Staying strong with a smile
Orange Lily
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 100
Staying strong with a smile
Hey everyone~
I just wanted to give everyone a bit of my happiness that I'm feeling right in this moment.
Things are less than ideal in my life, I still have to share a roof with my AXBF (working on it, I promise!) and still live in the shadow of our relationship. And right now as I write this, my phone is going OFF THE HOOK because I spent last night at my best friend's house--- because you know, why not? Watched some reality tv, ate some snacks, had a beer or two- I'm not in a relationship and I'm an adult and I can go out and HAVE FUN.
But, as I said, this morning my phone is going off the hook.
And for once, I don't even care. I don't!
The AXBF will continue to send messages to me trying to get my attention, illicit a reaction, blame me for using, blame me for cheating on me, accuse me of cheating on him, accuse me of sleeping around, etc.etc.
And I can honestly say from the pit of my heart that its sad-- because he used to be such a good person. But, it's not my problem anymore. His messages are the addict screaming because his toy is not around anymore. And I won't be pulled into his tantrum.
So everyone who is going through this-- or hasn't reached this sort of serenity, I promise it's out there for you. And it's freeing. My heart feels lighter the more I let go, and it feels GOOD to smile again and not feel guilty about it. I'm stronger every day and I can feel it. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and the day after that, without the addict in him pulling me into his hell.
Hang in there, my lovelies, you're all amazing <3
I just wanted to give everyone a bit of my happiness that I'm feeling right in this moment.
Things are less than ideal in my life, I still have to share a roof with my AXBF (working on it, I promise!) and still live in the shadow of our relationship. And right now as I write this, my phone is going OFF THE HOOK because I spent last night at my best friend's house--- because you know, why not? Watched some reality tv, ate some snacks, had a beer or two- I'm not in a relationship and I'm an adult and I can go out and HAVE FUN.
But, as I said, this morning my phone is going off the hook.
And for once, I don't even care. I don't!
The AXBF will continue to send messages to me trying to get my attention, illicit a reaction, blame me for using, blame me for cheating on me, accuse me of cheating on him, accuse me of sleeping around, etc.etc.
And I can honestly say from the pit of my heart that its sad-- because he used to be such a good person. But, it's not my problem anymore. His messages are the addict screaming because his toy is not around anymore. And I won't be pulled into his tantrum.
So everyone who is going through this-- or hasn't reached this sort of serenity, I promise it's out there for you. And it's freeing. My heart feels lighter the more I let go, and it feels GOOD to smile again and not feel guilty about it. I'm stronger every day and I can feel it. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and the day after that, without the addict in him pulling me into his hell.
Hang in there, my lovelies, you're all amazing <3
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Lily, it sounds like you have found your peace, the kind of peace that keeps your heart still no matter what is going on all around you. It's called recovery and you shine girl!
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Hugs
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Hugs
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
