irisgardens

My daughter is actively using heroin. It has been almost four years.

She stopped taking calls four weeks ago and her phone turned off two weeks ago. She was in the streets of San Francisco again and said that her backpack had been stolen and she was going to go to Target to steal underwear.

I am unbearably sad. Spent this mother's day doing good for myself...walked on a beach and collected more shells than I could even carry...and thanked God for the shells.

Her sister before her was a crystal meth addict. She is verbally abusive and calls me crazy. My son said he has been walking on eggshells around me for nine years. What I was doing was trying to help my daughter, bring up my younger children and to be the breadwinner. Starting life over with my husband...financially as we spent what we had...energy, money, hope and care...

I would give anything for my daughter to be in touch...and to be willing to be clean.

Kindeyes

Your story is heartbreaking.....I am so very sorry. Those are difficult thoughts on a day like today.....I've had some rough Mother's Days myself....it is a very deep emotional pain.

I hope that you are doing what you need to do to take care of you. It's so hard when our adult children are on this path but we can do some things to take care of ourselves and lessen the burden on our hearts and minds.

You and your dear daughter will be in my prayers.

very gentle hugs to you today
ke

deeker

So sorry to hear your story, I am sure this is a tough day for you. I am glad you came here and shared. Will keep you and her in my prayers tonight.
Happy Mother's Day!

PresentTense

My daughter is also a heroin addict. She began using crystal meth through IV in the last year because she lived in an area where there was no heroin.

I lost contact with her for about nine months and the encouragement and wisdom I found on Sober Recovery really helped me take care of myself when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and disappear.

She is currently one week into a 2 year recovery program at Cenikor. She has a long way to go and I don't just mean the 2 yrs. She is very sick in mind and body, but alive, and I am grateful for that.

There is a "sticky" at the top of this forum called "Walking Together" that is really beautiful. I hope you read it and realize you are not alone...

GardenMama

I know there are lots of parents here who feel your pain, irisgardens, so if there is any consolation in that, just know we are here and sending you wishes for peace and healing hope for you and your loved ones. Think of every shell as a prayer from all of us. This is something so hard to deal with--I am sorry for your pain. You are among friends here. Take care.

irisgardens

I really appreciate the support and experience and hope from previous experiences. Your posts brought tears to my eyes.

Hope4Bella

I also have a daughter using & abusing any & everything...I joined this site in 2012 & forgot how much it helped me...I have went thru so much in this last year and Christmas was the 1st and biggest shocker for me & my family and now Mother's just finally made me realize that ignoring it & pretending it isn't happening is not helping my mental state or sadness at all...I am glad to be back on here facing this and although I am so sorry for all of us.. I see that not only am I not alone but I have a lot longer road to travel and I really need to listen & reach out.... Hugs to you & I only have HOPE for us ALL..

sojourner

Hello Irisgardens: Lots of (((Hugs))). I also did not hear from my AS this Mother's Day - a first. I am worried for his safety. He has been in this long enough and his problems are severe enough that I know suicide is in his thoughts a lot.

I fully understand the shell story and the gratitude mixed in there. We grab gratitude where we can and hang on tight.

Waiting is our destiny. As creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for, we wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light. We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a "not yet" that feels like a "not ever." Waiting is the hardest work of hope." Lewis Smeades

again, lots of (Hugs) You truly are not alone. I will pray for your daughter and for you and your family. Please pray for my son and me and my family.

wiscsober

I am saddened to hear this but you are not alone...take care of your self...I am a father to an active addict son, and one in recovery...I attend Alanon, but would also recommend Naranon.

irisgardens

I am so appreciative...for those who posted in the midst of their own situations...and addict children. Your posts provided hope and I am also doing on-line naranon and alanon again...had been out for 3-4 years as thought things were better and then in crisis...but it IS helping. Have had a fb message back from a friend (thank you God) saying that she is probably with her old addict bf who is a serious heroin addict and dealer. I am grateful to have some confirmation that she is probably alive and to hear from folks who know her...very sorry to know that she is back as it means the possibility of sobriety and recovery are further away that we had hoped. Love to all and much gratefulness.

wiscsober

Sometimes I have to remember that what I am doing is keeping me sane. And, foolishly when crises pass or I'm feeling great I stop doing what kept me sane!!!