thinking about changing my number
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
thinking about changing my number
I haven't heard from my xah for 7 months. He has seen our son 3 times in 1 year. He hasn't paid child support. He has moved without telling us. I honestly have no idea where he is. I even lost his phone number when my phone broke.
All this is totally fine with me. I don't need an addict in my life.
But, here is what gets me. I fel like I am hiding. My voicemail box is full on purpose. I don't want to hear from him, his mother and/'or his sisters or father (all of whom I haven't talked to in over a year). His family has turned their back on me and have been in complete denial about his addiction. I don't need it. I am trying to heal. And, I am on the road.
I am not a phone talker by any means. In fact, I am an introvert by nature and have a select amount of friends. SO, when the phone rings and I see a number I don't know I get a pain of anxiety. Then, I drop everything and do a a call reversal to see who the number is from, and if the number is from him orr his girlfriend. It really is pathetic. Today I got 2 phone calls from unknown numbers. I did the call reversal. 1 was the pediatrician, and the other was medicare. It is silly!! This doesn't see right to feel so anxious about a phone call.
So, I am thinking about changing my number to something unlisted. I am worried that in court it wouldnt look good, but he still has my email address. I even sometimes think his girlfriend who called me before and ratted out thier relationship will call me when something goes wrong.
I want the anxiety to end. I don't want to hypervenilate when an unknown number calls me. It isn't normal.
Do you think it is within my right to change my number if he has my email address? I think this is my next step in healing.
All this is totally fine with me. I don't need an addict in my life.
But, here is what gets me. I fel like I am hiding. My voicemail box is full on purpose. I don't want to hear from him, his mother and/'or his sisters or father (all of whom I haven't talked to in over a year). His family has turned their back on me and have been in complete denial about his addiction. I don't need it. I am trying to heal. And, I am on the road.
I am not a phone talker by any means. In fact, I am an introvert by nature and have a select amount of friends. SO, when the phone rings and I see a number I don't know I get a pain of anxiety. Then, I drop everything and do a a call reversal to see who the number is from, and if the number is from him orr his girlfriend. It really is pathetic. Today I got 2 phone calls from unknown numbers. I did the call reversal. 1 was the pediatrician, and the other was medicare. It is silly!! This doesn't see right to feel so anxious about a phone call.
So, I am thinking about changing my number to something unlisted. I am worried that in court it wouldnt look good, but he still has my email address. I even sometimes think his girlfriend who called me before and ratted out thier relationship will call me when something goes wrong.
I want the anxiety to end. I don't want to hypervenilate when an unknown number calls me. It isn't normal.
Do you think it is within my right to change my number if he has my email address? I think this is my next step in healing.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 6
Changing your number is a logical way to save yourself from those unknown numbers...but they could find out your new one and you'll be in the same boat again. I think instead of this possibly temporary fix, you should work some cognitive therapy into it...because you don't want to react that way whenever the phone rings, anyway! Talk yourself down, change the way you think about it. I feel that in a way, changing the number just embeds the problem deeper.
●▬๑۩۩๑▬●
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
Yes, change that number!
If he has your email address, and he probably knows who your lawyer is/was, he has a way to contact you in an emergency.
Curious though, have you not gone after him for child support because it's just better to be without it and not have the drama?
If he has your email address, and he probably knows who your lawyer is/was, he has a way to contact you in an emergency.
Curious though, have you not gone after him for child support because it's just better to be without it and not have the drama?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
Oh no, I went after him for state mandated child support. He just hasn't paid it. In fact, I can log in and see how much is owed and what his consequences are. 
I understand about working through it and trying to get over this, BUT I have been through enough trauma that I need to work through and get over. Maybe changing it is for the best. He still has ways to get a hold of me...lawyer, email...I just don't want to get a panic attack thinking an unkonwn number is him or his girlfriend. I really have been dragged through it. It is time for it all to end.
I understand about working through it and trying to get over this, BUT I have been through enough trauma that I need to work through and get over. Maybe changing it is for the best. He still has ways to get a hold of me...lawyer, email...I just don't want to get a panic attack thinking an unkonwn number is him or his girlfriend. I really have been dragged through it. It is time for it all to end.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
There are certain programs that allow you to block unknown numbers. The message they receive is "this number does not take blocked calls...please unblock your number and try your call again"
YouMail is free and you can customize messages for certain people and block numbers.
It's awesome...I've been using it for several years now. The only thing you need to know is that it actually forwards your calls to their system and then back to you...so you should make sure you have call forwarding as part of your phone package.
You can also set it up so any voicemail messages are sent to your email address. Which is a cool thing to forward to your lawyer if things were to ever get ugly again.
YouMail is free and you can customize messages for certain people and block numbers.
It's awesome...I've been using it for several years now. The only thing you need to know is that it actually forwards your calls to their system and then back to you...so you should make sure you have call forwarding as part of your phone package.
You can also set it up so any voicemail messages are sent to your email address. Which is a cool thing to forward to your lawyer if things were to ever get ugly again.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
