds awful, and I hope you can find some relief soon. I can feel myself getting more anxious as the weeks go by, but I do see it as a cycle and things will even itself out. I think 20 years of necking wine has damaged my thought processes somewhat. Despite everything, I'd still rather be here than there.

Wish you better.

S x

tomsteve

8 years in and im still a baby in recovery and I still get them dreams occasionally. im powerless over what dreams come up while im sleeping, but im not powerless over how I respond, which most times is gratitude they are just dreams.

sassu78

I had my first drinking dream last night as well!!!
And it was so real!

In a dream I woke up my head spinning at my friend's house.
I felt the hangover coming and didn't remember how many I had the night before. I saw all the empty bottles scattered all over the place.
I needed to go to work but since I have breathalyzer in my car, I didn't know if I can drive yet...it was so awful!!

I woke up, took a deep breath and smiled soooo hard my face is still hurting...aaaaa...feels so good to be sober!!!

Sazzle

SNAP! How spooky. It's a weird feeling when you have to adjust from dreamland to awake.