Clarity123

I started AA on March 17th and stayed sober for 4 weeks - just shy of the 30 day mark. I drank at a family baptism lunch - 3 glasses of wine and then drank again that night on my own. I came out of a blackout to find myself having sex with a stranger in my apartment. He was gone in the morning. I was terrified but not terrified enough to stop drinking. I went for a panel of STD tests and so far, I am clean, but I didn't learn my lesson. I still wanted to drink. Started a new job for a horrific boss who is stealing my work, berating me constantly and leering at my legs. Also started drinking a couple of times a week. Last night went on a binge and didn't make it to work today. I've never missed work due to drinking. I am going back to AA tonight. I need to make meetings everyday. I know it but its hard. This disease is a scourge.

2granddaughters

Commit to AA and it will save your life.

I hope you come out of this escapade unscathed and learn your lesson.

All the best.

Bob R

Clarity123

I don't appreciate you calling this an "escapade" and if you are a fellow alcoholic, you should know that recovery is more than about "learning a lesson." Your comments are hurtful and not helpful at all.

sassu78

Hi Clarity. We all have relapses. I have tried to quit so many times.
Any negative event always upset me and I drank myself happy.
It always worked until the morning came with hangover followed by withdrawals..

It's my 8th day sober and it has been the hardest days of my life but it is getting easier every day...when I feel like drinking I lock myself to my bedroom, take my laptop out and come here to read posts. I tried the chat first time few days ago and it was amazing to meet supportive, wonderful people..

Try to turn your self hate into inspiration to get sober.

I wish you all the best. You came to the right place

Tamerua

Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about what is going on. Keep posting here, reading, maybe check out the class of May 2013. Do you have a sponsor? Good luck!

Hevyn

Hello clarity. I'm so glad you came here to talk about this.

I hope it helps to be part of SR - we care about you and want to help. You never have to feel this anxiety again - you can stay quit and have a wonderful new life. I was able to stop after a lifetime of drinking - you will do it too.

GhostFace

Hang in there. Today I'm on day 1 and i feel low and doubtful. I know what my triggers are so I must stay away for my own good. I haven't felt so low in years but I'm taking everyone advice here and taking it one day at a time..

Dee74

Welcome back Clarity

In my experience, to fix my life I needed to fix my drinking first. Once I got that right, everything else eventually fell into place.

There's a ton of support here - I hope you'll use it and join us regularly too

Clarity123

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your kind words. I went back to this meeting that I really like this evening. I have not been attending meetings since I started a new job a few weeks ago and have a very long driving commute. That was a big mistake. I desperately need to do 90 meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

Clarity123

Good luck Ghostface and thank you.