MamaKit

Hello SR friends,
STBAXH arrives tonight after a long road trip from the opposite coast. He may be back for good...but I don't know for sure. Our trial is in 11 days - he's not filed any of the required papers or responded to any settlement proposals.
I've been very, very, very busy with work and have been grateful for that as a diversion. That project has just about wrapped up and I am being confronted with the reality that I will have to face him in court.
I don't know if I'm afraid...I just feel sort of numb. I feel weak and can't stop just staring out into space.
Why does this happen to me? Why can't I maintain my strength?
I feel as though this post is just a big baby whine - and I haven't had any time to respond to posts in support of others lately - so I'm feeling sheepish about calling out to you all. But every time I post, regardless of whether it's babble or good news, you all pick me up.
I'm already feeling your support just as I type.
Just hoping to snap out of this funk at the moment.
Hugs, Mamakit

LexieCat

Well, HE is the one who should be worried--he hasn't done anything he was supposed to do. YOU, OTOH, are prepared.

Maybe what you are feeling is just that finish-line exhaustion. The end is in sight, but it looks far away. My bet is that once the proceedings begin you will feel calmer and more focused again.

Can you plan a little mini-vacation for once everything is over? Just a weekend at a B&B or something? Something to look forward to when it's all done. Sometimes that helps me get past an event I am dreading--knowing I will have something nice to look forward to on the other side.

Hugs, pretty soon it will be over. You'll be OK. Try to get as much rest as you can in the coming week.

dandylion

Dear mamma, if you notice, when others have posted about upcoming divorce trials--they describe all manner of emotions--just like the ones you are having. From straight out panic attacks to almost catatonic numbness. Anxiety;fear. This seems to be par for the course as things are coming to the culmination.

You will find, that when it actually occurs, you will be much stronger than you imagine. You have got it inside---and it will come forth when you actually need it. All you have to do is breathe--the rest will appear.

Go easy on yourself and make positive self-talk. You are going to be o.k.

sincerely, dandylion

Rosiepetal

I understand how you feel & I wish you all the very best for your trial.
Try to think of it not as an end but to a beginning of a brighter future for you.
Big hugs.